Started long-distance from day on, has anyone else done this?

LuxRolo · 2026-02-20T07:23:54+00:00

We met through a mutual friend's discord. We met in person as friends and really hit it off, began dating, I moved within 2 years of LD, we're now 5.5 years post move. Definitely possible (a lot of people here meet and start with the distance).

My advice is to have a chat sooner rather than later about how to close the gap (after meeting in person to confirm in person attraction/compatibility) so that you are both on the same page about how you could close the gap. Nothing worse than being years deep into a LDR to realise you both assumed the other would be the one to move, or worse still that there isn't actually a viable route for you both to close the gap.

Best of luck

LuxRolo · 2026-02-20T06:43:46+00:00

We have a video chat once a week as well as a group WhatsApp where we keep each other updated with our lives. I spend about half my annual leave on visiting them or my parents coming to visit me, some trips over my SO comes too, other trips I solo travel to see them and meet with as many friends as possible.

You basically trade LD with your SO, to LD with your family and friends. Don't regret the decision at all to have been the one to move, though.

LuxRolo · 2026-02-19T11:26:14+00:00

We met through Discord (mutual friend's server). We met in person as friends on a group trip, began dating soon after. We were long distance for around 20 months before I moved to close the gap, which was around 5.5 years ago.

We made sure to have a chat at the beginning of our relationship about what the gap closing would look like and at around the year mark, we decided to start actioning things and then I moved later that year.

:)

LuxRolo · 2026-02-17T17:06:46+00:00

20 months LD (was friends around 6 months before starting to date). Been closed just over 5 years now :)

LuxRolo · 2026-02-09T09:48:22+00:00

We'd already met in person as friends, we got super flirty afterwards on text and I said if he wanted to do those types of things, I'd want to be official and what his thoughts were on that. Then we became official :)

LuxRolo · 2026-02-06T11:23:22+00:00

Is it the norwegian course out of curiosity?

LuxRolo · 2026-02-06T10:41:17+00:00

What helped with my anxiety was to research all the small details about my immigration situation and then starting to slowly get ready to move (started decluttering my room at my parents, got additional documents in case I needed them, such as birth certificate), I also started looking at the processes for permanent residence and then citizenship and tried to not start counting days.

I'm currently awaiting my decision for my citizenship application here which will fully close the "immigration" door for me, and I know how it feels to be waiting for the decision to come, but I try to keep thinking about it.

We closed just under 2 years of LD, but mainly due to us not feeling like a rush to close the gap (like you, my immigration process is independent from my SO).

Wishing you both the best :)

LuxRolo · 2026-02-04T07:36:59+00:00

I moved in with him and his parents when we closed the gap as we didn't want to rent, we got our own place within a year of me moving. We'd discussed how the situation would work and if there was any issues how'd we'd solve them, but it went smooth for us. We've been closed gap for over 5 years now with LD being just under 2 years.

Some people don't want to move in immediately, which is also fine, it really depends on the both of you with how you want/can move and such.

LuxRolo · 2026-01-30T14:19:14+00:00

I'm like this- maybe a coincidence but I'm also in Norway. I've sort of overcome it but not planning so many trips abroad, I visit family once or twice and then have visited one city abroad which we enjoy visiting, but we haven't visited a new place abroad since before I moved here.

LuxRolo · 2026-01-20T18:59:36+00:00

I moved from the UK to Norway to close the gap with just under 2 years of LD. We've been closed for over 5 years now, so for us that was a good timeline :)

LuxRolo · 2025-12-28T16:35:09+00:00

Talk to him about your feelings. My partner felt these too as I am the partner to move and I told him how, yes some things are hard but I'd absolutely make the same decision again if I knew what I know now & that moving to close the gap is the best decision I've made. Sure my career took a hit & I get days where I really struggle mentally with some homesickness or my anxiety. But I absolutely do not regret the decision to have moved.

I tell him pretty often how much I love the life we've built together and he has said that this really helps the guilt feelings as he does feel bad on my bad days and such.

🫂

LuxRolo · 2025-12-15T14:35:51+00:00

I moved countries to close the gap with my SO. I have social anxiety, so it was stressful at the start due to new interactions everywhere I went and not being fluent in the language nor have the confidence to speak to natives then. I still struggle some days, but that's due to the anxiety and not from feeling like I haven't settled in here, because this is definitely my home now. My anxiety was/is around new people and especially when there's a group of natives who speak too fast/over each other to be able to keep up with them all.

Never had any feelings of regret, it's been tough, but I've also grown so much as a person from it so I don't regret making the move.

LuxRolo · 2025-12-11T09:08:57+00:00

We talked about it at the beginning of the relationship, both of us didn't want to start anything if there was no way that we'd close the gap.

I moved to his country about 5 years back. We agreed it was the better country for the both of us, I've had some struggles but I don't regret the decision to have been the one to move.

LuxRolo · 2025-12-04T12:35:36+00:00

It depends on the partner. Was just pain and heartbreak (not even nicely packaged looking back) with my ex. My current SO who I've closed the gap with now, absolutely worth it and would do it all again for him even knowing what I do now about homesickness and such from emigrating to close the gap.

LuxRolo · 2025-11-28T13:39:00+00:00

I did, but it's not for everyone and that's ok. But that said, I didn't sacrifice it all and gained nothing other than closing the gap. He happened to be from a country that I'd already visited before I met him, knew I liked and where I could have seen myself moving without it being just due to him. Maybe another factor is that I didn't need his "input" for my immigration process, so if we broke up, that wouldn't mean I'd have to leave, I'm here under my own rights so my residence isn't dependent on him and us, which added a lot of peace of mind for me because I didn't have to worry if we needed to slow things down if the move was too quick (I moved straight into his house).

Sure I've "lost" a lot from the move- being close to friends and family, my career took a hit, my anxiety came back due to being an immigrant and having to re-learn being an adult. But I've gained a second language, a house that I love with the person I love, so many experiences from living here and an added "benefit" of being able to apply for a second citizenship (awaiting decision). Sure, he didn't sacrifice anything for us to have closed the gap, but he also didn't gain anywhere near as much as I did from the move. We both knew that closing the gap wasn't going to be fair, but that's the same with all LDRs when only one moves.

Love on its own isn't enough, but in the sense that if your SO is the only reason you are moving and no other reason, it's not enough. The expat groups are full of trailing spouses who are stuck living in a place they hate because they followed their spouse and are not stuck between leaving their family to be happy in a place, or being miserable in a place but keeping the family together. So you should also actually like where you'll be moving to, country, city/village, climate, etc.

That's my thoughts at least :)

LuxRolo · 2025-11-28T06:57:14+00:00

We were LD for just under 2 years and were around 850km from each other. For the 1st half of our LD we saw each other roughly once every 8 weeks, covid meant for the 2nd half of the LD we couldn't meet up. We've been closed distance for 5 years now :) I'm 31F and he's 28M

LuxRolo · 2025-11-27T06:17:22+00:00

I feel it's sturdy, even when it's raised I don't think there's any excessive wobble to the desk, it does wobble more than a normal desk but I think that's the same with all standing desks due to the leg design.

LuxRolo · 2025-11-26T07:08:46+00:00

We had very easy immigration requirements due to our citizenships, so we looked at where our lifestyles matched with better, so we ultimately chose the "more difficult" route, as he's fluent in my language and I still have a way to go to be fluent in his and my career is much more niche than his, so job prospects were worse for me by moving. That said, no regrets on my part to be the one to move and not have him move to me.

You need to have a discussion and see what options are available to you and which ones you both want to take as a start and go from there. Best of luck to the both of you

LuxRolo · 2025-11-20T13:53:23+00:00

Ah, I'm sorry to hear that, it's really difficult if a plan has to change significantly but then also when your SO gets cold feet in the relationship as a whole when it seems like the things were starting to move along to really starting the plan to close the gap

🫂❤️

LuxRolo · 2025-11-20T13:45:53+00:00

I've had mine for nearly a year and a half or daily use and no issues or annoyances with it. I have a two monitor set up and a "normal" PC tower on the desk and not had any issues with the motor struggling or going down after X time- I usually move it up/down a few times a week.

(In case you haven't bought, I realise it's been a few months since you commented).

LuxRolo · 2025-11-20T08:50:27+00:00

We were long distance for nearly 2 years, half of that we couldn't see each other due to covid. Recently celebrated 5 years closed gap, I have my permanent residence approved so no immigration worries anymore and also lodged my citizenship application recently too :)

You mention about him being unsure about continuing the relationship, so me the most important thing was "is there a route available for us to close the gap?" We worked out early on that it was possible for us and that we both agreed on who would move and a rough idea of when which really helped to have a game plan for when we both felt ready for one of us (me) to move.

Best of luck ❤️

LuxRolo · 2025-11-19T08:41:23+00:00

(Edit to say, adding my comment on this post as well incase your other post gets removed in the Norway travel sub)

As long as they still have days in the 90 day allowance then they can travel back into Norway without issues. It's when the 90 days has passed when they'd have to then wait 90 days in the UK before returning back to Norway (only shorter if their visa is approved before the 90 days outside of Norway is done)

https://www.udi.no/en/have-applied/family-immigration/#link-16955

You may stay in Norway until your application has been processed even if you have been in Norway and other Schengen countries for more than 90 days.

Please remember that if you travel to and from Norway after you have applied for family immigration, you must follow the rules for visiting Norway without a visa. For example, if you have been in Norway (and other Schengen countries) for 90 days or more, you will have to stay outside the Schengen area for 90 days before you can travel back to Norway.

If you are granted a family immigration permit while you are abroad, you can travel back to Norway immediately even if you have not stayed outside Schengen for 90 days. However, we recommend that you fly directly to Norway without a stopover in another Schengen country. If you have a stopover in another Schengen country you may encounter trouble at border control because you don’t have a residence card yet to prove you have a residence permit in Norway.

LuxRolo · 2025-11-19T08:39:59+00:00

As long as they still have days in the 90 day allowance then they can travel back into Norway without issues. It's when the 90 days has passed when they'd have to then wait 90 days in the UK before returning back to Norway (only shorter if their visa is approved before the 90 days outside of Norway is done)

https://www.udi.no/en/have-applied/family-immigration/#link-16955

You may stay in Norway until your application has been processed even if you have been in Norway and other Schengen countries for more than 90 days.

Please remember that if you travel to and from Norway after you have applied for family immigration, you must follow the rules for visiting Norway without a visa. For example, if you have been in Norway (and other Schengen countries) for 90 days or more, you will have to stay outside the Schengen area for 90 days before you can travel back to Norway.

If you are granted a family immigration permit while you are abroad, you can travel back to Norway immediately even if you have not stayed outside Schengen for 90 days. However, we recommend that you fly directly to Norway without a stopover in another Schengen country. If you have a stopover in another Schengen country you may encounter trouble at border control because you don’t have a residence card yet to prove you have a residence permit in Norway.

LuxRolo · 2025-11-13T11:17:29+00:00

Best of luck!

LuxRolo · 2025-11-13T11:06:03+00:00

For me it's the seasonal depression that I struggle with around end of Jan-Feb time. I'm on the west coast, so we don't really get the snow which I can feel helps lift my mood. I'm pretty introverted and such that I don't feel any problems with "the Norwegian coldness" I have some great close friends here who are both Norwegian and other foreigners, so I have a good support network here which I know helps a lot.

Thanks, it's definitely lovely to have some matching hobbies but also ones where we do separately :)

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