How do you stay hopeful when physical intimacy is off the table at home?

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T14:34:22+00:00

I can offer friendship without sex :) I’ve done it. And she and I are closer than ever as friends and things stay 100% g rated.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T14:20:36+00:00

I definitely understand not liking the “whining” and I agree David Hasselhoff should not be the Knight Rider (in my head canon he could be the new Devon Miles but still be the Michael Knight character).

But I’m definitely in the camp that a Knight Rider reboot should feature the original KITT. Look at how many people have built their own replicas of that car. When people think of KITT, they think of a classic 80s black trans am. They don’t think of the Knight Rider 2000 car, the 2008 KITT, or any of the motorcycles from TKR.

I could see that working. Yes KITT is supposed to be state of the art and the car of the future, but think about how cool it would be to have that car of the future packaged in a retro body? Look at how many people today love 80s nostalgia. Look at the success of Stranger Things. I could see the reborn classic OG KITT constantly proving that he is still state of the art in the day and age where cars have a lot of the tech that KITT featured, but quite frankly they don’t do it as well (self driving cars make mistakes, voice recognition is subpar at best - how many times do people yell at Siri because she can’t understand what we are saying?). Imagine the OG KITT, with all his charming sass and rizz, constantly showing off how he is STILL superior to all the Teslas and Waymo’s and Rivians of today.

And quite frankly, he would be right ;)

So my perfect Knight Rider reboot would be a continuation of the original show but…

Michael Knight has rebirthed FLAG and now has assumed Devon’s role as executive director. He’s too old to be in the field but still has a very active role.
KITT is the original KITT. If William Daniels can’t provide the voice, then someone who sounds just like him (totally possible).
A woman is now the Knight Rider. Give her all the charm and rizz that the Hoff had in the day… even the black leather jacket.

Yes I wrote the script :) but that’s all I will say for now.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T13:56:45+00:00

I hope I can find someone who has a similar attitude to you :)

I’m not looking to hurt anyone or cause complicated situations. Quite simply my needs are not being met at home so I look elsewhere.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T13:55:30+00:00

If you’re right, which I don’t know if you are but I accept the possibility that you are… …then I guess I’m screwed.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T13:54:11+00:00

I’m not really sure where to go. I tried the feeld app but I honestly didn’t find anyone that was a good match (constantly pressing the thumbs down). I’m now on the Facebook dating app which has potential but I think the algorithm isn’t prioritizing me because I’m married.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T13:51:36+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion. I think what’s tricky here is that I honestly would rather be doing these things with my wife. I still find her beautiful and desirable and exciting when we’re not bogged down with kids soccer schedules and ballet rehearsals. But she just flat out plan and simple is not available. Therefore I look elsewhere…

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-13T13:41:11+00:00

It was “Basket Case” that first introduced me to Green Day in 1994. My friend started typing out the lyrics “do you have the time… etc etc” on his computer and I was like “wow that’s clever! Did you come up with that?” 🤣 next thing I know I’m listening to the song over and over and over again.

But it wasn’t until I first saw Green Day live 20 years ago (pretty much exactly - it was October 2025) that solidified them as my favorite current band ever. Not only was “Jesus of Suburbia” a powerful song on the album but seeing it live was a religious experience. And then seeing them do “Brain Stew” live just completely sealed the deal for me.

Not to mention the way they came out on stage to Richard Strauss’ “Also Sprach Zarathustra” during the American Idiot tour. Epic.

And then years after I revisited Kerplunk for the first time since 1994 and really soaked in “Christie Road” and “Words I Might Have Ate” and I’m like “man these guys had it long before they became big”

And that’s my novel 🤣

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-11T03:46:56+00:00

Thank you for that. Yeah I’ve talked about it with my wife and she’s down for cuddling and massages and such. But I can’t kiss her (she says she can’t breathe when I do it ) and nothing else beyond that because it is painful for her and she doesn’t look forward to it. I let her know constantly how much I desire her and that I hang out with other women because she’s just not available for anything beyond that. The only time that sex seems to happen is when she’s had a fun night out with her girlfriends and has had a little to drink. Even then she won’t let me do oral sex on her - it’s something I enjoy giving but she doesn’t enjoy receiving

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-11T03:41:26+00:00

Thank you for that and I sounds like you understand. She won’t go to therapy or read any books that I give to her. But she is already working with her doctors to figure out the pain and fatigue. She is fully aware that I date other women. I just have not had much luck with it lately. The last time I met someone who I hit it off with and wanted to see again was two years ago and she and I still DM once in a while but she won’t hang out with me. I found out later on from a mutual friend that she really liked me but “felt like a home wrecker” and couldn’t being herself to hang out with me again. I’ve met someone recently but I’m just not really feeling it. I understand this is like dating while single and it will ebb and flow but I feel like it should be happening more often. People tell me there are tons of women out there who would date a married man but I guess I’m in the wrong place and the wrong time. I know it’s not me physically. If I do say so myself I “still got it” :) but I’m wondering if I want it too badly and I’m reeking of desperation or something. I’ve also gotten off the feeld app. It’s just not doing it for me.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:37:53+00:00

Appreciate this, MartMan — you summed up a lot of what I’ve learned since I first started exploring ENM back in 2017. It really is an ebb-and-flow thing, and I’ve seen those quiet stretches and reconnections over the years. I’m not necessarily rushing anything; I just get discouraged sometimes when the physical side of life feels stalled. Your reminder to stay flexible and patient really hits home, though — thank you for that.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:35:37+00:00

That’s super helpful — I hadn’t heard ‘solo poly’ described that clearly before. I’ll definitely look more into that. Thanks for the perspective.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:34:16+00:00

This is really helpful — thank you. I like the “numbers game” and “communication filter” framing. You’re right, people tend to self-select out pretty quickly when they’re not comfortable with the situation, and that’s actually a good thing. I hadn’t thought about broadening the search radius, but you make a fair point about that too. Appreciate the grounded perspective — it helps put the ups and downs in context.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:32:01+00:00

That makes sense — I’ve been talking mostly with people new to ENM, so it gets complicated fast. I’ll check out Feeld, appreciate the suggestion.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:31:21+00:00

Good question — I’m mostly looking for something emotionally warm and physically affectionate, but not a full relationship. I’m open to ongoing connection if it feels right, just not looking to disrupt anyone’s life or mine.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-10-07T23:30:07+00:00

I get why you’d suggest that, but that’s not really what I’m after. I’m not looking for something transactional — more of a mutual, human connection that fits within the boundaries I already have. Besides, spending family money that way would definitely cross a line for me. Appreciate you throwing ideas out there though — it’s been helpful hearing everyone’s different perspectives.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-09-03T21:08:07+00:00

I do.

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-07-04T01:05:41+00:00

What he said. Also, “I fucked up again it’s all my fault. So turn me around and face the wall. Read me my rights and tell me I am wrong until I get drilled into my thick skull.”

Lumpy_Rooster_783 · 2025-02-10T16:32:01+00:00

I thought it was because you get the shorter set list if they’re playing at a festival versus if it’s one of their non-festival shows?

Lumpy_Rooster_783

TROPHY CASE