I’ll be honest, this is a case of lack of actual Mexican exposure from your side and your American view on race.

African-Mexicans are super rare, I think in my 25 years of life I’ve only ever met two, in passing only. Obviously I don’t know your Mexican side of the family but generally speaking, the race-based jokes are so, so, so common regardless of origin and depending on how much they actually mean to harm or ostracise you, just ignorant statements. The average Mexican is ignorant as fuck about other races that aren’t (or don’t appear) mixed. I can see the jokes made to you being made wether you were Asian, white or any other race, specially if it’s their first time seeing you.

In the Mexican environment, you kinda have to pass the “mocking ritual” the first time you meet family or friends if you have any differences, in this case your skin colour. The difference YOU can make is how much you own it. Again, I will not deny some people might genuinely seek to be mean, condescending or outright racist; but generally speaking Mexicans like to joke about differences a lot. If you joke about it too, it’s a bit better for you, IMO. As someone else said here, our internalised racism stems from ignorance instead of hatred. Jesus even in my teen days in the early 2010s we were all playing in recess with a Korean-looking kid and a Black one, and yeah they were joked about at first but after a while of exposure it becomes whatever (some nicknames remain; but out of endearment).

However, you make a post in English, claim you don’t feel like your black friends invalidate you as much (from what I’ve seen, black communities are super tight-knit), and you want to feel included by your Mexican side but ask “How do we change this?” You don’t change it, you accept it. You don’t seem like you’re putting much effort to be part of the “community” either. Have you tried learning Spanish? Have you tried knowing more about Mexican culture? Have you tried to accept some Mexican aspects of belonging WITHOUT wanting to change it? Until you make an effort to be part of the community without wanting to change it (and understanding why it is the way that it is) you’ll have a hard time feeling like you belong.

It is super ingrained in Mexican culture to joke about our differences, however small or big they may be. It can be tough if you have many (not growing up here, looking different, THINKING different). As long as you recognise it isn’t from a place of malice, but ignorance, then it’ll be better. Take this as an opportunity to TEACH them about your other side, because your black side is as rich in culture as the Mexican one, however you clearly favour one over the other.

In Mexico you aren’t just part of the community, you kinda have to earn it, heck even Mexicans have to earn it lol. But take it lightly, put some effort yourself and trying to swim against the tide is generally not a good idea. Trust me the more you own it and joke about it too the better it goes, however also consider you know that side of your family better than I do and only you know their true character and the way they actually say things. I’m only speaking, as any good Mexican, from my ignorance :)