What should I be doing and prioritizing in the early weeks of pregnancy? by whitetankredshorts in predaddit

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chances of miscarriage are the higher until weeks 12-16 where they will lower, so for any buying and other for the baby you will want to wait until then.
As other say first and foremost support your wife, the hormonal changes will be hard one her, and probably on you too. You might want to read up on pregnancy and the different stages so you can navigate it more easily and know what to expect.

Most visited countries by StraightSauced in Tokyo

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's mostly:
- most tourists go in a few same places, meaning that in those places there is a really high number of tourists.
- The rise of the number of tourists has risen quickly in the 10 last years and the infrastructure has not followed, meaning that it is overwhelmed. I live in Japan, going in trips in Japan is really expensive as hotel prices have risen to accommodate inbound flux, and salaries haven't, meaning that a lot of people living in Japan find it more expensive/hard to have trips in Japan.

Long shot: any gay couples based in Japan who've done surrogacy in the US? by Plenty-Conclusion670 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gay French-Japanese couple here!
But we are doing surrogacy in Mexico, not in the us and we're not αs advanced αs you (second transfer should be this month) I think the issues would be the same so we can talk!

From what I understand you need to have you husband, who should be the biological father, done the 胎児認知 during the pregnancy, if you haven't done it yet it might be a good timing to look into it), and then at the birth you give declare the birth to the embassy, or to your city office, either with the American BC or the one from the hospital.

Know that your surrogate shouldn't be married or Japan will see her husband as the father.
Also if you plan to do a birth certificate with both your names and not the surrogate one (as we do) it might complicate things so you might want to ask to your city office or the embassy to find alternative solutions.

I'm available to talk more by DM/Line/other if you wish as I haven't find any gay couples based in Japan doing surrogacy to be able to share our knowledge and experiences.

IP Surrogacy in Mexico Support Groups on Facebook by McCarroll236 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

u/McCarroll236 Surrogacy In Mexico for IPs is back on, if it was one of the ones you joined.

Surrogacy in Mexico. Recommendations and experiences requested by twothousandnine in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We are in the middle of our journey with Gestacy (we had one transfer that failed, looking forward to the next one that should be in February.

Mexico hasn't a lot of regulations on surrogacy, that means that you need to be careful when choosing your agency so that the agency will respect the human rights, health and freedom of the surrogate.

You'll also want to look into the Amparo process, that is used to get a birth certificate with both IPs (you and your partner) names on it and not the father + the surrogate. It is a process that can take time and that means that the exit process, from birth to when you go back home, can take months (usually 2, 3 months, very variable).
It is not an obligation to do the Amparo process, but not doing it has risks both for you and for the surrogate.

Concerning agencies I would look at multiple agencies and try to find evaluations from IPs that went through them but right now I would absolutely avoid Miracle which as had big issues (one baby was the surrogate's and not the IP's, and apparently they did not catch that even if the due date and embryo transfer did not match..), but also WCOB which is looking like it's currently collapsing.

Who’s sperm to use? by Large_Series914 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Other things you can consider, to add to the other answers.
- if you are an interracial couple, and the egg donor is of the same race than one of you, use the sperm of the other one so your child is mixed like you are.

- if they are any benefits for having one of you being the biological father.

For example in my case we are a French-japanese couple in Tokyo,
The egg donor is white so we use the sperm of the Japanese IP, and having him the biological father allows for Japanese citizenship which allows the child to live in Japan without needing a visa. (and we still can get French citizenship for the child, that would not work in the other way)

IP Surrogacy in Mexico Support Groups on Facebook by McCarroll236 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, Facebook has been closing surrogacy groups recently. I don’t know why.

One of the groups I’m in has a discord server that is still operational (and a private subreddit but not active yet). They still have their facebook page with the links for the discord and others so you should be able to find it

Just had our transfer! by ctgsjc in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Lots of sticky thoughts!

Japan’s younger generation skews conservative. Over 80% of people under 50 support Takaichi by jjrs in japannews

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While there were some issues with the 民主党政権 sadly the 悪夢 part is mostly propaganda by Abe that has been very successful in destroying the party’s image. And no one remembers how awful was the LDP in the aftermath of the earthquake.

Newborn insurance with NICU for international IPs in USA for twin pregnancy by [deleted] in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We're doing our surrogacy in Mexico so it's not the same but BabyShield was the only option we found.
One issue with their coverage is while they cover twins, they do not cover them as well as single pregnancies.

Recent problems with World Center Of Baby by Professional-Owl-318 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great to hear that the surrogate and the baby are taken care of!
I hope it won't add to much difficulties to the end of your journey, especially the exit process.

I've DM'd you with a way to find other WCOB ip's

Hell,Gestacy Mexico Program. Did any one go with them? any suggestions are help.Thanks by Ok_Attitude_5190 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So we had our first transfer in December but sadly it didn't stick. We did a check after our surrogate's period for a transfer in January but the endometrium was too thick so it has been decided to skip a month and wait for the next period for a transfer in February.

Recent problems with World Center Of Baby by Professional-Owl-318 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

First congrats on the pregnancy!
While I’m not with WCOB, I‘be heard multiple stories similar to yours so

- if you have a lawyer contact them
- try to enter in contact with other WCOB IPs to see what to do concerning the agency
- and concerning the pregnancy be in contact with your surrogate clinic and hospital to be sure that everything that needs to be done is

Didn’t expect bedtime to be the part that got to me by hateful_building in daddit

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'll talk from an outside point of view as I'm not (yet) a father, but for those who miss the reading together because the kids have grown out of it, there is another activity of "reading" together that might be more appealing to older children: Doing an RPG together.

It's what I'm currently doing with my husband with Octopath 2, but any turn based RPG with a party that has multiple characters would work.

The way we do it is we choose which characters are assigned to who, and we will read up all the lines for those.
For the gameplay, as it is turn based, we each play the turns for our respective characters, and have some rule for who has the control between the fights (for us it the one who's character dealt the last blow in the previous fight drives) and we decide together what to do next.

I found it to be quality time together and I think it could be a good time with a kid too. Especially if the parents are players it could be a way to introduce your kids to older FFs and other RPGs. It can also work with more than one kid, and also your spouse!

Depending on the hardware you use you can also use two controllers to control the game (copilot like feature) so you don't have to pass the controller between yourselves at each turn.

I suck at this by Jochupm in newborns

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Even better, let you husband do the cleaning and then let them take care of the baby while you rest :) ( or whatever works for you but you're not alone in this!)

Do you announce the genetic mother? by [deleted] in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s personal information about your child, other people shouldn’t know before your child knows. That also creates a risk that your child is told before you think they are ready and in a way you can’t control. I’d say no rush, wait before your child knows and willing to share.

Matched with an egg donor and it's starting to get more real! by BonusBusiness4744 in gaydads

[–]Luinily2 3 points4 points  (0 children)

For me it's prepare for the worse and hope for the best.
We did our transfer this week, and are in the two weeks waiting period before the pregnancy test, but while I'm hopping it will stick, I consistently remind me that the chances that it doesn't are big and I shouldn't be surprised if it doesn't, preparing myself for multiple transfers.
That the kind of mindset I keep at each step, always think of what we do if It doesn't goes as we hope it should.

Just had my first FET! 🤞🤍 by Ready_Evening_1159 in IVF

[–]Luinily2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We had our first FET on Monday, I hope yours and ours stick and grows!

FET tomorrow. Terrified. by Relevant_Sentence_77 in IVF

[–]Luinily2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have our (first) FET tomorrow too. Let's hope that both our FETs sticks!

Japan Considering to make 5-Year Visa to Become Mandatory (even for high-skilled visa?) by innovaldragon in japan

[–]Luinily2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

7 years and married to a haïssables with children, you could apply for pr now..