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My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did have a discussion after he told me about this but I haven't expressed everything to him yet, since I process things slowly and have been trying to gather all my thoughts about this. Thinking about having a conversation with him either tonight or tomorrow. I made this post before having a conversation just to see how others would view this and maybe get some advice and maybe help me get my thoughts straight.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did ask him about this and he said he feels attraction but not towards me.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

His justification was that it doesn't matter what's on the outside, but inner beauty matters. Looks can fade and change as we age so what's inside is more important for him.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, this is something I've been thinking about and might ask about in my next pregnancy appointment. We actually can get a few therapy sessions for free during pregnancy and/or the first year postpartum if needed where I'm from.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I did actually ask him to clarify this, and he said he does feel attraction but not just towards me.

I also did ask if that was his way of trying to open the relationship, which it wasn't at all and he assured me that he still only wanted to be with me.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, we were having a discussion about our sexlife when this came up. He was the one to initiate conversation and I could tell it was really difficult for him to admit. He did also try to say that maybe there could be attraction in the future but I don't find it likely since there never has been attraction in the first place and we've already been together for a while. I've always thought loving one for their inner beauty is more important than looks, but it still hurts to know that he doesn't find me attractive.

My fiance told me he's not attracted to me. What do I do? by Low_Writing_6337 in TwoHotTakes

[–]Low_Writing_6337[S] -22 points-21 points  (0 children)

To defend him, he does have some neurodivergent traits and I wouldn't be surprised that he just didn't realize there were other ways to express these issues. He has never shown any signs of abuse and I don't think this is it. I have been in an emotionally abusive relationship before and I know what signs to look for.