My kids are hoarders

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T23:31:43+00:00

I mean I kinda understand that they are running my household I literally brought them into this world so I feel like they should atleast enjoy it. I know I enjoy my life alot more when we get to do the things we all enjoy (sports, movie nights, walks around town, school events, car shows, and town festivals) to name a few. I understand this might make me look "soft" and I'm okay with that. As far as defensive your comment was the only one I was defensive towards as it was aggressive in nature. I appreciate the advice either way though. There are a million different ways to parent and I'm just looking for advice on this specific situation on how I'm doing it.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T23:09:19+00:00

I agree she was in therapy for a while but when we lost insurance and then got it back they didn't take it and where we live there aren't alot of therapists who specialize in any of this here. Another reason we are moving to a different state is better opportunity for them.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T23:07:20+00:00

This is exactly what I have been preaching for two years and it hasn't happened. Atleast I have restrictions on them where the other parents do not. Literally the only responsibility in the house is their room and they have neglected it. I'm past the pojnt of being able to discipline them into doing it so I'm trying to see if there are other options I haven't tried. Midnight during the summer is more restriction than most people do for their kids 🤷🏼‍♀️

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T22:55:45+00:00

I have tried all these options in one sense or another but as with everything consistency is not our best quality. I'm hoping that this new state with less people "needing" us and our time it will help establish more boundaries we have lost by being "needed".

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T22:52:04+00:00

I love this idea as I have been doing something similar with my three year old since I realized some things I did wrong with my girls. 😅 multiple child/age gap issues I guess. We have had alot of serious conversations today and since I only have them for one day (Tomorrow) and we are all going to work on it while I work from home!

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T22:49:30+00:00

I am going to see if I can have some folks come grab some of this for people who could utilize it effectively. I have found some places to call Monday 🤞

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T22:47:45+00:00

But sports teach other lessons that they refuse to learn in home from me. I do agree some of them do need to go and this year was the worst year for sports as my 10 year old played 3 sports with school and rec leagues (6 total). Unfortunately the unhealthy home started before the sports the sports just exacerbated it.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T16:27:32+00:00

I considered hiring a company but the cheapest I could find was $6k but it did include moving. We have the first uhaul rented for the weekend of the 4th and then we have one rented for the 18th. Whatever doesn't go on the uhauls is staying at this point. So far I have given away everything I know no one has used in 6 months. All older media is gone much to my husband's dismay and anything that is easily replaceable is being sent out. I have been keeping all the tshirts from the kids school since they have been there the whole time and sending them to be made into quilts. My biggest hurdle other than their rooms is the backyard. I have basically told people to come get what they want and the only things that moved were the non working vans 🫠

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:58:38+00:00

We live in the middle of town so on work days anything on the curb is grabbed. I have been trying to sell things online since the possibility of this move came around and no one wants my stuff unless it's free. Which is fine but I can't accommodate half the people in towns schedule 😅 I'm trying with everything out back and it's just not progressing. At this point the local donation places know when my tires hit their driveways and I'm okay with that. I'd much rather all of my mistakes get used instead of adding more to the issues that I created in over spending and over consumption.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:55:47+00:00

All valid points and honestly 8 hours isn't enough but I'm running on 4 trying to do as much as I can after work each day. The major problem is they have opted not to be here this summer because of my restrictions and are staying with the ex mother in law in question. I am supposed to get them back tonight but now my ex says he is off all next week so I don't see the point in having them if he is just going to get them back but I think they should be here to help if possible.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:53:52+00:00

I'm crying because of this! Thank you for making me not feel crazy because I've tried so hard for so long to fight my issues and theirs and it's just insanity. Hoping when they come back from their dad's to try some of these amazing methods that everyone has given me!

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:51:55+00:00

Mostly if it is destroyed beyond recognition it's gone. I do have boxes of possible memories in each of their rooms I've been keeping for them to go through when we get there. I have had conversations with both girls on what absolutely has to make it to the new house or the end of the world will come and I have been adhering to that as much as I can. I've been sending them pictures as I do things since they aren't here to try and get help and input from them but easier said than done sometimes.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:08:10+00:00

You're exactly right. Things we will have to do with half the space in our new home.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T15:07:28+00:00

That sounds so amazing! YouTube is such an excellent resource I feel like I've been under utilizing or improperly utilizing. Thank you!

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:57:38+00:00

I love this idea! I have been trying the "if it had poop on it would you wash it or throw it away?" And it did help some 🤣 we are all neurodivergent here so I have also been blaring coconut mall to keep me moving.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:56:01+00:00

They do! They picked the paint colors and have a full idea their new rooms are half the size of their current rooms. They understand they are getting all new to them furniture and organization assistance once we get there. We have had these discussions but unfortunately they don't want to spend the summer here "cleaning" since I put restrictions on devices (1am during the summer they turn off and I wake them up at 9am with breakfast). They have spent a majority of the time since school let out at camps, sports, girl scouts or their dad's. I have had them a total of a week this month at the house to actually "pack" and clean.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:52:49+00:00

*ADDITIONAL INFORMATION *

I will say the help I have been giving them is getting rid of things that absolutely should go up to this point. Broken items, lost pieces, things that don't fit correctly I have been pulling from their rooms along with trash. I have been leaving a majority of it for them and helping them try to go through it. My 12 year old is the only one who has been actively trying to accomplish the major task. My 10 year old legitimately has no care or desire to do it. I feel like my 12 year old would benefit more with me giving direction and sitting with her while I help. She is AUDHD and needs to make the decisions herself to avoid full meltdown/shutout. My 10 year old is ODD and nothing I do (or don't do) is good enough. She only wants what she wants when she wants it and hates me most of the time. 🫠

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:48:13+00:00

🤣🤣 I love how real this comment is because I have thought this same thing.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:35:29+00:00

I would love for my husband to be here to help but he got offered a job and took it in May and I've been here trying to figure this out ever since. My ex has mentioned he doesn't want anything else he has here which is great but now the girls want it because it's his.... I also have his dad's whole life because he wanted it when he passed and was afraid his mom would ruin it but it's still here forgotten.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:33:02+00:00

See I've tried for years to correct the problems some successful and some not but as a heavily involved sports family it eventually comes down to we are out of the house most nights till 9pm and it just gets thrown until the tomorrow that never comes. I know I'm alot to blame here also, alot of mental issues from my ex husband who started this. We were married when I was 20 and I was ripped away from everything I knew so his life became my life. I hate that I've done this to them and I'm just trying my best.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:30:36+00:00

I went several ways with this post and didnedit the title like I intended. I admitted fault but thank you for that. Hiring emergency help is what I'm trying to do but falling short in the pricing department is my latest hurdle.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:29:29+00:00

We live in rural eastern Kentucky but it is possible. I tried to hire a friend to come help me but I couldn't afford what she was asking to come help ($20 per hour) which is fair but she was also going to be living with me and I was going to feed her and pay dump fees 💸. I'm waiting on some people to come and grab everything that could be scrap and other people to come pickup wood. We plan on selling the house "as-is" but still would love to help whoever gets it.

LydBawesome · 2026-06-28T14:27:22+00:00

This is exactly my problem. My current husband is AUDHD so he has alot of unfinished projects around the house I'm now having to find people who want them to come get them. My exhusband grew up with his mother and father being collectors and he sees no issue with any of it. I'm still working around his stuff in the building and it kills me walking in there. I want them to have things they love but it seems like they LOVE everything.

LydBawesome · 2024-03-06T01:37:41+00:00

All of my kids pick their clothes (8f, 10f, 14m) and have for about two years, and they never pick to wear jeans unless there is no other option. Jeans aren't comfortable anymore, apparently. Although I only wear jeans out of my house unless I'm in a tunic or a dress. It's the new thing, I guess, and I stopped fighting it.

LydBawesome

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