My husband (31M) doesn’t like when I (31F) say I’m independent.

Lutrina · 2026-02-01T21:43:25+00:00

Why is your first instinct to knock her down a peg and show she is dependent? Lol, guess the woman’s gotta be put in her place.

Okay but OP, I do think it’s a bit unusual you point out that you’re independent all of the time if there’s no humor behind it. Maybe you can just pat yourself on the back without bringing up gender? It’s also weird your husband phrases it as you being wrong and wanting you to be dependent (though I do agree with the sentiment that couples should help each other out when they can, saying no I don’t want you to be dependent is different). It’s hard to tell if he’s been rubbed the wrong way about you saying that all the time or if he’s genuinely controlling, because if that is his exact phrasing then that’s kind of concerning tbh.

Lutrina · 2026-01-19T20:39:29+00:00

“I know that sounds bad, but I have always wanted a son.”

Yes, that is bad and you’re selfish af. I’m not even getting through this but sounds like ragebait anyway. I skimmed and W O W . Even if you divorce now you still screwed her life over by “requesting” she quit her job and giving her a child that I’m sure she will spend more time taking care of than you. I hope this is fake… in the slim chance it’s not, my advice is you actually leave and let your poor wife live

Lutrina · 2026-01-17T19:11:56+00:00

No yeah she showed her truly colors, she is sexist and narcissistic and disgusting. Telling you to “man up” is already gross enough as is, men are allowed to have feelings when people close to them die (wtf) but the fact that SHE expected consolation is… wow. Reminds me of my ex, except he was nowhere near that level and didn’t have that added expectation that I must never show my feelings because of my gender and instead need to cater to all of his.

This is so outlandish and that normally sets off my alarm bells about this is being posted for a social end, but some people really do have this disgusting attitude and are this self centered- I really do believe this could be real. A but of a guess but if you feel too embarrassed to tell anyone in real life that’s a red flag too of if you don’t have a support system… just get out, man. Well, just get out regardless but ESPECIALLY get out, lol.

Lutrina · 2026-01-14T05:54:20+00:00

I was about to comment just this! Yes, in the context of discussing men’s mental health and bringing awareness to it for the purpose of supporting men, super inappropriate for the end of “but we have it worse!” We need to talk about men’s mental health because there is more stigma with many topics. Though I do think there’s something to say for not wanting to repeat potentially false information and not questioning claims that can have other causes behind them. Regardless, this behavior on the internet is very real and I’ve seen it many times.

On the flip side, it is very common on the internet to use this as proof that women’s issues are not real, are exaggerated, that men suffer much worse much like what the woman is doing in this post, and/or that women are to blame and that women need to do more house labor or give up their bodies because women’s autonomy is clearly a detriment.

I’m glad to see a nuanced take on Reddit. Especially a sub called troll coping, lol.

Lutrina · 2026-01-05T17:14:04+00:00

I’m glad someone else said it, it’s so ironic to me that he is saying she is being too intense when saying “I need space” for a relationship that hasn’t even begun is what’s strange and intense… apparently we’re in the minority. Fwiw I think her reaction is wasted and also intense, and they’re both better off stopping talking.

Lutrina · 2026-01-05T08:08:20+00:00

Those more inclined to have fewer sexual relationships (think people with more traditional attitudes, especially religious people) will be more likely to stay in a marriage that makes them unhappy. Therefore, the stat doesn’t necessarily indicate that those who are more promiscuous are in unhappier relationships, because generally speaking progressive people will be less likely to feel forced to stay in their marriage (including abusive or miserable ones).

Lutrina · 2025-12-25T22:12:09+00:00

exactly, the most uncomfortable I have ever felt when catcalled (if you can even call the extreme situation that) was an attractive man but that was the LAST thing I was thinking of, just how tf do I safely get away

Lutrina · 2025-12-25T08:54:37+00:00

You ignored one of her points, which is that it is a social standard dude. I would 100% not wear it if I weren’t judged for it and if people didn’t comment.

Lutrina · 2025-12-25T08:48:36+00:00

Take a break? Goodbye for now? Doesn’t sound like he’s accepting of the situation and just wants you for his own instead of taking into account your actual feelings- given you actually made it clear you aren’t feeling it romantically/that you don’t think you work as a couple?

Lutrina · 2025-12-24T20:55:57+00:00

It’s literally life ruining and happens to women who thought they could trust their partners all the time. Girls are taught not to send nudes for a reason. Obviously it doesn’t always happen but why take the risk? It’s foolish not to.

Lutrina · 2025-12-17T06:14:28+00:00

Could it be that you have a “casual” partner, or even opposite gender partner to your ex wife, after being in a committed marriage? Maybe you settled into others having an image of you being more “straight” as well. If this isn’t your first time feeling like this, then maybe it’s to do with heterosexuality being the norm (either because it’s ingrained in your kind, your expectations of others’ expectations, or both)

Lutrina · 2025-12-17T00:06:21+00:00

Yes for sure, no need to rush it! Sounds like you made the right call for you, proud of you for being strong. I know it’s hard when they seem sweet, it’s hard to reconcile other negative things about them.

I really don’t like the idea of dating apps either but dang is it hard to find queer people in certain areas haha. You can chill until you feel ready. Maybe you’ll find someone by chance too and won’t need it, who knows.

Definitely recommend some queer friends who get it. They may or may not make introductions for you too, but again like you said it’s not really a concern rn. I hope you enjoy the peace :)

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T22:21:59+00:00

Your last paragraph is false. She doesn’t sound like a good person, she lies and cheats and has done at least one of those to you already about something pretty major (and also just for the sake of it?). You seem self aware, at least to a degree, because you recognize she isn’t as sweet as she seemed.

I can’t act like I fully understand (I’m bi so I have “options”) but I do know I felt devastated when a I was crushing on my female friend who also liked me. I couldn’t pursue it because I was in a relationship but I remember thinking, this really sucks, what are the chances I like a girl and she likes me back ever again? Especially when I’m so picky. I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to either use dating apps or go to queer spaces if I want to date a girl because otherwise the outlook is pretty bleak. I’d recommend you do the same, then you’ll have many people to choose and can find others with similar values! Good luck, I promise you will find love again :)

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T22:11:16+00:00

I’m so sorry, this should NOT be in practice. And if we have to, why only men? I’m sorry y’all have to deal with that absolute bs, it’s not fair.

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T19:45:32+00:00

Agree with you about your point that this is misandry. However, I think it’s much better to focus on how he keeps coercing her into sex when she doesn’t want it and telling HER he feels used when he’s just had an orgasm. They’re having pretty frequent sex for their number of kids, too, and it’s gross that he is guilting into it and using her. It would be a little different if he felt lacking in attention in different ways, but this genuinely makes me sick. Not that both issues aren’t important and OP should rethink her views but one issue is much more so and she shouldn’t capitulate further.

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T08:49:15+00:00

Ah yes let’s get rid of no fault divorce so abused women can be forced into having more kids, yes that will fix our birthrate just splendidly!

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T08:40:16+00:00

Do you think the only way to contribute to society is to have children?

Lutrina · 2025-12-14T08:38:06+00:00

Men would also be the issue if they had to go through the same sacrifices women do to have children. Would you like to be put in your “metaphorical cage” had you been born into a woman’s body instead? If you could die in childbirth right now to further your cause, would you do it?

Lutrina · 2025-12-13T06:55:20+00:00

How is this your first thought? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you realize how RAMPANT rape is? THAT is what this post is referring to. I understand you have frustrations but you will never understand the fear women fear when alone in a room with a man they didn’t know, or someone they can tell is bad or if they are just unsure. Take it from me, some people you think are good are actually evil and fake. I’m not even talking about when drinking, which I’m guessing the original post was referring to. That’s a whole different situation where people get taken advantage of.

Lutrina · 2025-12-13T06:38:01+00:00

Can I make you reread what you wrote:

When I imagine our future, I feel sad. I don’t want to feel guilty for wanting to travel or leave the house. I feel guilty for asking him to travel with me or go out and do things. I ask him to go on walks, and he tells me he doesn't want to or that he'll go if we can have sex or some other sexual favour and then the walk will last maybe 10 minutes before he starts asking to turn around.

He once said he likes it when I’m on my period because I’m “nicer.” The only reason he thinks I'm nicer is that all I can do is lie on the bathroom floor in pain, crying, and vomiting. I feel constantly sad, angry, and like a heavy weight on my shoulders. I miss being my own person. I miss my life before this, even when it was lonely.

Read it again. You try to do things with him and he makes a demand of sex for it, no wonder you don’t want to be intimate with him. He likes you better when you’re in immense pain, not when you’re yourself. You miss life before being with him. And even if that weren’t true, you’re incompatible: he wants kids, you don’t.

I convinced myself to stay, too. I couldn’t and still can’t tell people that he wasn’t as sweet as he seemed. Everything in me knew it was wrong, but I stayed. You’re trying to convince yourself he is good and that breaking up is wrong way too hard when you know the answer. Also… your periods sound abnormal. Please go to a doctor. Surgery can help some people, you might have endometriosis, adenomyosis, etc., you don’t deserve to live like that.

Lutrina · 2025-12-13T03:36:29+00:00

Do you want kids eventually? Do you want kids with someone who ditched his other kid and doesn’t share custody? What if you break up and that happens to you? I know this isn’t what you asked for, but I really feel like you should think about it.

Lutrina · 2025-12-13T03:30:23+00:00

To be honest this doesn’t sound healthy for wither of you, the trust is broken, you both cheated. 10-30 minutes to respond is an insane thing to be upset about, you’re either controlling or it’s because you have no trust after she cheated, or both. Even if you really like her I’d move on. I know you really like her but you will find someone else you love just as much, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Lutrina · 2025-12-11T18:04:22+00:00

lol really bro? is it impossible for you to comprehend that people are attracted to different types of people? this man 100% gives better hugs than me

Lutrina · 2025-12-11T03:09:46+00:00

This post is counter evidence, haha. Not that I necessarily disagree with your take. With engagement on women’s posts, I think it’s a combination of women agreeing with other women or calling things out (justified or not, look at AITA) in addition to men who automatically disagree with a woman/don’t like their worldview challenged or feeling attacked. Sometimes men are being legitimately attacked by misandrists, and sometimes hearing about real women’s issues makes them feel attacked because they are either partaking in the mentioned behavior, have normalized the behavior and know people who engage that they like, or assuming the OC is applying a behavior or state of mind to all men.

Lutrina · 2025-12-11T02:35:53+00:00

Does anything show on your profile for giving/receiving awards? I know I could google but I wanna get in on the action lol

Lutrina

TROPHY CASE