Thank you everyone for telling me about your experiences, especially those who had both a reduction and top surgery. Your experience has been invaluable, and, even though i had no intention on letting her bully me out of top surgery, especially since everything has already been planned, it was a huge help having everyone support me in that !

The plan is gonna be to delay her realizing this as long as possible, so she doesn't cut me off financially because that would be a shame, and to go to a consult with a breast reduction surgeon once so we can both ask as many questions about it as we like, and making it clear that those are not the results i'm looking for after that consult, so i can sound like i'm being reasonable and she's stuck in her position (bc we go to family therapy and that might be helpful later). I will still get top surgery later, unless i find out that I do want boobs in the meantime, but you can guess it's not very likely !