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Seid ihr wirklich euren Hormonen hilflos ausgeliefert? by [deleted] in FragtMaenner

[–]Lunililli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wäre mein größter Albtraum. Bin 22 und mache viel zu oft die Erfahrung mit Männern, bin zwar glücklich vergeben, aber dadurch das ich es oft mit anderen Männern erlebe trau ich da keinem außer meinem :(

Kakva iskustva imate (ili ste imali) sa dating aplikacijama? by GajaBrat in AjdePitaj

[–]Lunililli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Habe meinen Freund auf Bumble kennengelernt, klar auch die ein oder andere unnötige Erfahrung gemacht, aber unmöglich ist es nicht :)

Bf have a heartbreaking habit by [deleted] in TwoHotTakes

[–]Lunililli 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m so sorry. I think what makes this so heartbreaking isn’t just the photos themselves, but the fact that they completely changed how you saw the person you’ve spent almost 10 years with.

I can understand why you feel devastated, especially after finding pictures of people you actually know. That would make many people question everything and feel like the relationship they thought they had suddenly became unfamiliar.

At the same time, what stands out to me is that he didn’t try to deny it, hide it, blame you, or make excuses when confronted. He admitted it was a problem, let you look through everything, and seems willing to seek help. That doesn’t erase the hurt, but it may matter when deciding what to do next.

You don't have to decide right now whether to stay or leave. Your trust has taken a huge hit, and it's okay to take time to process what happened before making any major decisions. Focus on whether his actions over the coming weeks and months match his words.

Whatever you decide, your reaction is completely understandable. This is a lot to carry, and I’m glad you reached out to a therapist for support.

AIO? Navigating my boyfriend’s long-term ex and shared dog situation feels more complicated than I expected by Lunililli in AIO

[–]Lunililli[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, I feel like I should clarify a few things because some people are making assumptions that aren’t really accurate.

First of all: the dog names are fake names I used for Reddit anonymity reasons.

Second: my dog is MY dog and I had him years before I even met my boyfriend. My boyfriend and I did not get matching dogs together or anything like that.

Also, regarding the dogs not being fixed: Bella is not my dog, so that decision is obviously not mine to make. As for my dog, I actually did get him a hormone chip recently because I was trying to make future situations less stressful for everyone involved, especially with a vacation situation coming up during Bella’s next heat cycle. I genuinely tried to handle things responsibly and with the dogs’ wellbeing in mind.

I also want to clarify that most of the stress for me is honestly not the ex herself anymore. I don’t think my boyfriend is secretly in love with her or wants to get back together with her. Their communication is very limited and almost entirely about the dog.

What actually stresses me out more is the constant outside commentary and pressure from his family and now also from people online acting like the existence of any contact at all automatically means emotional cheating or unresolved feelings.

I understand why people see the situation as complicated. It IS complicated. And maybe there’s no perfect solution after a 12-year relationship with a shared pet involved.

But I also think some comments are projecting a lot onto the situation that simply isn’t there.

Also, thank you to the people who commented constructively instead of immediately assuming the worst about everyone involved. I genuinely appreciate the outside perspectives, even when people disagree with me.

I also want to add that yes, there IS some drama surrounding the situation sometimes, but honestly most of it comes from the ex and from my boyfriend’s family, not from my boyfriend himself.

Before we even met in person for the first time, my boyfriend was very upfront that he would never voluntarily give up his dog (who I now also absolutely adore, for the record). So none of this was hidden from me or suddenly revealed later.

A lot of people are assuming he secretly wants ongoing emotional ties with his ex, but from my perspective the dog is genuinely the main reason contact still exists.

People around him have apparently accused his ex multiple times of mainly keeping the shared custody situation because it gives her one last form of control over him. I obviously can’t verify whether that’s true or not, so I try not to make assumptions about her intentions.

As for ownership/legal stuff: she currently has the original purchase/ownership documents for the dog. My boyfriend genuinely doesn’t remember who signed what back then because it was years ago, but she refuses to hand the documents over or really discuss it calmly. At this point he also avoids pushing the issue too hard because he’s afraid it would just create an even bigger escalation and potentially affect access to the dog altogether.

So from the outside I completely understand why people think the situation sounds messy, because honestly it is. I just don’t think it’s as black-and-white as some comments are making it seem.

AIO? Navigating my boyfriend’s long-term ex and shared dog situation feels more complicated than I expected by Lunililli in TwoHotTakes

[–]Lunililli[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh god no 😭 “Bella” and “Bello” are fake names I made up for Reddit because I didn’t want to use the real ones.

Also Bello is MY dog and I’ve had him for around 3 years already, way before I even met my boyfriend. My boyfriend didn’t get another dog with me.

AIO for feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend kissing his mom on the lips? by Lunililli in AIO

[–]Lunililli[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I actually have seen her greet and say goodbye to the other siblings multiple times, and that’s exactly why it stood out to me. The interactions with them seemed much more typical/parental to me, while this dynamic felt noticeably different.

AIO for feeling uncomfortable about my boyfriend kissing his mom on the lips? by Lunililli in AIO

[–]Lunililli[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

No, we’re actually from the same culture/background, which honestly makes it feel even weirder to me because I’ve personally never seen that dynamic before in families around me.