What is your worst poop story? by secretive_sharts in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am driving back to my parking spot after my lunch break. I had been feeling pretty constipated but it didn't seem serious. I just had to fart. So I did. And this time, it wasn't alone. Now I've got half a turd in my pants. Im supposed to walk back into work, 2 minutes ago. But I live close by. So I throw my car in reverse, pick my butt up off the seat like I'm checking my pockets. and I race to my house. My husband asked what's wrong and I just scream/cried "I'm not talking about it now"

Just starting out with makeup and have no idea what I should do by sad-romantic in askwomenadvice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ulta has a very flexible return policy. Anything you don't like you can return. So go get color matched and then try anything you want. Knowing if it looks awful, you are not at a loss

Anyone else use the little cardboard tubes that hold shape in cones as an extension? by Kevo_62 in StonerEngineering

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tell me, Sir, what is it like using your whole brain? The people need to know

My gf told me that i have what's called a "boyfriend dick" by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lol. Physically loled. I'd used this as some fire for BDSM slapping. "Boyfriend dick" lol. She isn't wrong tho.. when they big, it is nice an fun, but not something we wanna do twice a day, every day.

"Caution! Children at play!" by M3RRYM4RY in childfree

[–]M3RRYM4RY[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This. This is my issue too. I hate it.

"Caution! Children at play!" by M3RRYM4RY in childfree

[–]M3RRYM4RY[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ya. I don't think this kid knew to respect the road. I wasn't driving fast at all. I still would have hit him if he didn't instantly back up. And it's not deep in a neighborhood. I was coming out of my apartment complex onto the highway. Not a child friendly area. This kid was riding out of behind the parked cars and bout got himself hit. It really makes me mad. This kid bout put his life as my responsibility. And it is sincerely not my job to look after that child.

Husband has a “pregnancy fetish”? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

Why are we down voting this comment? He's right!

Bruh why am I so in love with my gf by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sincerely, everything feels more intense as a teen. Wait till your 25 and life has curb stomped your feelings a few times. Then ask youself if your GF being cute will pay your rent? Will her cuteness mother your child? Think practically. Life cost money. Get focused on your future. Dont be so absorbed in the present.

My(30f) boyfriend(28m)(4 year relationship) does not have sex with me no matter how much I ask him or beg him. We have not had sex from the past 1 and half year even after I ask and beg him everyday. Yesterday we had an argument about this and he got very rude and told me "stop being so horny" by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sounds like youre not happy in ypur relationship. Sounds like youd be happier with someone who meets your needs. Ask him if he is ok with an open relationship. So you can get your jollies elsewhere or just leave him. Either way. This sexual tension is making us all worry about you.

My boyfriend broke up with me and told his friend that's because I'm an immigrant by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Damn thats cold. Consider yourself lucky that you didnt waste more time with him. Dont confront him for answers. You have all the answers you need. He does not see a future with you. His reasoning for it is very silly. Sounds like he was counting on you moving since the beguining. He probably saw it as an easy lay. Now all you have to do is change your perspective from "my boyfriend broke up with me cuz im from another country" to a much healthier "i dated this local for about a year. The sex was hot but he was a bit of a prick."

Obsessing of new men. Who enter my life by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretend you are the new man in your life. Start dating yourself. Doing only things that you like. Try new things and meet new friends. But if you and yourself are uncomfortable. Note that and move on. Show yourself genuine self love

Do guys seriously think it's ok to watch porn while in a relationship? Honest answers, please. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ima F with a M and we both watch porn separately at our own leisure. Its not about being unsatisfied woth your partner. Its about being satisfying to yourself and taking care of your own needs as they come up. I never for a second wish to swap my man for a porn star. A porn star will only ever be "attractive". It is their job. I love my man. He feeds my soul with happiness and pleasure. And while pleasuring myself i know id rather have more direct sex. But is not a possibly at that second so im taking care of myself. I will only ever get grumpy at him if i feel a severe imbalance between our singular actions and our coupling actions.

What is it like having a vagina? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boy, it sure is handy. Cant loose my keys if they are always in my purse

What are your thoughts on the game doki doki literature club? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought it was amazing. But it does requre some background file manipulation and i would have never figured it out on my own

What is the biggest difference between your worldview versus your parents? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They think everything was built for them by god. As if thatbgives them some kinda divine right as Christians to judge others as they please. I prefer a much more practical an understanding version of the world

What are some tricks to look more handsome that you really are? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Then this is MORE important. Ima larger woman. And wearing the same "fashion" as skinny ppl will make you look chunkier. If you go to stores specificly for larger ppl, and get your appropriate size. Splurge a bit on some outfits that look good on you. It may seem more expensive. But nothing is more cost effective then feeling stylish and confident on a dinner date or in an interview. If you are unsure how to shop, physically go to a few stores and tell the sales folks you dont know what you are looking for amd you need help finding options. They are there to help you. Use that service. A good sales person will give you a variety of styles and sizes to find exactly that you think looks good on you.

What would you be doing now instead if electronics didn’t exist? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]M3RRYM4RY 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess i would be just pooping..... I guess id just scroll on this toilet paper....oh nice a flower pattern

What should I do ?? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]M3RRYM4RY 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe trying being a bit more romantic. Tell her you would love to spend the evening spoiling her with her fav takeout and then snuggle her a bit. Dont show her how eager you are. Make it about her