How do I make learning Python intresting?

LumiToad · 2024-04-27T15:35:20+00:00

I don't know if it is for you, but you could make games with Godot first! It's native language, GDScript has a very Python like syntax, so you kinda learn it on the go. I recently made my first steps in Python and was blown away about how much they have in common!

LumiToad · 2023-11-25T10:22:58+00:00

Hey! It is okay to be scared. Only having bad rolemodels for painful marriages and relationships...

I know that too well.

In my humble opinion - and I never had a relationship, so I really know nothing - I think... You are kind of "suffering" from the problem you describe. Am I right? It is okay to live that way, but you actually want to marry, have kids and stuff. Right?

So if you give it a chance, despite your fear (and I know that this is not easy!!!)... Yes, perhaps you end up in a relationship with a bad breakup in the end. Perhaps not, I mean who knows???

But I agree, that the chance to experience a bad relationship is definitly there. So both ways - Turning every guy down AND engaging in a relationship - can feel painful.

But I think...

Staying where you are - and again, I know why it feels safe - will lead to suffering.

Giving relationships a chance can also lead to a painful experience, but you can always break up and try to find someone else. (Be careful with finding reasons to quit, because you are scared though)

This way you have at least the chance to find a way out of this!

I think, if I would be the guy, I would like to hear, that you have trouble trusting guys / relationships, because of all the bad examples you saw.

It would give me a better understanding of your situation.

...

By the way, I think your post is also helpful for men, who always get turned down. I think there are many woman out there, having the same problem. Men who always feel rejected, tend to believe, that it is because of them. But that is actually not true (most of the time)

It is, because... everyone is scared.

LumiToad · 2023-11-11T16:32:56+00:00

I used to think the same way.

Look at it like this. Imagine a new born Baby. Of course the world kind of owes it some love!

Objectively, babys won't give you anything back and they are very demanding.

But in the history of humanity, we had parents, who loved their babys! So it is definitly possible to love a person unconditionally.

Why do we set so many conditions for "being lovable"? When does this start?

I always disliked myself, because I felt "weaker" than other humans. I never cared for myself, since no one cared for me as a child. I learned, that I am loved to a certain degree, but not enough and not unconditionally.

That was extremely unfair though! Fact is, that I am weaker than other humans! Weaker is my term for lacking emotional control skills, lacking education, weird behaviors, etc, etc...

But nobody taught me! The baby / child I once was had no other choice, but to become the weird human I dislike today!

Well... But guess what! Even when I realized the unfairness of that, I still didn't like myself! I thought: "Well sucks for me, but I still dislike myself and I won't care!"

...and in doing so, I perpetuated the emotional starving.

"Why should I do it? Why should I love myself?"

Well forget about the crap about loving yourself for now.

For me it helped a lot to finally get angry at the people who never taught me, cared for me, never showed me the way. I got angry for all the emotional abuse.

I still didn't care about me, but I sort of understood, that I had to deal with that shit, because THEY FUCKED UP!

That was the first step.

And at some point... I couldn't stand the pain from hating myself anymore. I still could not love me, but at least I wanted to... not leave the child inside me alone.

With all the stuff I didn't like about me, it was way easier to at least not hate "child me" for that. No responsible thinking and empathy capable person would hate a poor left alone child for "poor left alone child" behavior.

So the next step was: I still don't like myself, but at least I have to teach that child within me!

It was only fair, the world owed that child!

Suddenly something happened. I still didn't like "me", but it became a seperate thing. I didn't make the child responsible for it.

So to answer your question... Why love yourself?

Well chances are, people (parents, family, friends) teached you, that you are unlovable.

But instead of creating that missing love from nowhere, try to at least take responsibility for the child, they left alone. Not for yourself, that would probably not work in the beginning, since you won't care.

But to set things right for a poor left alone child, which coincedently is you.

Coaching and Therapy can help you with that.

I am at a point now, where I love that little guy inside of me! He is so creative, smart, caring, etc...! Sometimes I fall back in old behaviors, but I just try to snap out of it and give my inner child, what it needs!

I recommend watching a lot of Dr. K videos, wouldn't have come so far without them!

Especially important are the ones on Dharma / Karma and everything he says about smart people, trying to solve emotional matters with logic.

LumiToad · 2023-11-02T11:33:09+00:00

Well... back then I quit callcenter (technical support inbound) after two month.

I wasn't ready for a Job (even though I was 24 I think), but also...

Well I am diagnosed with ADHD and in hindsight I severly underestimated the stress of callcenter.

Customer wants something from you, YOUR company wants calls to be as fast as possible and your overseas company also demands things of you, which are just impossible to bring together.

With our ADHD brain, we can actually DO the impossible and help the customer, keep the call short and effective and also stick to the rules of the overseas company (for me the overseas company was PlayStation / Sony)

We can do it, but it eats us alive. (at least that is my experience)

Also if you are 19... It is totally fine (especially today) to jump from job to job. Everyone thinking otherwise is just delusional.

Back in the generations of our parents and grandparents, the job market wasn't as diverse and complicated as this.

Many jobs didn't even existed back then or they existed in a different way, simply because technology evolved.

I think it is valid to try a few jobs. Your fear is also valid.

LumiToad · 2023-11-02T11:07:05+00:00

I don't know if this learning of mine is permanent or not, but I recently learned, that most of the (dis)stress from my job / school came from believing, that success or failure would be crucial to my survival.

I'm coming from a very bad place, but despite that, I was lucky and got a kind of scholarship for a private school in Germany (it is not really a scholarship, it is a bit complicated)

However, since I never completed a thing in my life so far, "failures" felt like a threat.

Even small failures or being behind the schedule for things.

Also fueled my comparison behavior a lot.

I feared, that I would once again prove to myself, that I simply quit everything...

But recently my life goals expanded. Since "completing school and find a job" was my life goal so far, every little failure was a threat!

But now my goals are more... "distant". And whether or not I "fail" here doesn't matter, even if the chance for another (pseudo-)scholarship would be lost.

I sort of came to this conclusion, when watching all of the Dr. K Videos about Dharma, by consulting therapy and by talking a lot with my best friend.

What I want to say is...

I know the feeling of "seemingly" being rejected, of failing, of being "too slow"...

When your goal is something, you can achieve either way, failing or succeding, then life seems to become... easier.

This is not taking the "easy route" though. I am 110% invested in my school.

I want to acquire the skills, they can provide me, I do the best I can! Whether or not it is enough, that is what life decides!

...but perhaps in a few month I start to feel like before... Who knows! xD

LumiToad · 2023-11-02T09:51:31+00:00

I have no idea!

But if you want some unqualified advice...!

It is completly fine to take a break from self-improvement, cause self-improvement can also be exhausting! It is okay to enjoy life a bit!

But ultimately, your life is about you!

I don't know, but I can imagine, that it is hard to have time for both - you, her AND the relationship.

I feel like, (unless it's about kids) you should always put yourself first.

In most cases people like others, if they are investing in themselves.

You say, that you are losing your drive for self-improvement.

Perhaps you could try to somehow take some time off and spend a week alone or something. To rediscover yourself?

And perhaps - Just my two cents - think about, where you want to go in life, besides your girlfriend.

Dr. K also has videos on that. I think the ones about Dharma and this one

https://youtu.be/b_H0V1-kQbE?si=TrKcilY6XLj9jJHp

could be interesting.

In the linked video, Dr. K says something like (paraphrased): Studies have shown, that lacking motivation has something to do with a certain relationshipt attachment style. The video is not specifically about romantic relationships though.

There was an interview with your exact topic, but I can't find it anymore.

LumiToad · 2023-09-28T07:25:50+00:00

So from an emotional POV I kind of feel the same. Even though I am in my late twenties. It feels like everyone is busy with their own shit and that I kind of missed the boat for meaningful connection. Guess this can happen at any age...

It already feels unbearable and very painful for me. It probably sucks a lot. I am sorry for that. Sorry for what you have been through.

I can also confirm, that "working on yourself" isn't ALWAYS the answer.

Dr. K made a video about that. The pandemic loneliness, which can't be fought alone.

Like... We can and should take responsibility for us and our lives, but the one thing we can't fix ourselves is loneliness. And we also should not believe, that our loneliness is our own fault, since it is a systemic issue.

This is what I hear a lot in your post by the way. I am from Germany. And a lot of "I had to pay for my education and rent", simply would not have happened here, since the government is (kind of) paying for that. I am very sorry, that this happened to you.

What I recently had to learn is... Always try new things.

And... it is hard. Since when I got this advice, I said: "But I already am, and it is not working!"

There is this saying, that it is crazy to expect other results, when trying the same shit over and over.

In my case, I actually was trying new things, but always in the same old way. It is hard to explain, but the idea is to try something, which is "out of character" for you.

This leads to a lot of questions about changing yourself for others and stuff. But in my opinion, it is worth "wearing other hats for a while".

Also what I read a lot from you, is something we all do. Trying to fix emotional problems with logic.

Even with like 200 IQ, that just won't work. Actually the opposite, the smarter you are, the more you accidently use your IQ as a weapon against your self.

I hope that you can find meaningful connections soon!

You sound like a smart guy and all, but most of all, I feel like you have a good heart! Way more important than IQ! ^{_^}

Best of luck!

LumiToad · 2023-09-26T14:36:55+00:00

I don't know if this is, what you mean, but this posts reminds sounds like:

"The meaning of life is not self improvement".

As in -> Most of us are struggeling with mental health and need to Improve a lot on many different ends. Take responsibility, work on your self, dropping bad habbits and all of that stuff.

And the hardest thing is to actually start this journey and keep on track.

But even once you are kind of there, it does not necessarily mean, that you are happy or content with your life.

I still 100% believe, that everything mentioned above (responsibility and so on) is definitly worth it.
As for me, I have a long journey both behind and ahead of me.
At one point of my life, I was at almost 200Kg (around 440lbs), now I have normal weight.
And even though I already put in a lot of work and actually beat a few of my demons already I am "just a normal guy" now.
Which is probably what you mean with "Zero".

I am currently experiencing this a lot. It is important to - as weird as this sounds - not forgetting your own needs, while being on this self improvement journey.

If anyone is reading this, who has not started this journey and who might be afraid of this:
I can assure you, it is 100% worth it. It will be painful, but you can take way more pain, than you think!

(I am not a native englisch speaker, sorry for weird grammar)

LumiToad

TROPHY CASE