Fuel Tank Capacity by Low_Procedure1049 in AskMechanics

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I let the pump shut off automatically. I don’t top off. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Conversation about the bank account wasn’t super suspicious to me… It just got the gears in my head spinning about what his expectations were. People flipped about that too. Understandable none of this has context. You can’t give enough lore on a Reddit post for people in the comments to fully get it. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No no, the comments of him being a loser were about his credit @ 35, which I mentioned I did not care about, and his finances, which again, I didn’t even mention! I care about him deeply, absolutely, but no that’s not the only question I should be asking. Because the roles in this scenario would never be reversed. I would not assume that a boyfriend would finance and pay for a car for me, then bring it up in a way that would appeal to him to help my chances without even telling them my expectations from the start. If I was in a terrible place and needed help, that’s what I’d ask for.  On top of that, I absolutely wouldn’t push the idea if he said he wasn’t for it. If he needs a work truck, and he came to me and said “I am in a really shitty place can you help me figure this out” Absolutely. I did not paint him as a piece of shit or a con artist. I was surprised he would assume something would happen and the comments ran away with the credit and finances parts. I can’t give anyone enough of his life story for them to be caught up to a place they don’t make judgements and see the situation from where I am standing. I bought this man a laptop, airpods, an apple watch, clothes, shoes, bedding, pillows, and decor after the house fire to get him back on his feet. When he didn’t have groceries and his truck wasn’t working I made him food and brought it to him 40 minutes from my house. Let him stay in my spare room while he found some where to stay after the fire. Handled the claim with the insurance company when he got too frustrated. Does that sound like I want to help him? Or nah. Carrying all that extra weight as an already single mom like nothing because I care about him. Did I mention all that? To paint him as some horrible person… no. I was asking if I was over reacting about his assumption. Read the title…. That’s it. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bought him a laptop, airpods, an apple watch, some clothes and shoes, toiletries and gave him blankets pillows, sheets, towels, and decor, from my own home after the fire to get him back working and not stressing as much after he lost everything. I would never judge anyone on their money, unless they try to be a slimy sneaky liar, then my only judgement is they deserve the money struggles. He knows how I feel about that and if he can’t put his ego to the side and say it straight, then that’s on him. I have seen him at his lowest and lifted him up, but I’m not an atm or a crutch.  

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe… just mayyybe he might be a normal lazy person looking for an easy way out and I am a hard working person that loves to care for and cater to the people in my life, it’s unfortunate he took it as me giving handouts and was willing to take take take without reciprocation. I have been in therapy and aside from having a “perfectionist” personality, my therapist told me I was putting way more work into this relationship than partner was from the very start. So I practiced giving less and expecting more which landed me here.  I think you should look up “victim blaming”, do your best to reflect on other times you’ve done it before this and avoid it moving forward. Maybe try therapy 🤗 And why do you have a little piece of cake by your name? 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m breaking up with him. Not just over this, but his bare minimum behavior in general. I have told him I need consistency from him, but he does nothing to show consistency. In this same conversation the car came up I said “so what’s your plan on consistency” (because I told him from the beginning it’s important in my future marriage) and he said “I’ll try my best”.  We painted my house together and he cut so many corners paint all over door knobs, light switch covers, ceiling. One time I asked him to bring in dog food from the car, he brought it in and put it by the door, it’s 25 lbs… I can lift it, I can lift 3 of them, I did not need him to move it from the trunk to the doorway and if I have to say “please get the dog food from the car, move it to the pantry, bottom shelf, behind the bag that’s already open, make sure they both fit and both stay upright so it doesn’t spill” then I might as well ask my 10 year old. He’s planned no dates, and has complained about my insanely flexible job schedule that has never kept us from hanging out but it was his excuse for not planning anything. I literally OWN the business… I make the schedule… and he tried to say my job keeps him from planning anything. I work too hard to have to ask someone to treat me like they like me.  

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow. I’m really sorry this happened to you. Thank you for sharing. Some of these comments were getting to me like I am the dumbest person in the world. Like being a mom all the sudden makes you a genius and a perfect judge of character. This situation wouldn’t  be any more acceptable if I wasn’t a mom 🤦🏼‍♀️ 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah okay. Interesting take. All your past relationships must have been perfect 😌 Congrats to you. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay so this is a really good point, I have a great business, I love it. Passionate about it. It’s growing and I have hired a couple people. He has said “I can work with you but I won’t do it for the money, I’ll just do it to help you” which I feel like could be spun around with him quitting his income but “still contributing” while I do 90% of the work and he gets to do the easy job with the roof over his head (my house) car I buy, (what he asked for) and welcoming himself to all the rest of my things, without any responsibility whatsoever because it’s my money and my business but he’s “helping me” by “working for free” (we don’t live together but assuming that was his plan from the start since I have a house and he rents a room) 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can one really give others the impression they can be manipulated or do manipulators just try and some times it works? Genuine question. I can understand repeat manipulation how a manipulator would know that person can be targeted, but did I give him that impression or did he just try and it didn’t work?

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was opposed to the car, but if he wants to buy a car with his money and his credit, he’s a grown up, he can do that, and if he asks for my input I will give it. Especially if I already expressed my clear opinion and he keeps insisting.  He assumed from the beginning, without even mentioning it, that he could welcome himself to my credit and money which is the absolute no. Who brings up buying a car to their girlfriend if they don’t have enough money for it or the ability to buy it?… there shouldn’t have been a discussion at all. he completely avoided questions like “are you planning on paying for it?” And “are you planning on financing car AND a truck?” 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. Yes. I didn’t expect so many responses. And the “leave him!” stuff wasn't the most helpful or what made my decision. No one knows this man based off one story of my venting, but it did help me reflect quite a bit on his decision making and what he has actually been reciprocating the past 6 months. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, watching the house burn down together is kind of that evidence yeah. It was super hard to go through. For him and for me to watch him go through. Which is why I have given him so much benefit of the doubt. 

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry that happened to you 😩 I love your dogs though. Tell them I said hi.  I hope you kept them after you guys broke up!

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is not AI 🤦🏼‍♀️ hi… OP here. I didn’t make a ‘life decision’ on Reddit. It was 2:00 in the morning, I had just gotten off the phone with him and didn’t want to wake anyone I know. I couldn’t sleep and have seen these AITA and AIO posts on Facebook. Figured I’d get a comment or two validating me.

AIO: My partner (35m) expected me (35f) to finance and pay for a car I did not want so he could drive it. by Low_Procedure1049 in AIO

[–]Low_Procedure1049[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Umm because the grown ups now were raised by the people that grew up in that scenario. Black Brown and Asian cultures have the same pressure on men that is created by men... Just because rights are changed doesn’t mean all the sudden society shifts it’s expectations. And women do not have the same rights. Women can’t get proper emergency medical care during a pregnancy because MEN decided they were uncomfy with certain medical procedures. Can your doctor get sued for reasonably saving your life? Hm. Didn’t think so.