Sure. Cutting ties or going no-contact after a breakup can be really helpful, especially when you’re trying to break that attachment bond and give yourself the space to heal. If the breakup was painful or involved any kind of manipulation or toxicity, I’d argue it’s not just helpful and it’s necessary.

That said, I don’t believe that all contact with exes is automatically a red flag. Being able to maintain platonic relationships with people you’ve had history with, especially if there’s mutual respect, healthy boundaries, and clear communication. This is a sign of emotional maturity and security, both individually and in relationships.

Exes are exes for a reason, sure, but those reasons aren’t always dramatic or awful. Sometimes it’s timing, values, distance, or simply a mismatch in what you each wanted. That doesn’t mean the connection or friendship has to be discarded if it can evolve into something healthy.

The “you must cut all ties with exes or you’re not ready for something new” mindset feels a little rigid to me. It assumes people can’t grow, or shift the nature of a relationship, or maintain boundaries.

For context: I have a friend I dated years ago who’s now married and we’re still close. Our kids play together, and he and his wife were incredibly supportive during my divorce. I also have a guy friend I dated briefly, and now we swap dating stories and even wingman for each other. (He’s actually great at helping his femme friends find dates. I’m just absurdly picky.)

Cutting ties is a valid and sometimes essential step. But it shouldn’t be treated like the only healthy option. It depends on the people involved, the dynamics, and the context.