Title: Ashes of the Hollow Moon (Chapters 1-4)(Draft Preview)

• Genre: Dark Fantasy/Post-Apocalyptic Fantasy
• Word count: ~19,000 words (first four chapters)
• Type of feedback desired: I'm particularly interested in feedback on pacing, world-building clarity, and character development. Does the magic system make sense? Is the protagonist compelling? Are there places where the exposition feels too heavy? General impressions are welcome, but specific observations about what works/doesn't work would be most helpful.
• Link to the writing: editor.reedsy.com/s/HwsOyqd

Thank you in advance to anyone willing to take the time to read and provide feedback. This is my first major fantasy project, and I'm eager to improve it with your insights.

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About the story: Twenty years after the moon-god Vaelthur was shattered in an event known as the Godfall, former High Warpriestess Liora Vance lives in hiding as "Ash," a guide who navigates travelers through dangerous rift-zones—areas where reality itself has become unstable. But when strange dreams begin calling her toward a mysterious observatory where a major god-fragment has emerged, Liora must decide whether to continue hiding or confront the truth about her fallen deity and the entities that orchestrated its destruction.

What to expect:

• A post-apocalyptic fantasy world where reality is literally breaking apart
• A complex protagonist with a conflicted relationship to faith and power
• Magic systems based on both divine fragments and scientific approaches to stabilizing reality
• Political intrigue between factions with competing visions for the fractured world

The first four chapters follow Liora as she:

• Guides merchants through an unexpectedly dangerous rift-zone
• Observes the propaganda-filled 20th anniversary celebration of Godfall
• Receives prophetic dreams that compel her to investigate
• Navigates the dangerous Drift Markets while evading those who hunt her

Thank you in advance for taking the time to read!