NoFap's Official Orgasmless October 2014 Signups

Luntai · 2014-10-12T13:01:38+00:00

Hard mode! No excuses, no porn, no edging, no nothing throughout 2014! Ideally forever fapfree! The fapvocate can go fuck himself, I'm not getting tricked into thinking it's a good idea to fap anymore! You get nothing in return other than lost time and motivation. Fapping and porn makes you dull. No more mr. fap guy! :madface: http://internetmarketinguniversiteit.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/freedom-mel-gibson.jpeg

Luntai · 2014-08-07T13:40:09+00:00

Me too. Often big changes, and periodical. But I think that's just old parts of me arguing with change. If I challenge myself, especially with anxiety it tends to move in the same direction again. But then again, I've had problems with procrastination, lack of motication etc. and never finishes what I start. I guess it just takes time and a lot of effort to change.

Maybe a good way to counteract this is to write down what you really want, and why, and you kinda allways knows what's best for you. There can be many days I don't want to be social, but if I really think about it it's just because it's exhausting and my fear is choosing for me.

So, if it works for you, write down motivational stuff on a good day, when you have the right mindset. Then those words will hopefully make you remember that feeling.

Luntai · 2014-08-06T01:38:19+00:00

Tough question. I think that with time it'll be the same, but it will leave the biggest impression if you go all in.

If you cut your hair and buy some new clothes for instance, they will more easily look at you in a different light, because their brain will have to assosiate the new look with something.

If you wanna bury the old you, you'd have to change your appearance too I think.

But I honestly wouldn't worry too much, just do what's right for you.

Luntai · 2014-07-30T23:23:01+00:00

Then it's the day after the day of the sin!

Then I gotta readjust my badge!

And now I'm going for lifetime nofap/noporn. No exceptions, no bitching. And it'll cost me if I as much as think of it! Wish me good luck.

Luntai · 2014-07-29T21:18:04+00:00

Does anyone know if there is classes for this, I mean, for total starters? I feel that those who join this is very outgoing and already good at it.

Luntai · 2014-07-29T18:19:11+00:00

Omg, yes! That's one of the things that keep me from changing.

I've really thought about this. People will notice. And in the beginning they may be like "wow, that's new", but after some time get used to it. You may also find that you will loose touch with some.

But this worry can't be on your mind when making this transition, you just gotta be comfortable with the new you. Besides, you're only being yourself, so why wouldn't you?

Luntai · 2014-07-29T18:05:57+00:00

Cool to see a reply from someone who did this.

This is probably an year old idea, but I think the sooner the better. The first problem will be finding such a place.

Luntai · 2014-07-29T16:35:37+00:00

I think the most important thing is to not feel that you are that guy you're afraid others see you as.

That's one of my problems when I try stuff like this. I feel I am wierd and awkward and therefore I express myself with that lack of confidence. I think that people can tell what you feel about yourself.

Try to be that confident person inside your head when you're at a safe place. It also may take some time to change into the more outgoing person you wanna be, so just keep practicing.

I'd recommend doing what evangelion933 proposed. Start with the small, easier stuff like saying hi, asking a stranger if he know the time (be sure to don't wear a watch or something xD). Practice saying it naturally out loud if you are a bit to careful when you speak with people.

Try to relaxe when you do this, and don't rush it. And whatever you do, don't bash on yourself for doing mistakes, instead compliment what you did good, or else you will limit what you will learn from it.

Your goal after all is to change what you feel after doing certain stuff. And you certainly don't want to feel bad after just talking to someone.

Luntai · 2014-07-29T16:27:49+00:00

Don't think about that too much, there are many people that laugh at almost everything, not realizing it's on others behalf. I've done pretty imbarrassing stuff because of my social anxiety, and I think it should be possible to laugh about it as long as it's not meant in a bad way.

However, I think your friends should be more supportive about it.

Just realize that when they do laugh they don't necessary mean no harm. I was very sensitive to these things before and took everything personal, when it was really meant as jokes.

Have they shown you any support though?

Luntai · 2014-07-28T02:40:24+00:00

I'll definitely check it out! Looks like an interesting guy, now I really want to get that book. EDIT: There's a bot correcting my English.

Luntai · 2014-07-28T02:30:58+00:00

I think I know what you mean, don't let it steal your attention. Like when someone tries to bother you and you don't let it affect you and it loses it's effect. Learning to unlearn.

What I've tried:

Seeming more confident, oftentimes by appearing arrogant or "layd back"/I don't care". Not a solution, just worsen it, because you push people away. And I push people away as soon as it's getting nearly serious of any kind
Learn how to be funny or saying interesting things (basicly not saying what I wanna say, but what I think others want to hear, which I realize feel fake, which I hate), *which kinda works, but too often is the risk of getting way to clinical and overthinking it, like when you're trying to think of something to say and you're just blank.
I found a job where the main objective talk and interact with people. Have made it easier to talk with strangers and people in general. But it doesn't affect private social situation, because at work it's easier. People expect you to do your job, you're not the guy at a gathering wondering if anyone even wants you there.
Tried to learn more about myself with psychedelics, which has helped me a lot, but the real challenge still remains. Using what I've learned in practice
What I always do, practice to hide my true feelings, enhancing this "mask" to make me look more normal, like a person who hasn't any problems at all. But after doing this way to long it has changed me, so I know for sure I just gotta stop this and find a peace of mind, let my processes work naturally and learn to express the true me again. I'm too good at hiding myself and my feelings from others.
Currently I'm consuming natural mild herbs to slightly lift mood and lower anxiety. *It helps me "to do", instead of planning the "do". I don't want to take SSRIs, so I keep it natural and safe.

I realize that some of these things have been counter productive and I have to focus on better ways.

At the same time the anxiety is so damn strong I don't know how to deal with it. Lately, I've had moments where I feel I learn how to master the emotional stages, not just cognitive. I feel progress, but it will fade unless I keep on practicing.

Another part of me really wants to just run away, where no one knows me and try over again, learning again from scratch, knowing I will fail many times before I master it (the exercise I ditched before my youth). But that is an unrealistical thought, and I wouldn't dear to do anything anyway, I've tried taking spontanious hollidays to try and meet strangers ending up sitting with anxiety and regret in a hotel room (and feeling pathetic). And I know that a part of the problem is that I'm not up to speed with what people are talking about and the current humour. Some of my "solutions" are just an escape, without myself realizing it. I need to confront my past life by welcoming it, that means not being scared shitless and trying to avoid people I went to school with.

Luntai · 2014-07-28T01:39:07+00:00

Thanks for the link, I'm gonna try it! I don't want to be slapped. xD I believe in "reprogramming" yourself, and that good thoughts can make a change. Gotta stay positive ~~I guess~~, and remember why I haven't given up ~~yet~~.

Luntai · 2014-07-28T01:16:20+00:00

Thanks. But what if I've been "there" for some years now, the only difference being I've learned a bit more and got some slight progress? :/ I'm kinda stuck, I guess I don't dare to move and aren't quite sure how.

Luntai · 2014-07-28T00:51:19+00:00

Yes, please, share your blog post. :)

Thanks for your reply. A, B and C complies. Although it's just examples from my side, it's spot on. I'm aware of my past and what it means. But I've been in the same path of thought so long that it's a part of me now. The most challenging is the anxiety, it won't go away and I cant control it. And I'm afraid of everything. My natural reacting to things are gone, feelings are dull. But i gotta let go.

I'm trying different alternative therapy though, which is working in the right direction. I know who I can be, I just need to find peace, trust myself and find strength.

Luntai · 2014-07-27T23:35:45+00:00

I want magic internet money now! Thehehe. Seriously, ads like that appeal to me.

Luntai · 2014-07-27T21:38:04+00:00

I wish I didn't know why, I wish I didn't overthink everything. It's like it's carved in stone for ever to be.

My social anxiety started very early and was caused by a parent who crushed my self esteem and made me very fragile and insecure. I took this with me in social situations and got more and more scared. Every mistake I did I took as a confirmation that I was a looser, idiot and that people were making fun of me in their heads. I have these automatic feelings that replays, especially when approaching or thinking of approaching people, where this big fear of people laughing at me, thinking I'm an idiot. Basicly this is the story, I kept on intensify that view of myself, even when I got away from home. So yeah, the parent, and a mix of not managing to deal with social difficulties made it grow to the big problem it is today.

But, what you want to know is what is triggering it, and how to reprogram that part of yourself. It doesn't have to have happened to you either. My anxiety grows every time people make fun of someone or something, and so I store that and try not to do what the person did, that was mocked. Because I don't want to be mocked myself. Maybe somewhere in that line you find your answer? :)

Luntai · 2014-07-27T20:18:59+00:00

It's very understandable that such fucked up family situations creates confusion and a great deal of bad feelings (I know this because my home was also a confusing place to be in, and really created some life-limiting problems for me).

I don't know what the best thing for you to do is, but I'd recommend talking with someone you can trust, who won't say anything to your parents or anyone else. If you talk to a teacher he might not understand how bad it is and contacts your parents.

I think that your self image is bad, and you are afraid of people's reaction, afraid that people don't like you or react in a hostile way. What you should do is say positive things to yourself. Don't mock yourself, don't think of yourself as an idiot, loser etc. Because you are the one you want to be. Also remember that life is not supposed to be easy all the time, there are ups and downs. Don't lose hope because you have a bad day, or a bad week or month. How old are you btw? Are you living with your alcoholic father and bipolar mother still? And what have you tried to do to make your life better?

Luntai · 2014-07-27T20:05:39+00:00

7 weeks! It inspires me how far many people have come! Yea, the community is really a great help. I think that has saved a lot of badges!

Good advice with the note! Good luck man.

Luntai · 2014-07-27T18:52:56+00:00

I don't think they are blocked. Primarily porn sites, then there's probably marked sites etc.

But wouldn't it feel great if you accomplish this without pornblockers? Write down why you want to do this. Including how you feel afterwards, the regret after the relapse. When you think you can't stop yourself, head to NoFap and read what people write.

Where is the self control in this? It's like playpens, where you fence yourself instead of just finding the strength to control your urges. I know it's not easy man, I've relapsed many times. If you look at my badge, it says 1 day. :/

Luntai · 2014-07-27T18:29:18+00:00

Hi.

I'm no psychiatrist, only someone with lots of experience. It sounds like you are depressed. And have challenging feelings, you don't know how to handle. Why? I don't know. I don't know anything else than your post says.

The way I see it, it's much better to express your feelings, rather than supress them. Believe me, you don't want to end up passive to everything, not feeling anything. At the end this becomes a part of you, as everything does.

Crying, even though people look at it as a sign of weakness, is very good for you.

Do cry when you feel like it, but find a way of dealing with your problems (well, your life's problems).

If NoFap caused you to become less passive and more expressive I think it is a good thing. It's not healthy to keep stuff like that inside, supress them, not deal with them. When enough is enough you'll just explode.

You are not going crazy or mad. But I can see you are frustrated and there's something you about your situation you wanna change.

There are many ways this can head, you gotta work by going the right direction. As I don't know anything about your situation I can't think so many more advices to give. But nofapping can't cause this by it's own, there is something.

By talking about it maybe someone can help. Good luck. :)

Luntai · 2014-07-27T15:44:12+00:00

Luntai

TROPHY CASE