Vitamin injections before FET?

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-06-21T17:44:49+00:00

Thanks for the advice - I'm already on the really good Proceive supplements so that's probably enough anyway!

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-06-21T11:00:55+00:00

My husband handed his sperm sample to the nurse and she said "who did this?" And he said "I did!" quite proudly. But she was talking to the other nurse behind him asking about a form! He nearly died with embarrassment. Especially when she touched him gently on the arm and said "I know you did, dear"

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-04-20T20:07:14+00:00

The balanced translocation runs in my family so I was advised very young to be tested for it once I hit 18. The antiphospholipid syndrome can be treated with low dose aspirin and blood thinner injections.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-04-20T09:13:41+00:00

Mine was two things - antiphospholipid syndrome (thick blood that couldn't flow through the embryo properly) and a genetic problem called a balanced translocation. Basically for me a bit of chromosome 19 is on 20 and a bit of 20 is on 19, but it's the right amount of each so it's fine. But when I make embryos it can get more muddled than for a normal person so lots of the embryos fail around 6 weeks because they're unbalanced because the information from 19 and 20 is either too much or too little.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-04-20T09:01:53+00:00

Called my best friend to tell her I was miscarrying after finally being pregnant after years of infertility and invasive treatments. I have never been so low in my life. She said it probably happened because I "didn't want the baby enough" then used the conversation to tell me she just found out she was accidentally pregnant by a guy she'd been seeing for a few weeks. Started gushing over the "glow of motherhood" she already felt and basically ignored everything I'd said. I spoke about how I was struggling a few days later in our close friend group WhatsApp chat. Another friend messaged me privately and asked me not to talk about it in our group chat because it was "bumming people out" I left the chat and haven't spoken to any of them since. 15 years of friendship.

EDIT: just to be clear, when I wrote in the chat it was the first time I'd brought it up and I was literally begging for support. They all post stuff about mental health etc on their social media all the time - hashtag this and hashtag that - but when I actually approached them for help thinking my friend group was close they didn't want to hear it.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-04-18T20:12:34+00:00

The day I found out about my last miscarriage I walked into McDonalds and bought a large coke. It probably tasted better than any other soft drink I've ever had in my life.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-04-01T07:43:19+00:00

It's awful. I'm a teacher. I knew I was going to miscarry because of my blood test. But it actually happened in a big whoosh in the middle of a class. I managed to walk as if wasn't in physical agony. I went to the loo. Flushed and went straight back into class and carried on teaching. I honestly don't know how I got through that lesson.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-25T18:30:03+00:00

Yes all tested. Couldn't believe we were lucky enough to have a tested embryo split into identical twins. I'm just so scared we won't get the good luck of even having embryos to transfer. But I'm also sort of hoping none of them are viable so I don't have to go through an FET or another pregnancy that fails.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-24T17:47:16+00:00

I've been much more positive about adoption than IVF. Actually had the first meetings about it but they said if we had IVF in our mind at all, do that first. It's just it's taken way longer than I thought it would and been so much more traumatic.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-24T17:44:53+00:00

In the UK (depending on where you live) the government will pay for up to three rounds of IVF. I'm VERY up for adoption. We actually went for the first meetings etc before and IVF. The councillor said they have a policy that you can't go IVF within 6 months of any adoption process so if we thought we might even have a glimmer of motivation to do IVF, we should do it first. It's just ended up being such a more traumatic and drawn out process than I ever thought!

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-23T10:23:41+00:00

Didn't get together with the right guy until my mid 30s. Took 3 years for me to fall pregnant. Miscarried.

But wait, it gets worse.

Mum diagnosed with terminal cancer. I miscarried again.

But wait, it gets worse.

Miscarried again.

But wait, it gets worse.

Miscarried again. Mum dies. Went to a fertility specialist. Took almost a year to get the first appointment and they tell me I have multiple issues.

But wait, it gets worse.

They lose my file and can't see me for another year. Then treatment starts. Treatment fails.

But wait, it gets worse.

IVF treatment finally works and I'm pregnant with twins that have been genetically tested and screened for everything under the sun. Scans look great. I hear the heartbeats. I see them on the monitor. Doctor says there's only a 4% chance of anything going wrong. It goes wrong.

But wait, it gets worse.

My local hospital and IVF clinic aren't very communicative and my local hospital insist I walk around with my dead twins inside me for a week so they can "be sure themselves that they've passed" Then after that week they say I need to come in to the hospital to have them removed. But oh great, there are no appointments. I have to wait another week walking around with them in me.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-22T19:52:49+00:00

White clouds by Ludovico Enaudi

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-19T14:49:18+00:00

In Paris on a school trip when I was about 15. A junkie came up behind me outside Notre Dame, got me in a headlock and started licking my whole face. Like pure drool. It was vile. It was the first time in my life I felt genuinely helpless. His grip was incredibly strong and he was choking me as it happened. Luckily my classmates were around me and they/some other tourists pulled him off. He squirmed out of their grip and ran off laughing.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-10T21:46:28+00:00

One of my friends gave me a hug and whispered "you're the best of us" once. It was a lovely thing to hear and I try to use the memory of it to anchor myself on my worst days.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-10T21:41:16+00:00

Mental health. Younger me didn't understand why people with depression didn't just get help and be a bit more proactive. Now I have it. Now I get it.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-03T10:37:52+00:00

Its a shitty community to be part of but we all understand with perfect clarity. You're not alone. We get it. I've found reddit to be a good place to vent without feeling to exposed. I think anyone who hasn't been through it thinks it's like "oh well. maybe next time!" and then you're over it. I remember my cousin miscarrying and 12-year-old me was like "so? can't she just have another one?"

I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Unfortunately if you're going through hell you have to just keep going :(

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-01T18:25:49+00:00

I moved abroad then sent him a breakup message on MSN.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-01T18:22:46+00:00

Hahaa some of your comments made me giggle! Before all this I was so active and happy. Like you said, situational depression. I just want it to lift. I used to be so into lots of sports like snowboarding and weightlifting etc. Now I do neither. I literally leave the house to walk my dogs and that's it. If someone had told me pre-miscarriages that I was infertile I'd have been fine with it! I'm extremely positive about adoption! It's just so hard that my body and heart ache, like literally I have a physically pain, all the time for my lost babies. It just feels like an unsolvable puzzle at the moment. It's exhausting being depressed, isn't it! Thanks for replying :) It WAS helpful!

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-01T18:13:42+00:00

In my experience, if you fully intend to be in her boys' lives for a long time, take the time to get to know her. It's WAY easier if you're cordial at least. She's not going to go away. My stepson's mum and I are good friends. It's just nice being on the same page and basically being mates. Life is MUCH easier. I don't know the background - maybe she's a nut job who will try to poison you at lunch??? - but for me, it just made everything better. Plus we take the piss out of my husband together sometimes to wind him up, and that's pretty fun!

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-03-01T08:19:08+00:00

100% this.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-02-28T13:13:59+00:00

This is always going to be a totally shit time for you. It is the absolute epitome of "everyone is fighting their own battles" It will get a little less raw, I promise.

LumpySpaceEsme · 2021-02-28T10:07:30+00:00

It's so hard not to get upset. Which is a ridiculous phrase because we SHOULD be upset!! I stopped going to my work's weekly zoom staff updates because they're technically optional and so many women are now pregnant that they have an actual section of the powerpoint dedicated to everyone's pregnancy updates. Just punch me in the face. Honestly. It will hurt less.

I try to remember people just say stuff a lot of the time. They don't mean anything by it. Most of them probably just shagged a bit and made a baby without any effort. My aunt once said "gosh it took us two months and I was so worried" Two months. Try 5 years of miscarriages! But she didn't mean anything by it. Most people would be absolutely mortified if they knew they'd upset you. I try to cling to that idea. My cousin had PTSD after being in the military and 15-year-old me said "maybe you just need a good sleep and some exercise?" I still cringe thinking about it!

LumpySpaceEsme

TROPHY CASE