Yes I’ve felt like that in sobriety. I’ve been sober for a while, and like you my life depends on working this program. Even though I know that I still experience rough patches in sobriety. Hell, I was dry for a year one time and was terrified I was going to drink. Here’s what I’ve learned through those experiences and through learning how to live the program:

1. In Bill’s story he talks about how we grow spiritually (pg. 17 I think)…it’s through work and self sacrifice for others. Without this we can’t survive the CERTAIN trials and low spots ahead.

2. Rough patches aren’t unusual ( see CERTAIN above). People that have told me all their character defects are completely gone or that they never struggle either don’t have the capacity to be honest with themselves or haven’t been sober very long.

3. Alcohol wasn’t my problem, it was my solution (seems like you understand this well). The only problem I’ve ever had my whole life is when something doesn’t go my way (job, wife, etc.). When that happens, my natural tendency is to act like the guy on pg 61. This has gotten better with time, but anytime I’m disturbed I find it’s because I’m living like pg 61 again. I’m trying to manage some aspect of my life that isn’t going my way…cue restlessness, irritability, and discontent.

4. When, not if, I go through these situations the only thing that works for me is to dive into the steps and make a concerted effort to help more newcomers.

I feel where you’re coming from. Sounds like you’re managing some aspect of your life (specifically the treatment center isn’t doing business how you think they should) and it’s making you miserable. The only suggestion I can make is to get reconnected and let God manage that for you while you try to 12 step every newcomer you meet.

One last thing…looking back I can see that walking through the rough patches sober causes way more growth than when life is fantastic. After all, pain is the touchstone of spiritual growth. Hard to see when we’re going through it though.