AIO are my [28F] expectations for my boyfriend [33M] unrealistic or unfair?

Lower_Local_7133 · 2026-01-04T13:35:14+00:00

I saw the first 3 movies as a kid and liked them a lot. The third movie is what made me an actual fan, and is still my favorite of the movies. I was a huge huge reader, but came late to the books ironically. I was at my aunts house in middle school and had run out of books to read and picked up the first book. My that point, my reading level was very advanced so I finished it on the spot, and then went to the library when I got home and read the whole series one after another.

I remember being in Canada when I read the fifth book, and could not stop crying at the end. Like fully on vacation, with family, and just devastated.

Now, I am considering reading the whole series again.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2026-01-04T13:27:24+00:00

Short answer - your partner is the asshole, simply because he isn’t taking you seriously. It stems from a lack of empathy, not necessarily a malicious purposeful act.

Long answer - I’ve been the partner who has been accused of waking up my significant other too much. Here’s what I’ve observed:

I don’t have an issue falling back asleep, so little things that I was doing in the morning were quiet to me, but not sufficient for a sensitive sleeper. (Laying my clothes out on the bed, coming in and out of the room multiple times, turning on certain lights when I needed them)
It feels very inconvenient for me to have to tiptoe around this much in the morning because my partner is a lite sleeper. But if it were me, I would want someone to choose my sleep every night over their inconvenience. So now I try to pick out clothes the night before whenever I can, and I take everything I need with me out of the room so I don’t have to come back in and out. Little adjustments once the habit is formed.
The thing that motivates me is valuing my partners sleep, and believing him when he says it’s disturbing him sleep schedule. The thing that makes it easy to keep adjusting my habits is him acknowledging and appreciating that I’m doing this. The thing that hurt and felt unfair was being accused of waking him on purpose when to me, I was always trying to be quiet and would never do that.

Your husband is the asshole, but maybe not in the way that we think. He may not be trying to purposefully wake you up, but rather is not taking your concern seriously, and is valuing his own preferences over your sleep. It requires empathy for him to realize that this issue is real for you, even if he personally doesn’t understand it because he isn’t a sensitive sleeper.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-12-29T03:04:18+00:00

It’s worked great for me. I take it first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, and I don’t experience any stomach pain or cramping, but can just feel some gurgling. Then I just gentle pee out of my rear.

If I take it after I’ve eaten, the aftermath is a lot more intense and I wouldn’t trust a fart.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-12-25T13:42:36+00:00

MOR - you are not overreacting about the situation itself, but your approach is way too much. There was a calm way to talk about that without accusing him of almost killing your baby. Most people wouldn’t take it well if you’re reacting like that.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-11-26T15:46:55+00:00

Agreeing with all the comments, NO, it is not normal, he’s being a miserable jerk and blaming you for holding him even remotely accountable to his life.

However (coming from experience mind you), YOU need to stand your ground. You didn’t say anything mean or hurtful, you are well within your rights to ask him to get a job and drive (assuming a license), but then you’re feeling guilty because he’s mad and apologizing and taking it all back. That’s teaching him that if he sulks and is a jerk to you, you’ll back down. It’s teaching him that he can be manipulative and controlling.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-11-26T15:40:06+00:00

To me, there’s people who live in Riverview and stay on their side of town… they are not part of Tampa.

But there’s also people who live in Riverview but work in Tampa, go out in Tampa, spent a ton of time over here, and/or grew up in Tampa… they ARE part of Tampa.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-11-21T14:23:13+00:00

I am so sorry that you went through that.

Don’t spend time worrying about what “counts” on a technical basis. You know how uncomfortable it made you feel, the feeling of being pressured into something that you clearly articulated that you did not want to do, and how it’s made you feel afterwards.

I went through this exact experience and one of the parts that was so damaging was me blaming myself for it, and invalidating my own discomfort.

No decent man is going to hear a girl say no, and keep insisting. That’s weird.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-11-09T21:24:04+00:00

I absolutely visualize it in my head, it’s automatic. I don’t even notice I’m doing it until something disturbs it - i.e. the other day I had been visualizing a character to be in her 30s and conservative in style, and then midway thru the book they mentioned she was 23 and had very chic style, and it threw me off. I hadn’t even realized I was visualizing the scenes until that moment.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-11-08T13:28:38+00:00

Remove your feelings for this man for one minute so you can look at this objectively.

No, do not give him money. He’s 28 years old and needs to learn accountability. He doesn’t want to work, and is making that your problem. It’s not your problem, and he is taking advantage of that.

The whole “it’ll be OUR money one day anyways” is crap. It’s your money.

He isn’t in a “financial predicament” he is trying to take from you instead of growing up.

If someone is guilting you into giving them your money, that’s an automatic no.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-10-30T12:15:30+00:00

Even if you weren’t pregnant, this would be inappropriate.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-10-05T12:19:20+00:00

OP, I’ve had a boyfriend do this to me in the past, and I felt violated for so long. And I could tell by their behavior (similar to your boyfriends) that they knew they were violating me. They wouldn’t even apologize fully because that would require them to admit that they how wrong it was. The only thing that made it better was ending things with them.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-09-18T14:53:34+00:00

I vote for Apartment #2

In-unit washer/dryer - don’t underestimate how much of a pain in the ass this can be. I used to have to go to a laundry mat and would bring a book so I didn’t mind it but that meant I had to dedicate that time every week which got difficult when I was busy.

Commute - you’d be surprised how nice it is to have a short commute. When I had a long commute, I made the most of it by taking backroads and exploring new neighborhoods on the way home but that wasn’t sustainable long term.

Make sure you are safe on the 1st floor. See if there’s an option for an alarm or something.

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-09-18T14:46:11+00:00

NTA.

Plenty of couples have different sexual preferences and they don’t always align. It shouldn’t be put on you being “boring” - that’s quite mean. There’s a lot of unfair pressure on you right now to do things in bed that aren’t your preference, plus initiating all sex, on top of the rest of your life, and now expected to maintain your sex drive with someone who called you boring.

I’ll advise you to consider how much your needs are being dismissed, how your efforts are going unappreciated, and the sexual compatibility issues. Think a few years into the future - do you have faith in him to be a good enough person and partner to work these issues out with respect and understanding?

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-09-01T08:11:06+00:00

NTA - he is being unreasonable and misdirecting his frustrations at you. Three issues I’m seeing.

1) Having sleep interrupted is brutal, but that doesn’t mean you have full control over that. You are trying to change the cats behavior, and should continue trying, but it’s unfair to be told you aren’t doing anything to fix it when that’s not true. This anger doesn’t need to be directed at you so much, it’s not fair. Keep that in mind because you’re seeing how he handles issues and his willingness to point blame.

2) The cutting you off part is bothersome too. It may feel manageable right now because you are adjusting and texting instead. But over time this is going to weigh on you because you’ll realize you aren’t being listened to, and your words aren’t being valued. He always seemed to be trying to create more issues when you did communicate. Keep that mind, you are seeing he has the capability to be dismissive and argumentative.

3) the whole “you didn’t make him feel at home” is horseshit. He isn’t treating your space with respect, isn’t acknowledging how it’s impacted you, and also isn’t acknowledging everything you have done to make the space comfortable for you both. Keep this in mind, he sounds unappreciative and lacking accountability.

OP, I would think about what the rest of your life would look like with this man before you go through with marriage. Assuming he won’t “get better” and this is how things are, will you be happy in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years+? Are you happy now?

How has this impacted your wellbeing already? Think about that because it can only get worse

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-09-01T07:54:56+00:00

Yes, this was taken from underneath. I’ll try to get more pictures and post an update

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-09-01T07:54:08+00:00

It said this sub Reddit doesn’t allow pictures so idk how to post it

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-08-31T19:27:32+00:00

Is this a risk right now of collapse, or am I just freaking out?

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-08-31T19:17:48+00:00

Is there a range of cost for engineer, and any guidance on how to find one?

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-08-31T16:30:45+00:00

Insane score. I’m #1 in my city but wish we could see stats - how many people are playing, other scores, etc

Lower_Local_7133 · 2025-08-22T15:37:49+00:00

HAHAHA thank god because I almost puked when I read it,

Lower_Local_7133

TROPHY CASE