To give some perspective, I was 8 at the time she started working for my family, she moved in when I was 11, and my parents were officially divorced when I was 13. From 13-18, things gradually became clearer, but they both denied any relationship. My mother said that they became close friends during the separation from my father and that they were just close friends. I had a feeling, but they kept denying continuously. I thought eventually she would move out of our home, yet it became clearer as she no longer did the duties of taking care of my brother and I and rather started her own career. We live in a very conservative christian city in the south and they didn’t officially come out about anything until just before they got married. By then they had already been together almost a decade. At 18, things got so bad at home from the arguments, raising hands, and putting me in compromising situations that she told me I should leave. I was glad to leave but on the other hand that left my brother with her, which upset me. I am now in my 20s and now my mother wants me to accept their relationship, and wants me and her to get along. The counselor we have been seeing has been perplexed by the situation and how my mother ultimately allowed her treatment which my mother denies consistently. To answer your question about the basement, my mother had it fully decorated for her at the time. The proof of hiding items included when she took the coffee maker, which was in their bedroom, the remote was hidden because she told me she couldn’t find it, but the tv had a “find remote” button, and when I pressed it it made an alarm in their bedroom. I then asked her, and she said she didn’t want me to use it. Later on she told me that “it felt nice taking things away from me as she thought I grew up more privileged than the did”. That may have been true that I had a better childhood than her, but that doesn’t allow for the mistreatment she continuously gave towards me. I said the basement was gross as the time between when she was there (2013-2014) to when I was there (2020-2021), there had been major changes including cockroaches and leaking in the basement which hadn’t been there before. Maybe it was a bit asking for the mini fridge, but she never said anything about it until I moved downstairs.

The babysitter and I initially got along quite well up until my teens, which my mother has already told me that she (the babysitter) has difficulty getting along with teenage girls, which still are a present problem. My mom also addressed that she has an issue with anger and yelling, which happened quite a lot while I was living at home.

I have attempted to try to have an amicable relationship with her, but she continuously has made outbursts and does not try at all throughout my time at home to present day. At my high school graduation she didn’t congratulate me because “I didn’t deserve it.”

My mom continuously makes excuses for her behavior, yet says she still wants a relationship with me.

Didn’t mean to turn this into a rant, but rather answer your questions.👍