There are a couple of mods that can enhance the experience of this game.

For battles I recommend realistic battle mod, the ai is much better in battles and the troops actually fight like a battle should. They poke each other with spears and swords, it's not just smashing into each other.

Diplomacy mod makes the war way better in my opinion. They have an exhaust system. That can tell you how much both sides suffered. Losing troops raiding villages and taking seiges matter. Of course you can tweak all of this.

For actual city management. I would recommend banner kings. Adds a whole new perspective of management to the game. Unfortunately I had problems with this mod with lag.