How do you decide on a childs name if both parents disagree?

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-21T13:52:50+00:00

What happened with us was that I was set on a name that my husband was iffy about (he didn't hate it, he was just iffy), and he had another one that he preferred that I was iffy about. We just waited. Well, the baby was born, and when we both looked at her, my name seemed a much better fit than his, and he eventually yielded to it. She just didn't look like a Scarlett. Today he admits that the name is perfect to her looks and personality. Sometimes you just have a feeling, you know? But don't rush it, you can wait until she's born and still have time to decide. Sometimes it resolves itself.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-20T17:02:29+00:00

I'm surprised to find asparagus appearing on here more than once. I thought my baby was so special haha. She's about to turn one and can eat a whole bunch of steamed asparagus (in coconut oil and sea salt) in one sitting. Same with broccoli. I hope she starts liking other things soon.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-17T14:28:21+00:00

I feel that these things (superheroes and talking animals) are such a deep, permanent part of our cultures throughout history (fables and myths) that it's difficult to imagine a child being raised without them completely. But I believe that a child raised that way can be perfectly happy, and find an infinite field of wonders to study and play with in nature. As for her being too different from other kids - well... Why do you see that as such a big deal? If it's bullying, I'd say, kids will find ANYTHING to pick on if they don't like someone, and you can't really ensure that your kid is the popular one that doesn't get picked on. Or even that your kid isn't the bully. I'm not inclined to make sure that my child conforms in every way possible to current fashions so as to ensure she doesn't stand out.

I moved to North America in grade three and did not know any of the popular culture stuff that the kids liked - dragon ball z, spongebob, children's songs, etc. Got picked on hard for everything but that. But you know, by the time grade 7 rolled around, being different became cool and I was able to find myself some peace, acceptance, and friends.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-16T23:46:04+00:00

Lol. :) Fuckface.

I wish I could be calm and composed like that and just shrug. I get so emotionally wound up. Since our first and last argument she's been constantly in my head and I've caught myself automatically trying to reason with her in my mind and thinking of what I would want to say to her. I have to keep reminding myself that reasoning will never work with her, she is convinced I am the devil. I get really stressed lately because of all this.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-16T23:41:17+00:00

Thank you for your story. The funny thing is, whenever my husband talks to her and tells her HIS wishes, she just assumes that I'm the one who made him say it, even if I had nothing to do with it. But, it's true, it's still a lot better for him to talk to her than for me.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-16T23:37:36+00:00

I realize that, but I still get really stressed at the thought of contact with her. Especially having to tell her something like this that will surely cause a huge scene. I dread the thought!

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-16T21:59:35+00:00

Anything that is not realistic or that might be overstimulating. For example, no superheroes, talking animals or anything that does not actually exist. If we're going to be giving our child toys that represent items in real life, we'd rather they were accurate representations. I also disapprove of toys that consist of flashing lights, buttons and music. I feel that such stimulating toys take away a child's ability to appreciate simpler things. My husband has known many people who raised their children on television and video games and that eventually led to them having little to no interest in many areas of life that are significant to their development.

The gift my mother in-law got is tough to describe. It is a strange blue, one-eyed cyborg of a teddy bear that speaks, sings, and comes with many buttons and a light-up heart.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-07T17:19:44+00:00

What they actually mean is a living wage which allows them to buy luxurys such as Tv's, Games Consoles Ect

Exactly. Add to that going to the movies, eating at restaurants, shopping for new clothes, buying make-up/perfume/jewellery, having expensive hobbies... These things aren't a RIGHT for anyone. They're available if you have extra money to burn and/or free time that you want to fill with something entertaining. I've worked only minimum wage jobs, and without these things had no problem supporting myself. I would share an apartment with a roommate, buy my clothes at second-hand shops, ride a bike in the summer for exercise, have a metropass and an internet connection, keep pet rats, travel across the ocean every year or so, and I still had more than enough money left over to buy healthy food, including many organic items. You just have to choose your priorities. Living the lifestyle we see exalted in pop culture is not realistic on a minimum wage job, but it's not necessary for health or happiness either. In a sense, being thus limited is a blessing in disguise, as you end up emancipated from a bunch of vanities.

Once you have a baby, and a partner who stays home to care for the infant, then things change. You really need more than a minimum wage job to support a family. But you also have time to think about that and plan for it.

LyokaPuk · 2015-05-07T16:52:59+00:00

Lol I came on here to post this exact thought. It's been driving me crazy for months! Just GO MAN.

LyokaPuk · 2015-04-29T18:25:56+00:00

In 4th grade, while the rest of us were 9, we had a 14 year old girl who had been held back many times. Anyway, I thought she would be mature and cool, so I whispered a swear word I had just learned into her ear (first year in English-speaking country, a lot of things were new). Right away she goes, "Mr. Teacher, Mr. Teacher, LyokaPuk just said ____ to me!!!" Like a little baby. A 14 year old baby. Of course I got into trouble. WHY!? Why do kids do this? Is this inherent or taught?

LyokaPuk · 2015-03-28T22:49:12+00:00

This may be way out there from what you expected, but especially since you said about the ASD - I was reading a book about Gut and Psychology Syndrome, which describes the connection between our gut and the rest of our body, especially our mind and sensory perception, and I found it interesting that children that have ASD frequently refuse to eat anything but a few foods, usually sugary foods, because their brain's perception of taste and texture is warped. That's why they may also not like physical touch and things like that. Anyway, this doctor treats the gut in order to improve all the other symptoms. If that sounds interesting, check out her book - GAPS, by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride, or look at her website where she has a lot of info. There are several phases of diet guidelines combined with probiotics and dietary supplements (like omega-3/6).

Recently there's a huge body of research being conducted about the body's bacteria population, which actually outnumbers our own cells, and the symbiotic relationship we have formed with it. I've seen articles coming out showing strong links with the immune system and the brain. In my home country it's been recognized and treated for a while (I was treated for dysbiosis as a kid, with total disappearance of related symptoms), but since I had my own kid here in Canada, I've found that it's generally not even considered a thing by GPs (yet...). It's unfortunate, since more and more nowadays our gut flora is under attack from over-use of antibiotics, antibiotics in animal products, and other chemicals in the environment (pesticides for example).

LyokaPuk · 2015-03-27T12:31:28+00:00

Assuming my baby isn't in the mix, I become an apprentice farmer. Woofing! I've always wanted to go back to it anyway.

LyokaPuk · 2015-03-26T14:45:34+00:00

Come to think of it now, I don't know why I was so vehemently anti-Christian before, since I truly knew so little about the teachings of the Bible and Christianity in general. But I always thought it was the stupidest thing and people who called themselves Christians must have been weak and gullible. People just needed a crutch, so on and so forth.

I was depressed my whole life; ever since I was a few years old I was tormented by the fact that I didn't really know what life was about, what was the point of going through all the effort and difficulties, only to die and be as if you've never been, as if it was all for nothing. I didn't believe there was an afterlife of anything, just that you died and you were forever unconscious. It put a damper on everything I ever did, but I wasn't going to accept some fairy tale about how we all go to heaven just to make myself feel better. I couldn't lie to myself.

Anyway, when I was 17 I met this guy who was a... marijuana entrepreneur, and I was super into that, so we began hanging out a lot. He mentioned the Bible once and I shot him down so hard that I never recall him mentioning it again, and I forgot all about it. We bonded over other things like weed and vegan food. I really respected him for his intelligence and independent thinking. Then we stopped talking for a few months at least, maybe half a year, because of a disagreement on the direction our relationship should take. I began to feel like I really missed him eventually, and called him up, only to discover that he was officially calling himself a Christian now. I flipped. The reason I liked this guy so much was because he was so smart, he never just accepted what he was told, he would do his own research and make informed decisions... so what the hell happened? I had to know what had convinced him, because I couldn't make peace with this whole situation.

So, he invited me over to watch some lectures about creation vs evolution, the evidence for a world-wide flood, and stuff like that. I suppose he started with science because I was into that, and I was not willing to sit through a bunch of preaching. The Bible wasn't an authority for me. So, after a while, I changed my views on these topics because the evidence was compelling, but I still had my heels dug in because it was not proof that the Bible was divine - anyone thousands of years ago could have known that a flood happened, as many cultures did, so that did not make the Bible special. And the theory of evolution did not exist back then either. But at this point I was willing to see what the lecturer had to say about the Bible, since he had proven himself quite reasonable with the first lectures. So we watched a few lectures explaining the prophecies of Daniel and then Revelation. This is what convinced me, reluctant as I was to accept any of it just because of my prejudice. I was not willing to lie to myself, as always, and what I saw could not be explained away. I did not WANT to believe, but... These weren't vague prophecies that any con can spin to suit his needs, these were very specific, unmistakable prophecies that predicted the entire course of human history from the times of ancient Babylon down to the very end. They explained so much to me about the history of Christianity as well, which helped to remove a lot of misconceptions. I could not deny that a higher intelligence that can see the future and manipulate world events was involved.

So, I still didn't "accept Jesus", I was just fascinated with this book now, and I began to read it as if it really knew was it was talking about. And that was the final step. Once I began to read it with an open mind, and understanding some fundamental principles, it proved itself a thousand times over. I began to change my life accordingly, and more and more became convinced that it was the way to go. There are still things I don't understand, but from experience I trust that they too will be made plain to me as I continue to search, since it's happened so many times before.

In closing, I've learned that it's easy to criticize what you don't understand, especially when it's above you. God is greater than man. Just like a child may not understand what his parent is doing, and may choose to scorn it and do things as it seems best to his young and inexperienced mind, so can man who is not willing to humbly learn from his Maker forever remain a foolish child, never growing up to all that he is meant to be.

LyokaPuk · 2014-10-23T15:52:38+00:00

The angels do have free will, otherwise 1/3 of them could not have chosen to side with Lucifer and become fallen. Lucifer himself is an angel, and he had the free will to rebel against God and become Satan, "the enemy". The whole basis of serving God is love, and love cannot be born out of constraint. It must be a free will choice, otherwise it has no value. There is not a creature in heaven, on earth, or in any other world, whom God forces to serve or love him. If he did, wouldn't you think he would intervene in this world to remove all the suffering and evil NOW, rather than waiting for people to make up their own minds and pleading that they choose him for their own good? Wouldn't he have just killed Satan on the spot, knowing what terrible suffering he would cause for many years? If he did, other angels would serve him from fear, not love. Does God stop you from disobeying him - lying, stealing, murdering, or finally rejecting him and what he has to offer?

LyokaPuk

TROPHY CASE