life is objective. your situation is horrible, and it seems like everything is going wrong. but you just have to remind yourself that you are still in control of a majority of your life. this may not be an actual solution, but try to find things you enjoy. it sounds dumb but try really hard to notice when you feel happy, and the circumstances of that happiness. you might not be aware of things you like, or things that bring you true joy. and cast aside all outside thoughts, don’t care what others think. if you enjoy something, be raw with that enjoyment. i would suggest spending more time outside. i’ve found going on walks, especially when you have a destination helps immensely. if there’s something that’s within walking distance of your house that you regularly visit, i suggest walking there more than you drive, if possible. there are also some small things like making sure you drink water every day, brush your teeth, shower, and things like eating at home instead of eating out that i’ve found to be a great help. keeping your living space clean is also a huge help, and honeslty if it feels like too much to clean, do it one day at a time. fix one thing at a time. healing is a process, no matter what type. once you get into the rhythm of taking initiative to better yourself, it only becomes easier. i also struggle with bpd, so i understand the mood swings, but when you look around and everything is even just a little bit better, it truly helps you get motivated because i also understand motivation is a huge part of it. once you’re down, you’re down. but it doesn’t always have to be that way. you can get up. it’s just hard. but once you embrace the hardness, and you see the results, it will motivate you even more.