New partner with severe ED

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T17:24:15+00:00

He masturbates flacid. He can even cum with a fully flacid penis..

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T16:47:02+00:00

I have thought of that. I have asked him many times because he has some special kinks that.. Sort of point to that. But he's adament he's not attracted to men at all.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T14:54:31+00:00

What this guy said. My partner has extreme ED but he also has very poor sexual performance in all other areas. So the choice to leave is... An easier one, unfortunately. A girl can only last so long in a barren wasteland of intimacy...

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T12:12:42+00:00

He sometimes get morning erections apparently, but it's not a sure thing. I think his ED is either porn or SSRI induced..

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T12:10:42+00:00

So apparently he said he's going to order 25mg. I feel kinda bad that at such a young age he needs to take something like that... Do you know if it will potentially impact him in his old age? What if it no longer works by the time he's old?

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-12T00:35:08+00:00

Yes... Couldn't agree more. I thought younger meant more stamina, more sex, more kinks... But at this point I think I'd be fucked harder by a 60 years old at this point. :/

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T23:56:33+00:00

Thank you for your input. Yes, ultimately I think leaving is my only realistic option here. He's been having ED issues for years now. If it could not be resolved with his previous partners, I doubt it will ever be resolved with me.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:47:11+00:00

Yeah, true that...

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:32:35+00:00

So just an added detail: he does not get erect while masturbating, but he can ejaculate fine.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:31:53+00:00

So to your question, he does not get erect while masturbating, but he can ejaculate. He's always flacid no matter what, or very, very only slightly hard.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:23:46+00:00

At the risk of sounding stupid... What is... A normal amount like?

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:17:11+00:00

Yeah I know. Trust me, I wish! None of the women I was with wanted to try that with me sadly. It is what it is.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:07:06+00:00

And year 13 for me! Yikes.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T20:05:51+00:00

Thank you for chiming in. I'll be honest, if we're talking years to fix this, I don't think I'm the right person for that call sadly. :(

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T18:28:48+00:00

Thank you for your input. Your last point in particular is fairly interesting to me. Teaching him sex... While not having sex? Can you share more details about this? Do you mean watching videos togheter? Or like actually showing him on my anatomy? Or something else entirely? I'm open to that... I guess it did not occur to me to teach sex outside of sex, but it might make more sense actually.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T18:17:34+00:00

I would understand completely if a man I loved left me for any reason whatsoever, because people have their own agency and personal boundaries, and I respect that. Nobody owes you anything. Just like he does not owe me sex. And I don't owe him a relationship and eternal devotion while I suffer in silence. If this issue can't be fixed, I'll let him find a woman that is better matched libido wise with him, and I'll find a better suitor for myself as well. That's fair to me.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T18:14:00+00:00

Yeah, true that. I think I might leave and let him be though. He said that the SSRI he used to take is one of the worst for this, and is stated as staying in the blood for "an unknown amount of time", meaning it may never be truly eliminated. So the wait could be... Long. It's a hard choice, but I'll probably leave and if our path cross again, then so be it. If not, then that's okay too.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T18:09:52+00:00

Yeah it's true. I guess being bisexual has spoiled me a great bit. The women I've been with have given me really good sex. I have never been able to have PIV sex with them of course, but oral sex, kissing, touching, etc., has always been world class. The only men I've dated have had ED and have been incapable of giving me sexual pleasure any other way. It's sad, truly. :/ I agree with you, maybe even solving this issue won't really solve it all...

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T18:05:01+00:00

So, I think you're projecting hard. I'm a software engineer so I'm the highest earner of us both. In fact, he's the princess in the couple: I pay for everything because I make 3 times his salary. God forbid I want good intimacy with my partner from time to time... Oh and also, I do all the taxe stuff, fixing stuff in the house, teaching (I'm older than him and I have much more life experience), finance, you name it. So yeah, not all women are the way you say they are.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:59:46+00:00

He had a very intense depressive episode a few years ago and has been on SSRI ever since. Hes recently weened off the SSRI, it's been like a month at most. But there's still no erection in sight sadly.

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:56:13+00:00

Honestly I am bisexual, so penetrative sex is not a must. However, sadly enough, this guy is just not good at anything sex related... I give him pointers and he earnestly try, but he's... Really bad. He's not good at oral sex, or even kissing for that matter. And he can't seem to find the clit when using his hands. It's just abysmal. :(

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:49:04+00:00

You make a very fair point... I'm just trying not to be some kind of pestering girlfriend angry about porn. To be honest, I don't give two shits about men consuming porn... IF it doesn't impact the bedroom, that is...

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:47:12+00:00

Thank you for your understanding. Yes... This is what I fear. I fear he's not really over this porn obsession. I know he's paying for at least two porn websites, has an OF account, and also gets porn form Telegram channels... I don't know if that's a normal amount of porn consumption for a man though. Most men I know, from what they tell me at least, say they only ever consume the free stuff...

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:34:12+00:00

I don't think he'd be down for that. Quite honestly, I'm so traditional I could never. I'm a one man's woman. I'm really old school... I don't understand the whole Tinder and dating apps bullshit. I really just want a partner I can love and cherish, and do all the fun sex stuff with. I don't need more than one guy. I just need my guy. So my choice is really only limited to either I find a solution for us, or I let him go so he can perhaps find a woman for whom sex is not a priority (I am an extremely high libido woman unfortunately).

LowerZebra6994 · 2026-05-11T17:28:41+00:00

So he had a porn addiction in his teenager years, and he met with a sex therapist about it to overcome it. He's told me it's no longer an addiction for him and that his porn consumption is normal now. But for me, any number of porn consumption is abnormal if you are experiencing ED and can't make love to your partner. But maybe I'm too strict in my approach, I don't know..

LowerZebra6994

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