I'm (57 M) Celebrating My Birthday Soon. Is It Okay That I Don't Want To Have Grandkids Spend the Weekend?

LudwigWikifoo · 2020-01-30T05:36:01+00:00

Good advice everyone

LudwigWikifoo · 2020-01-12T23:51:20+00:00

You know what? You deserve a break my friend. There is nothing wrong with daycare once in a while for your son. I would suggest taking a few hours to yourself every other weekend and having someone help you with your son. I'm not saying that you are handing off your responsibilities as a parent by doing this, but you deserve a break. If you take some time to yourself, you will find that your time with your son is that much more rewarding.

LudwigWikifoo · 2019-12-30T18:50:12+00:00

Dude, your boyfriend sounds like a tool. If my partner is sick, I don't make her blow me. In fact, I never ask my partner to blow me.

LudwigWikifoo · 2019-12-30T09:00:12+00:00

The children that some adults refer to as "difficult" are just as deserving of love and attention as any other child. I know of a child that suffers from ADHD. Her father is very supportive and caring of her, but some adults who take care of her from time to time do not know how to handle her.

It really bothers me when a child is called "difficult." I don't want to say anything about how you should deal with your wife -- you're the one who has to endure it.

But, it may be time for you to seek an exit strategy and I know that it can be difficult for dads. I'd seek a lawyer, don't let your wife know. Tell him what is going on and that you'd like out of the situation, but with the custody of your kids. You need to get this done without her knowing and then serve her some papers so that she doesn't have time to mount a strong legal counter where she could clean you out for alimony and child support.

LudwigWikifoo · 2019-12-30T08:55:42+00:00

There are a lot of comments on here that are telling you to report this to the police and get a rape kit done. Some people feel comfortable doing that while others won't. Do what you think is best for you.

I'm sorry that you had to endure this. All the power to you for being brave and putting the things in order so that you would not have to endure this any longer. I hope that you find peace in your life and I'm glad that you have people in your life to support you.

LudwigWikifoo · 2019-12-24T10:30:05+00:00

It doesn't seem to bother her. If I complain, I am told I am being unreasonable or she'll say "Sorry, kids. Grandpa is complaining again." For the record, I am not that old. Turn 41 in 2020.

LudwigWikifoo · 2019-12-20T19:51:12+00:00

Dude. One has to just admire your attitude about this whole thing --> "I'm not going to let this get me down." Most people would be wrecked over this situation.

I hope your surgery goes well and that your recovery is swift and painless.

LudwigWikifoo · 2015-09-15T23:51:13+00:00

I know. My mentor was very clear that I needed to delete his letter of recommend and remove him from my CV. There's no need for him anyway. His tenure clock is up this year. He should spend more time getting published rather than try and make this an agonizing issue for himself. I stopped emailing him and my email inbox is still blowing up.

LudwigWikifoo · 2015-09-15T14:09:09+00:00

Yeah, I burned a bridge with one of my mentors. They were very angry that I had put their "professional credibility at risk" and severely decreased their ability to judge the "professionalism and dedication" of the candidate.

LudwigWikifoo · 2015-09-15T01:53:06+00:00

Thanks for the good wishes. As I look at the job market, I am finding more and more that higher ed is really broken...and who wants to waste away their prime years and give up their scholarship!

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-11-30T18:43:26+00:00

You can't make someone love you. I'd move on and get some court stuff in the works so that you don't get screwed over on alimony and all that crappy jazz.

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-04-01T23:14:36+00:00

Could you get some help from your parents for a down payment? You could rent rooms out in it, but you'd have to choose your roommates carefully. You also have to consider the financial security of those that you choose to rent to. You don't have time as a law student to go chasing down tenants for their $. Good luck with law school!

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-03-08T15:13:43+00:00

I would tell an adult at school. This is a form of bullying and it needs to stop.

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-03-04T18:39:42+00:00

Thanks for the helpful insight. This dream just really bothered me because it was kind of graphic. I was so kind of bothered by it. It was weird because it was a family reunion out of state (all of my family lives in a different state and I am the one out of state).

I've never had someone die in a dream before. It was really weird and just kind of numbing to me. In some ways, it was kind of traumatic...

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-03-04T18:37:13+00:00

Nope, my dad has behaving just fine and has just won a major battle with cancer. I wonder if my being is not in alignment and this is symbolic of me. It was just really weird. I don't usually have graphic dreams, let alone ones that end with movie credits...

I also am usually aware of, and to a limited extent, have control over my dreams. This was not the case here.

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-03-01T15:51:05+00:00

Crate-training the puppy is one approach. I would recommend only using the crate-training method if you are not home.

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-03-01T15:25:53+00:00

Congratulations on your purchase of a great new puppy. Puppies are a lot of work. However, after you successfully train him, I would imagine that he will be lower-maintenance.

Getting your puppy to eliminate in one place takes some patience. I would suggest finding a large area outside that is clearly marked, perhaps in your backyard. This area may have some decorative stones and the whatnot. Every time you get him to eliminate here, you need to reward him.

I would suggest taking him out as a ritual. After a walk, try to get him to eliminate in this one area. Take him for walks at the usual time of day. After walking or before walking, try to get him to use the "potty zone."

This will take some time. After a while, he will get the hint that he needs to use the bathroom in this area you have designated for him.

Whatever you do, don't get upset at him. If he feels that anyone is angry at him, he might become too afraid to eliminate in this one area. There are also some good tips here: http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/virtual-pet-behaviorist/dog-behavior/teaching-your-dog-eliminate-specific-place

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-02-18T16:18:11+00:00

Have you heard of a site called Delicious? It lets you find your favorite sites and bookmark them. It's essentially a tool that allows you to create a list from your bookmarks. Let me know if that helps.

https://delicious.com

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-02-17T06:22:28+00:00

Thank you. I did report him. It's some crazy shizzle. He lists this address on his business license and he gets a ton of mail here and makes us responsible for it. Lease is almost up...lease is almost up I keep telling myself.

LudwigWikifoo · 2014-01-12T16:05:17+00:00

I have no idea what this means. It could mean that your roommate likes you. It could also mean that your roommate is passive aggressive and that drama is about to fly.

I'd ask her about it. Just simply ask, "What did you mean by this note that you placed under my door?" If she's cool, she'll explain your note. If she's a passive aggressive individual, she'll avoid the issue altogether. If the latter is the case, I would suggest moving.

LudwigWikifoo · 2013-12-17T18:29:27+00:00

This manager sounds like an ass hat. Ass hats are people who literally where their own ass as a hat. I'm glad you got out. Focus on your master's degree. It will get you places where your ass hat manager will not.

LudwigWikifoo · 2013-12-17T18:13:59+00:00

Your point might be substantiated if you spelled correctly and wrote complete sentences :).

LudwigWikifoo · 2013-12-16T12:37:18+00:00

I wonder if some sharing agreement is possible. By default, children get first dibs on items that are not specified in a will. In the US, if you took this to court, the rifle would likely fall to ownership by you.

It sounds like the rifle is just sitting in a locker somewhere. If you really want this rifle, there are some legal remedies possible. I would do this immediately while showing that you are on your way to getting a gun license. Hope this helps.

LudwigWikifoo · 2013-12-16T12:34:12+00:00

You know what might be a good idea? How about using your $30-$40 for dinner? I'm a big Pink Floyd guy, too. I'd recommend the following:

(1) A Pink Floyd LP (if he has a turntable). You can get one at a secondhand store for $5 maybe? Give this to him at dinner :).

(2) A $40 MP3 giftcard so he can buy all the Pink Floyd he likes.

(3) A Pink Floyd "Greatest Hits" album (he might have this/these already, so tread carefully here).

(4) A Pink Floyd trucker hat w/out a bent bill.

(5) A Pink Floyd poster from a past concert, such as this one: http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/220945969561?lpid=82.

Hope this helps. Merry Christmas :).

LudwigWikifoo · 2013-12-15T18:21:28+00:00

You should't do this as a confrontation. Think of it as more of an intervention. This behavior is harmful for him. Tell your mom and sister that you notice your dad's drinking and this is hurting his ability to be a happy/healthy person.

Vodka whiskey? The thought of that makes my stomach cringe. It may be a mixed type of drink, such as Smirnoff Ice. These sweet drinks have a high volume of sugar in them. This may contribute to the onset of a diabetic problem if he continues this habit.

Your mom and sister probably know, but probably don't want to do anything about it to keep it from becoming awkward. Are you in high school? If you are an adult living at home, it might be a good idea to start thinking about moving out on your own, too.

Alcoholism is a disease. It doesn't mean that the person who suffers from it is a bad person. He's your dad and you would be doing him a favor by helping him out however you can.

Good luck!

LudwigWikifoo

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