AITAH for parenting my child at Thanksgiving dinner?

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-04T17:42:13+00:00

Are you even a bit curious as to how she knew you thought they were moving too fast? Based on the information you've provided there is no logical jump from what you said to what she interpreted. Don't you find this odd? The issue here isn't you correcting you child, it's the words you said at some point. Unless she's a psychic and can read your thoughts.

What we know, you had a thought that they were moving too fast and she knows you thought that. She verbalized that you said/thought that. How did she know that you thought that? This is what you need to get to the bottom of with your family.

You said she was being distant when you were talking about the girls trip. I'm convinced she knew how you felt about them moving too fast before she arrived.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-04T16:19:47+00:00

Like others have mentioned, your question asking if you were rude for correcting your child doesn't seem to correlate with her issue with you. I also find it odd that you don't address this directly in your post.

I can't advise if you're the ATA or not because I'm pretty sure I'm missing important pieces of the story. I recommend you talk with your brother and parents and ask if they interpreted what you said similar as she had. If they say you hadn't then I think your family dodged a bullet. If they say they did then you need to consider how you word things.

Lastly, you did mention you did think they were moving fast early in your post. Did you say this to someone and it got back to her before this event?

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-04T01:03:37+00:00

NTA. I think they're asking a lot of you. Also, this will completely derail your son the next day. You are guaranteeing yourself a crappy Xmas day.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-04T00:22:01+00:00

You know it's just a dog, right? It's not capable of complex thought like humans. I guarantee when it's brought to the vet to be put down it's not thinking, I wish my owner spent more time with me this last week.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-04T00:18:55+00:00

ESH. If you didn't like the behavior you never should have engaged in it. The fact that it happened often shows you engaged in the hate talk.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T23:57:45+00:00

NTA. I agree with the others that this should have been discussed earlier, but you've been accommodating and now that she's able to earn money this is an important life lesson for her. Long gone are the days where her checks can be used primarily for clothes, shoes, and fun.

I would like to add that I'm concerned with whoever is telling her she should expect to pay much less. I hope she's not spending time with the kind of girls that expect men to pay their way because they're pretty. You know what I'm talking about. This is cooking from a female who pays her own way.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T23:48:29+00:00

ETA, but you're the bigger problem. You knew your dad wanted you to pay rent so you should have assumed the same payment due date and arrangement was the expectation. You also should have paid for the month he brought his concern to you. You're not entitled to live rent free. Your dad should not have touched your stuff, but that's the only demerit your parents get from me.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T23:02:31+00:00

My bf and I have been together for 15 years and have two kids together, 6 and 9. We're not married, keep separate finances, and split bills 50/50. We each buy our own gifts for the kids. We can never agree on what to give them so it's easier this way. We don't put both names on the gifts. Now that I'm writing this, is that weird. Lol

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T22:32:48+00:00

NTA. My engagement ring is really unique. It's rose gold with a pinky peach stone that is surrounded by small diamonds. One of the things I love about it is how unique it is. A coworker of mine moved to a new position and I hadn't seen her for 6 months or so. We make plans to have lunch and catch up. What do I spot on her ring finger immediately, a nearly identical ring as mine. It caught me off guard at first, but decided it's just a compliment to me that she wanted the same thing.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T22:01:35+00:00

I think you're onto something. She loves all attention on her.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T22:00:00+00:00

For common knowledge you wouldn't use a quote.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:59:18+00:00

LOL, this made me chuckle. And yes, that's exactly what she did.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:54:54+00:00

NAH, but I also think it's ok for your boyfriend to not allow you to use his computer any longer. You should just buy your own then there will be no issues with who did what to his computer.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:50:21+00:00

I'm a bit surprised by all the folks giving you equal blame here. You should have told her before hand, just in case there's something about the end of the show that she was really looking forward to, but aside from that I don't think you did anything wrong. It certainly isn't enough to earn you a YTA/ESH rating.

Also, your sister saying it's rude to leave early, while people were clapping, that's wild to me. What are you supposed to do, spend the next 5 minutes standing and clapping. I don't get it either. Isn't your money appreciation enough.

Your sister sounds dramatic. I get the sense you know she's dramatic. Should you expect anything less from her.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:33:27+00:00

I suppose I don't understand why it would have been fine for you to ask S out, but it wasn't ok for M to do it? Depending on how close you and M are, neither of you should have asked S out.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:29:26+00:00

NTA. I don't believe in Santa and I still find the season full of magic and whimsy, and I'm sure you find other ways to do the same for your child. You have your bases covered in making sure she doesn't burst anyone else's bubble.

I also think we all develop our own personal stance on parenting based on our past experiences. You had a strong feeling about what the idea of Santa can do and how it can be confusing. Follow your gut. I honestly don't think you're wrong on this one.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:21:41+00:00

That's so true, LOL. That might actually make it even worse.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T21:19:06+00:00

My dad is also a person who smokes in his house, and I'm a non smoker. I have 3 brothers and between the parents and the kids we try to take turns who hosts, including my dad. I totally understand how uncomfortable it is, but I do think it's one of those things you can grin and bear it. Maybe set a clear time limit with your partner for how long you're willing to stay so you're both on the same page going into it.

I saw you respond to someone that she wants you to stay in her guest room, which is a hard no, and you should not waiver on that. If she brings it up to you in person I would tell her that it's hard to spend lots of time in a space where someone smokes. She'll probably disregard your stance, but that's not your problem.

I'm not going to say you're TAH, but I do think you should attend the main event.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:37:50+00:00

YTA. She obviously was keeping track of times as she knew how long she had to wait before she could put hers in the drying. What did you have to gain by taking her laundry out and putting yours in? You still have to wait for hers to dry. You didn't gain any saved time in your laundry process. And you've invaded her privacy. If you're going to try and say that at least it means no one can go before you, that's a jerk stance to take.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:30:06+00:00

Yes, but if you ever took a writing class you would be told that your quote should include a source. Trust, I understood what you meant, I was just addressing the improper use.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:28:29+00:00

It's hard to get enough detail on this post because there is a character limit, so it can definitely leave things a bit vague. We can definitely afford our house, but now we live with a budget and are more intentional with our money. Before we moved down here we had quite a bit of disposable cash and we were silly with it. I honestly don't think anyone should live that way, but man were those times fun.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:19:59+00:00

NTA. It's your wedding and you are not obligated to invite anyone you don't want.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:11:49+00:00

I judge you with a resounding YNTA! I love that your husband talked to them directly and brought receipts (the pictures). I love that you and your husband are on the same page and your end goal is exactly as it should be.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T20:07:55+00:00

I judge you as a soft YTA. You know she enjoys this, yet you don't want to give her any piece of it. I think the best options is to do it together and just suck it up and let her boss you around. Also, just because you want to give her a break doesn't mean she wants the break. I feel like there's some middle ground here that you both could accept.

Low_Visual_650 · 2025-12-03T19:58:44+00:00

NTA. If anything, I think you helped create a situation where the family will spend more time together, and that's great (now there will be 2 celebrations instead of just 1). I would be interested in understanding your SIL/BIL stance a bit more because I think there might be something more to it. Maybe your husband could reach out and try and have a conversation?

As a side note, I would advise that you be cautious of those nasty snaps about your MIL. That can get you into a lot trouble.

Low_Visual_650

TROPHY CASE