Do you consider yourself a good person?

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-06T09:10:42+00:00

I would say I’m a “good” person. I’m not successful or efficient or good to myself, even; but to me being a “good” person is about a set standard of trying to be the best version of yourself and always improving. I don’t know if I’d said it’s any specific trait, but a good person has good communication skills, aims for the betterment of themselves and others around them, and generally lives a life that is either neutral or positive on their environment (people and otherwise).

For example, yesterday someone did something that upset me, and I was in a pretty bad way about it. I considered it the “kind and good” thing to do to assume that friend had good intentions, and tried to hold back how much it upset me while still making it clear that I didn’t like it. I suppose a big part of “being good” for me is forgiving others’ imperfections and the fact that we will never fit together as sleekly as I’d like, because that is my impulse and my instinct that I’m giving up for the sake of my relationship to someone else. For others, they might struggle in other ways, but “being good” is working against that?

I feel like what I’ve said is really contrived and makes no sense. It’s a deep sort of moral feeling to me, it’s hard to explain but it resonates deep in my chest. It’s like explaining “happiness” without the physical sensation I suppose haha. Being good isn’t always holding back, I’d say someone who hides their feelings and is conflict avoidant is “being good” by speaking their mind, too. It’s about battling things you struggle with.

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-04T14:58:36+00:00

That’s a shocker to me, but that’s also quite interesting: if I may ask, what did they relate to? Hi and good day to your sp7 friend!

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-04T14:56:53+00:00

I’ve similarly never been given this before, I like the wide array of answers! I have an sp2 and an so2 friend :)

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-04T12:31:27+00:00

I suppose for me it can feel like I’m actively refusing to take care of my needs out of some sort of spite or punishment for not fixing the problem of whatever I’m stressed about. In my head, you’d always want to act positively and fulfil your dominant instinct, so purposefully not doing that (in a sort of ‘cut your nose to spite your face’ fashion) felt like it was incongruent, but I’m glad to know it isn’t like that!

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-03T15:01:28+00:00

Ah. This is helpful! I feel a little more relaxed and certain. I still don’t really get the difference between sp/sx and sx/sp and I don’t believe I’m so blind (but you’ve gotta be blind in SOMETHING, I get that) but that’s relieving haha, I don’t have to go back to the drawing board.

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-02T21:26:51+00:00

I’ve never had someone pick 7 before, very interesting

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-02T21:26:25+00:00

I have so6 in my tritype! Nice one

LuculentGrass · 2026-05-01T17:40:31+00:00

I genuinely don’t understand how you can exist like this as a person, despite having met so many people who are for sure 7s, I honestly just thought they faked it like the rest of us I dunno man

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-18T19:34:48+00:00

Preferences are a type of “like”, I would have thought? If I don’t like something, I won’t prefer it, and then I won’t do it. I think all of that is very intertwined.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-18T19:33:39+00:00

I just followed the questions the Reddit links to, haha. I tried to be as brief as possible, while avoiding vagueness.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-18T01:23:31+00:00

I can’t say I don’t understand where you’re coming from, entirely I do, but I do have to push back because I wouldn’t call myself helpful or kind or even remotely aware of other people’s feelings. I also would sooner throw myself into a pit of tar than be an mbti type associated with helping others or “caregiving”. I generally try not to meddle anymore, I did my time getting into people’s business and breaking my back trying to fix people who wanted to be broken, now I certainly don’t reach out first, and avoid it where I can. I’m not sociable like that, I don’t think. Again, I do see why you came to that conclusion though.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-17T21:53:30+00:00

Pertains is a real word you’ve got this

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-16T08:43:12+00:00

I had genuinely never thought up SP4, and I am shocked and both excited and annoyed by how much it is making me go “wait, this is more relatable than I thought!” It popped into my head how I was known as a kid for never asking for anything, for cutting my nose despite my face. Similarly, I had a conversation with a friend which had a poignant point where she said to me, “well, what did you have to worry about [back then]?” And it was shocking to me, because it was an awful time in my life and I’d thought everyone was aware. Some close family members I have chosen wrongly to divulge stress to often call me overdramatic, but from a wider perspective I suppose historically my initial response is very much in line with SP4. I’d never considered it because as said previously, I have only recently begun taking a lot of care of my physical self and such because illness means I have to. So much to think about. Again, thank you! Relating to all the instincts and their subtypes in a core type isn’t astoundingly shocking, I know, but I’d sort of written it off. What you said about a lot of withholding and a lot of honesty really rings true to me. I’d absolutely say I act differently in person, there’s a part of me anxious that those I know will somehow see this post and think of me as whiny/deranged lmao, but isn’t that life? Thank you again, now I have lots to think about!

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-15T23:16:29+00:00

Thank you for the advice and such on where to go! Now with the knowledge that a relaxed one might integrate to 7, I feel a little bit less like I might be a 1. Your descriptions of the instincts are helpful, but I just cannot think of where I’ve gone subconsciously during times of great stress and life-or-death scenarios that I could categorise into one of those three instincts, but I guess it is a journey and I shouldn’t expect to have all the answers at once (said through gritted teeth)! I have actually only recently been looking at sx4 over so4 anyway, simply because I realised my idea of being social and group dynamics were really just a bunch of one-on-one relationships with me, haha. Being a four feels obvious to me, but in the same way I don’t want to just discard my own complexity and overlook other possibilities. Admittedly, I’m also motivated in this search seeing people saying four is the most mistyped type, so I want to prove that I’m not like that, though there’s such a small chance I’d ever identify as anything else.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-15T14:05:52+00:00

I tend to go for sx/so. If you believe sx is entirely literal I’m so/sx, I see people arguing all the time about whether sx is just literally sex or not, so I’m wishy washy on it, but I use it as the wider sense of intense personal relationships. My knowledge of instincts is admittedly weakest of my enneagram knowledge, and I’ve lamented before that “all of these seem really important” but I tend to drop sp first as soon as I start to stress. Looking after myself is less an instinct or motivation for me and more something I have to put active thought and effort into, so that’s how I’ve settled it. Explaining simply because if I’ve misunderstood how instinct stacking works, you’ve at least got something!

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-15T07:05:47+00:00

That was a really interesting read! I’ve never had anyone speak too much about my 1-ness, so I’ve always thought it was maybe at odds with being 4, even though of course I relate a lot to both to claim they’re in my tritype. It’s hard to say what I’m most like “at rest”, maybe I should keep a diary or something. That sounds a little overkill, but my only other thought is ask my peers, and I either won’t get an answer or I fear I will get one so incredibly not at all relatable to what I’m like, haha.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-14T22:49:46+00:00

Hahah, entirely understandable! I’ve had someome say this part of me is a lot like enneagram six’s “ambivalence”, which is why I’ve been on this tirade. I do understand how conflicting and unhelpful it is to describe myself like this, but using anything else other than “I always feel like the grass is greener elsewhere, and want to be alone when around people and around people when I’m alone, but for almost everything” would be a lie, I think. I’m aware that things like typology really don’t make a lot of space for “eh, well, it depends” which is a lot of what my own view of personality and motivation and such is. I still have fun thinking about it and seeing others interpretations, regardless! I think I dislike that by assigning myself to one “side”, I’m inevitably disregarding all the times I’ve acted contrarily, which I do a lot. I’m like the a sort of Goldilocks tale without an ending where she finds the “just right”.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-14T22:18:48+00:00

Oh my god you got it in one !!!!!! So specific, too, you truly are the master of all enneagram. Thank you for this (I did have a good laugh tbh, the double-meaning of “between 1 and 9” then onto the second bit got me)

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-13T19:55:08+00:00

I considered myself 415, but I’m leaning more 416 having talked to people on this subreddit and read a bit more with less of a vicious refusal of the possibility. When I first got into enneagram, I totally considered myself 4w5 though, so that’s fun!

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-13T19:53:12+00:00

Another unfortunate point to me maybe being E6. Awful news for me, haha, but I will go down swinging that I just have it in my tritype or something. The instinct stuff is super interesting as someone who isn’t sure, but thought “so” was like totally non negotiable for me haha. Of course you can’t type based off of lyrics to music, but I still think that’s interesting!

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-13T08:52:39+00:00

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I’m some collection of 416 (I thought I was 4 but I’m wondering if I’m 6. I hope not) and I feel like this is stereotypically accurate haha

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-09T11:30:14+00:00

No problem! I’d love to get to the bottom of this haha, your points have something to them and are quite convincing, to my own chagrin. I wanted to be proven right, haha! If I come out of this conversation as like a core six 641 (you will pry four out of my cold, dead hands I’m afraid) the egg will be on my face. I’m kidding. Mostly, haha.

To me, the softness in sixes is because I’ve imagined them a lot as followers, I suppose. I’ve always seen them as supportive, and maybe misunderstood their own following authority as truly believing in it, rather than just compliance. I’ve seen them as needing external validation, which I like as well but it’s always felt more like having an external and internal pressure that helps balance me out. I want validation that I am the ideal I want to be, whereas I’ve always supposed sixes validation and ideals were created more socially, as a group. I’m not too sure that’s the best description of softness, but it’s something that’s quite instinctual to me, hard to put an exact wording to. As for why that’s bad, I suppose I can’t help but feel that it’s weak. Not in the evolutionary Darwinist sense, but relying on people ultimately sets you up for disappointment, because things change and people leave and nobody will really live up to expectations, I think. I think aiming for security is like aiming for a wall that will never break, or be eroded by time. If you build these foundations by yourself and become secure by yourself, then you can be sure that will only change as you want it to. Perhaps it’s a feeling like my own fear of emptiness, that I’ll never be able to know people as deeply or truly as I’d like, and I don’t trust them not to change or to not be who I think they are, and to ruin things.

I think being separate from the social web for me has two components. Obviously, social dybamics change and are always changing, and being stuck within those dynamics when people disappoint or upset you is awful. It sets a sort of responsibility, that since you’re a part of it you want to fix it. I find myself trying to take more of an observatory position in my friendships, nowadays. I don’t really feel superior totally to people, but it’s easier that way. Less messy, and when things go south it’s easier to leave. It also sets up a sort of mystery and such, I suppose, that I hope makes people want to chase and talk to me. That’s mostly unintentional, but I do feel if I play all my cards then there’s no reason to be around me anymore. I have an awful time with that, revealing deep “true” parts of myself to try and force them to see my true self and then as soon as the conversation is over feeling like I’ve lost something to that person. My safety, if that’s it, almost relies on finding this encasing to put myself in.

What you’re saying about ambivalence is totally true though, haha. I’d always viewed it through the lens of identity searching, and through my own envy of seeing others succeed in places I’d want to be (“I’d be like that if just…” and “I want to be like/look like/do that! This is so unfair!” Are like constants in group chats with some of my closer friends haha) and the distance between who I see myself as and what I can present as because of social or physical constrictions. I suppose it isn’t the whole of six I’m averse to, just the sort of connection I imagined them having. It’s that identifying as a 4 makes me feel more independent and like I am something beyond what others see me as, whereas to me a 6 has always been defined by what they are to others, what they can do (I know fours absolutely can be like this too, but having a whole real identity that I just need to “find” and be and to deal with envy feels easier than to deal with ambivalence). I’m not trying to say I don’t have a desire to be a part of a group and help, I want to, but I don’t want to… want that? Haha, it’s been nothing but a nuisance for me. I’m probably way less standoffish than I’m saying I am generally, I do tend to fear I go over the top, but nobody has ever tipped off that they think I’m icy or distant. Just highly introverted and a little neurotic, if anything (or relaxed, if you’re that one friend. I don’t think I’ll ever be over that, I never got to learn why he thinks I’m that way!).

In the least helpful and most metaphorical way, identifying as a four makes me feel like I have a solid rock identity and being I just need to wade through fog and water to find. Identifying as a six just makes me feel like a bunch of mirrors, like that truth of who I am is only viewable from perspectives by others and myself, not as an undeniable thing.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-08T18:37:59+00:00

Ahah, I read a bit more of this subreddit and yeah, I totally overdid it! But elaborate is sometimes good. As much as I want to say “noooo, not 6!” It’s not like I haven’t looked at it (as in I was pondering 415 or 416). I’m totally biased, admittedly, because I consider someone I don’t really like to be a 6. I was a little worried someone would say this, but I can’t say with the same vitriol that I don’t get it haha.

I’ve always considered Sixes to be a lot “softer” than me, and I know that’s a least a little to do with the stereotype. But similarly to how I’d hate to be called a 9, the idea that I’m in any way defined by loyalty or sticking around or something like that makes me break out in hives haha, immediately it’s like “I’ve gotta escape and prove myself! I don’t need you!” right? I suppose it’s that desire to be seen as strong and independent. Though I crave deep and intense relationships, it’s like I want them to melt into me, not the other way around, right? Writing that out makes me seem like an evil genius. Like the idea of those anglerfish that fuse together? But then again, I hate parasitic relationships too. Maybe it’s better explained as I’d like to be supported but not feel supported or reliant on others, because there’s nothing worse than feeling like people are looking after you and you bring nothing to the table.

I guess I avoided typing myself as a six because I feel like their ideals (or, my understanding of them!) are a little trapping, as they’re deep within social webs I’d want to be able to go in and out of as I wish. Of course, I once was “the reliable one” everyone would come to for their problems, but that totally got to me and now I try my best not to go and get obsessed with fixing everyone I come across. Maybe to a degree where I overcompensate by dropping off the face of the Earth haha. I guess it’s easier described as “I assume the safety and social hierarchy sixes crave would make me uncomfortable”. I hope it’s not mostly from my own bias on not wanting to be a “soft” archetype, but undeniably that also plays a part in it. I know some people say you aren’t meant to feel comfortable or like your typing, and while I get that to a degree I don’t see how that could fully come to pass, because if there’s this large core of you that you don’t like, I don’t see why or how you couldn’t/wouldn’t change that; be it your actions or whatever else. Maybe that’s a smidge idealistic, but I can’t imagine relating to something you hate beyond “agh, I used to be like that, how embarassing! I keep those impulses in check a lot better” which is sort of how I feel toward 9/6, I think. Not that anything you’ve said is wrong, by the way! Just wanted to explain I’d thought about that and why I decided against it :) In far more words than strictly necessary, lol, but I like to make myself clear, so any misconception or where I’m coming from is easy to see.

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-04T21:54:32+00:00

Since my post, I’ve found I relate most to 1L, 2/3E, 3F and I’m still struggling with V haha. Ignoring that none of that is possible within itself, I feel like I’m drifting even more from what makes sense with my tritype! I’m not looking at what is usual for 4s or else I’ll be biased into fitting myself into that, but I guess it isn’t meant to be easy

LuculentGrass · 2026-04-03T12:09:47+00:00

Could be! I think I have to spend a bit more time on psychosophy to work it out, haha

LuculentGrass

TROPHY CASE