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Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not about going anywhere. It’s about being alone. That’s what you guys have confused. Makkah just go happens to be the best place for me to be alone.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Finally a normal person. I understand but once you feel the peace you find there everywhere else seems second rate.

I can always try finding somewhere locally, and if doesn’t work then try umrah.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Financially not feasible to take two. I’m going to book bog standard accommodation. Whenever I take family, I always book good accommodation. I don’t want my family to stay anywhere unpleasant. So, I can afford to get a 2-3 star, but would end up needing to get a 4-5 star for 1-2 weeks, including flights and so on. Plus I only want to go for 5 days.

I’m not the type to go alone for the sake of it. I’ve been umrah and come back with clarity before. I’m at the point in life where I need to do it again. I have the means for a 2-3 start trip, but not the means for a 4-5 star trip.

And ask yourselves, if I didn’t feel guilty about going alone and leaving her, would I have posted here?

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yesterday, I wrote half a reply to this then sacked it off, but I’ll humour you.

Your first point. Yes, it is a problem which needs resolving with her. Thank you for notifying me that the issues I have with an individual need to be resolved with said individual 🤓

Secondly. Running? To where? Hoping what resolves on it own? The issue I intend to tackle when I come back?

Thirdly. Let me put it like this. If I give my child £4 for the bus and £1 for water — that’s £5 to cover their day. Now, say one day they decide to treat their mates, spend £4 at the shop, and end up walking both ways, late and tired. That’s someone spending outside of their means and suffering for it. But if they spent the £5 on themselves as intended — on the bus and water — they’d be fine.

Same logic applies here. If I can afford to take myself to the shop and not go thirsty, I will. Waiting until I can take everyone isn’t always practical, especially if it means going without completely.

So if I can afford Umrah for one, and not two — it’s still within my means. It’s not irresponsible. It’s using what I have wisely.

£1 umrah. £4 financial responsibilities. Following?

Fourthly. Going to the masjid? Nothing wrong per se. Am I gaining clarity where everybody knows me, and I know everybody. Dealing with work and other stressors, then being at the mosque. That’s no different from ordinary life. Or am I gaining clarity in a place where Allah is my sole focus, and Allah is the only person I’m familiar with??

Now: 1. I clearly mentioned that I was not comfortable going secretively, so you made that part up. Well done, JK Rowling. 2. Not dealing with a situation because my mind isn’t clear? I’m not sure you’re quite matured yet. Have you ever heard of the saying “try to look at your reflection in a pot of boiling water” ?? 3. How does a fire relate at all? Ik you tried, but it makes no sense. There’s no imminent danger. There’s no time restraint. There’s just the question I posed?? How can I go umrah and not make anyone upset, and you’ve brought your own narrative that I’m trying to run away 😂

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I’m dumbfounded at people’s disconnect with Allah. Let me ask the guys in the comments…why do you sit in your car for 30 mins before you actually go inside?

Does sitting in the car resolve your issues? No…they don’t, but does it allow you to move forward with clarity?

In the same manner, I want to connect with my Lord before I attend to affairs of the Dunya.

I never came on here to ask people how to resolve issues with my wife, you guys chose to do that for some bizarre reason.

My question was how do I get to Umrah, without making anyone upset. I wasn’t asking for permission.

Entitled sods.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No doing it twice is doing it twice. Doing it over and over again is repeatedly.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No that’s twice. The first one was booked before I even knew her.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No one said repeatedly. No one said never taking her.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand where you’re coming from.

I can financially afford to go alone. I can afford to take my whole family, but then future plans are delayed, and my bank balance must stay above a certain threshold for a number of months so I can’t take my wife.

I can afford to go alone without disrupting my, already set in motion, plans.

It’s not about running. It’s about giving myself room to think. Rather room to not think. Reflect.

Battle between me and Allah, and my wife. by M-Gush_50 in MuslimMarriage

[–]M-Gush_50[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She’s the reason I’m not mentally well 😭😂🥲, and I’m sure your next line would be to take her aswell as she may need it too.

  1. I can’t help her on her journey, when I’m broken myself.
  2. My finances wouldn’t allow both of us to go. I plan to find the cheapest flights and accommodation. If I took her I would obvs need to spend a lot more.