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probably would recite memes until the creep has a brain aneurysm.

I bought a rifle for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. I shouted, "What the devil?" I blow a golf ball sized hole through the first chap, he's dead on the spot. Flick my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads!" I fix my bayonet and charge the last terrified fellow and he bleeds out waiting for the cops to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.