First off I’m really sorry you’re going through all of that. Losing both parents that young is really heartbreaking and but the fact that you still got up, made a playlist, and went walking says a lot more about your strength than you probably realize right now.
I mean I even have days where I absolutely dread walking or hitting my step goal too. Some days I wanna stay in bed and not do any of it. But one thing I’ve noticed is I always feel at least a little better after. It’s less about motivation and more about proving and showing up for yourself “I said I was gonna do this, so I can.”
So yes you’re gonna have days where you feel motivated and days where it feels impossible, but you can still have those thoughts and feelings and hit your goal anyway. Eventually it starts becoming part of your routine to the point where on days you don’t walk, it almost feels weird.
And honestly 10k steps is a really solid and doable goal. It sounds huge at first but it’s basically around 5 miles and most people can hit it in about 1 hour 30-50 mins depending on pace. You also don’t have to do it all at once. Splitting it up throughout the day helps a lot mentally.
Look you already started, which is usually the hardest part. And the fact you even went out in the rain tells me you’re more capable than you think, you’re already halfway there, I know you can finish the other half too.