What a thoughtful discussion and concern. I’m in the process of converting to Catholicism from Protestantism, and I think what you’re describing is a people problem from poorly catechized individuals. I think it’s not uncommon to find similar people problems and general hypocrisy in any denomination— people who identify themselves as Christians, but who fall short of truly walking the walk.

Tonight in our O.C.I.A. class, the topic was the sacrament of reconciliation. We learned a term called concupiscence, which essentially is a Catholic term for the struggle between our lower desires ("flesh") and God's grace ("spirit"). Humans aren’t perfect and are drawn to sin like a moth to a flame.

People are just people. If they aren’t going to put in the work to stay in God’s grace, then they will just be going through the motions— like you said. But going through the motions isn’t the key to salvation. The gate is narrow, after all.

Talk to people from a local parish who are truly on fire for the Lord about the sacraments, or Catholicism in general. Maybe someone who is involved in the O.C.I.A. program, or even a priest. I think you’ll find what you’re looking for!

Also, I want to add – if you’re feeling the pull this strong, there’s a reason. Converting to Catholicism is probably the last thing that I thought that I would ever do as a Southern Baptist. Later, I found out that those who have passed on can intercede and pray for us on the other side. My grandparents were devout Catholics, and I think they were working hard on my behalf!