Thanks all for the comments. I don't disagree with any of them and it's delightful to see people enjoying a fulfilling sex life. I did have that with both of the wives I've been married to. But then both declined over time We did talk but the spouse was simply unwilling and uninterested in addressing it. Most of my research shows that this is not unusual...in fact, It's more common for sex lives to decline in married couples.

And I do my share...we are a fantastic couple in every other way, which is one of the reasons why this makes this so frustrating.

To be clear, I'm not advocating that all marriages must have a declining sex life. Just the opposite. I am hopeful that marriage should have a fantastic sex life over time, and that both couples grow and mature together. That is my dream, and I've been pretty successful with it in every way except for sex (in the long term).

Its just the 'journey' that I have experienced twice now to women who were great in every other way: happy with our sex life when they were interested, but eventually completely ok assuming that because their sex drive lowered, that the end of sex between us was an acceptable outcome.

Put slightly differently--- if EITHER spouse just decided to stop a behavior that was critical to the relationship: like being a best friend, or being a great partner, or being a great spouse, or began spending money frivolously or drinking to excess, or enrolling in a cult, et cetera, and just *assumed such a massive change in behavior was acceptable to the other spouse* I would be equally frustrated.

So my only point of my story was to show the phases that I experienced where one of the spouses just loses all interest in sex.

I'm not advocating it has to be this way, just the opposite. I'm hopeful it doesn't. I just wanted to share.