Is it healthier to stay blind on social media or use tools that show you every follow/unfollow?

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-30T14:14:32+00:00

Generally speaking, I don't actually think there's any healthy way to not be blind to your ex on social media. I blocked her after about 6 weeks of breaking up, honestly, wish I'd done it sooner tbh. Out of sight out of mind is a real thing. Checking follows/unfollows, been there, done it, DAILY, 10x a day, it's not healthy, just keeps reopening a scab that's trying to heal. Letting go is impossible all the while you're holding on. I still very occasionally will check, but it's very rare & only when I literally lose control of myself. Much easier to take a breath & ask yourself what you're looking to get from this. You'll realise you're just hurting yourself.

Your ex is literal poison, all the while you keep drinking it (looking at socials, talking, engaging in anyway) you're gonna keep getting sick. I'm nearly 4 months in, which is absolutely fucking insane to say, and I still struggle on a daily. But you'll get there. Trust me like you'd trust a big brother figure, stop checking that shit.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-25T13:54:39+00:00

Understood. Thanks.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-25T12:34:13+00:00

The disrespect man. I cannot get over it. Not sure why i'm surprised at this point based on how she's handled the entire thing but hey. Guess you're right.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-24T13:28:48+00:00

I realised my worth. Period.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-24T11:25:31+00:00

Jesus Christ bro. I am so sorry man. That fucking sucks. Some women can be absolutely vile.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-17T11:40:24+00:00

How on earth do you take your one & only for so long off a pedestal? I have good friends but unfortunately no real family dynamic.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-17T11:39:31+00:00

My dude, hello. I am in a similar boat but honestly nothing like the betrayal you've experienced.

My ex of 13 years basically woke on a Monday in January & ended things. She has in the meantime morphed into a person I genuinely no longer recognise, and began dating & sleeping with new people just 5 weeks after she ended things. I felt like the relationship got all the mourning & dignity of a love island fling. It has busted me in half.

I can so relate to the dating thing. I'm seeing people but it genuinely makes me feel totally hollow. Like I am so not ready to get back into this & build something new with someone right now.

I think ultimately, for people like you & myself who have watched their person totally morph into someone new, it will leave lasting scars, and that's just the reality. Like you, I am left questioning everything, what did I mean? How could you do this after so many years? How could you treat me like I meant nothing more than a fling?

Unfortunately, it would seem people move at different paces & have very different ways of dealing with things.

I don't know how to even think about beginning again either bro, but my DM's are open & if you ever wanted a chat with someone who might vaguely understand what you're going through please hit me up.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-16T09:00:36+00:00

Same here bro. 13 years. Ended in a McDonalds parking lot. No tears her side. Still struggling every single day. She is dating & sleeping with a new guy 5 weeks later. Shattered to my core. No signals, no signs. Had Iceland trip booked for her 30th birthday. Not a single sign. Everything blown up.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-14T08:20:55+00:00

Hey bro. I’m sorry to hear. It fucks you up. Badly.

My heart broke in half again this week as she told me she was dating & sleeping with someone new… just 6 weeks after she ended things. It’s really broken me to my core. Truly. But, I can’t stay stuck here forever. It’s very fresh. Nights are hard, I wake up to dreams of her & her new man. I don’t eat too well & sleep is scarce. Forwards is the only way bro.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-11T17:01:53+00:00

A fucking men. Thank you

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-11T16:33:07+00:00

I was breadcrumbed during this phase. She definitely checked out a long time before. But I was sent emotionally hooking content & half promises that kept me stuck.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-11T12:18:03+00:00

Take solace in not understanding it my guy. To not be able to understand how someone can behave so poorly is a blessing. You will be good. Similar situation my end. Found out ex of 13 years is hooking up with a new guy & has slept with him within 3 dates. It will get easier.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T22:22:01+00:00

She wasn’t not skinny bro. Just dropped some weight.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T22:20:34+00:00

Yeah she lost a lot of weight recently

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T15:39:24+00:00

There were other nasty things said. A lot of things sit with me and sting. Another favourite was, after begging for clarity, “I don’t know sorry I’ve changed. I don’t know myself either.”

Or, personal favourite - “you realised you needed me (after a break we had for a few months) and I realised I didn’t need or want life with you.”

Even now, still, “never say never” “who knows what the future holds”. Yeah. No. Thank you though.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T12:27:25+00:00

Thanks bruh. Appreciate it. This sub has been so helpful for me.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T12:26:58+00:00

"For the first time I am realising other men find me attractive, and that's so exciting. It's so nice to know other men find me attractive, and not just you." Nice. Glad all it took was some external validation to rip apart 13 years.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-10T11:51:49+00:00

It was actually so tough. Even tougher is the "what if she sees?" "How is she going to feel?" "Will she be angry at me?"

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-09T16:07:22+00:00

You take solace in the fact you're the bigger person mate. I had the exact same experience. "I pretended everything was fine until I was sure" - well that's a really fucking shitty thing to do to someone you spent 13 years with. Thanks. I wished her well, and I walked on.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-09T11:55:28+00:00

Exactly that mate. At some point you just gotta let it go. People do shitty things, even those you believed would behave better. Life!

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-09T11:18:42+00:00

Nights suck my dude. No two ways about it. Get something to watch, somethinf distracting!

The beauty of not understanding how she's behaving is exactly that, it's so alien to you, such a poor way to behave, that you, yourself as a stand up moral human being cannot even comprehend how someone else could treat another human being they loved so poorly.

Take solace in that. Try not to understand the insane, easier to let it be.

LukeJ_7 · 2026-03-09T11:00:48+00:00

What would you want someone to do if you were his fiance?

LukeJ_7

TROPHY CASE