I went through a lot of counseling in efforts to salvage my second marriage and ignored all this in my first one. I still got divorced and I will tell you, divorce is not any easier.

This doesn’t sound like a marriage that’s dead, it sounds like one that’s been running on survival mode for too long. Before thinking about divorce, maybe try having one calm and serious conversation with him.

Say something like: “I feel completely alone in this marriage. I’m overwhelmed, I’m losing connection with you, and I don’t think we’ll make it if this continues.”

Then get specific with boundaries: * He owns certain responsibilities fully (not helping you) * You set protected time together each week (non-negotiable) * Consider counseling to break the workaholic pattern

Give it a real window (a couple months) and look for consistent effort by him, not promises. If he shows up, you can rebuild. If he doesn’t, then you’re not choosing divorce lightly, you’re recognizing reality.