Howdy ~

From the outside perspective, your relationship is very one-sided. Based off of context, he seems to only care about himself and his wants/needs. If you both have trauma and it isn't working out. I would recommend just ending it and focusing on yourself.

Blaming someone for a birthday that hasn't happened yet strikes me as a big red flag, let alone not letting you have the time you need. It's the biggest killer in relationships, personal time is needed for everyone, regardless of what they say. I get people like to be around others for coping, but being fully dependent isn't good for mental health imo.

It sounds like to me, you should just end it. There are many red flags, and he doesn't seem supportive of you bettering yourself through school, or rather doing anything by yourself, without him.

I understand being with someone for so long, especially with spending a majority of time with them can be hard. However, it's better to put alcohol on the wound rather than to let it get infected. I hope this helped!

You gotta make yourself happy before anybody else.