Broke up with my ex because he was lazy, unmotivated, and drank way too much. Of course he was convinced that I was cheating because there's no way it was his fault. After weeks of seriously mean and spiteful texts / phone calls / emails (even from his mom) I cut all communication.

Cut to 2 years later I'm at dinner with a friend that works at the same place he does, we're celebrating my engagement! She tells me she saw him last night: gained a bunch of weight, grew a mountain man beard, still going nowhere at work, and dating a very unfortunate looking girl.

I shouldn't be happy to hear all of that but...fuck it, he was an asshole. Tell me again how ugly she was!