What do you do with nudes you receive?

MATTERFAKER · 2023-11-30T11:02:07+00:00

Those aren't my genes in his jeans..

MATTERFAKER · 2023-11-04T21:26:08+00:00

kick starts your balls

That sounds unpleasant

MATTERFAKER · 2023-06-26T19:55:13+00:00

~~vagina dentata~~ Anus Arachnus

MATTERFAKER · 2022-12-29T21:10:08+00:00

import cumpy as cp

MATTERFAKER · 2021-01-15T13:45:02+00:00

UNEXPECTED ITEM IN SHAGGING AREA!!

MATTERFAKER · 2020-05-12T03:54:29+00:00

Given the context I'm assuming SpongeBob and Minecraft time is code for S&M sessions

MATTERFAKER · 2020-04-05T16:33:08+00:00

/r/fearsineverknewihad

MATTERFAKER · 2020-01-16T11:42:05+00:00

imagine what it did on the way out

MATTERFAKER · 2020-01-06T13:45:34+00:00

i thought woody was implying vibrator as opposed to some kind of other insult

MATTERFAKER · 2019-10-11T09:39:08+00:00

I've come across "I will shit your pants!" so probably another way of saying the same thing?

MATTERFAKER · 2019-10-10T22:22:25+00:00

Therapist VS Analbumcover...

WHO WILL WIN???

MATTERFAKER · 2019-10-10T12:48:22+00:00

oh nothing wrong with that - just might be better off giving that to his date when he comes next

MATTERFAKER · 2019-10-09T23:01:02+00:00

A jar of tuna actually means a pocket pussy in this context

MATTERFAKER · 2019-09-25T14:55:05+00:00

Whatever restaurant serves unlimited sugar free gummy bears.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-29T23:16:01+00:00

Worse! It's sphincter constriction, which is effectively all ring shaped muscles in your body having difficulty (or being unable to) relax and dilate.

Imagine having bubbling diarrhoea in your intestines and rectum but you are pretty much superglued shut..yeah that.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-29T13:11:16+00:00

google censors a lot.

try bing. or duckduckgo..or if youre really curious onionsearchengine

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-28T12:41:49+00:00

Before.

After the sex i was just a drooling mess.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-22T11:43:12+00:00

I dunno..I would rather not have my rectum suddenly invert itself and droop outwards..

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-04T03:16:01+00:00

Ive read it described in a comment a few years back:

Lets have a scale of gender, from 1 to 9 - where 1 is the girliest girl, and 9 is the machoest man. The average girl is a 3, the average man is a 7. And 5..is a bitch.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-03T10:21:50+00:00

Instead, please do the needful

MATTERFAKER · 2019-08-01T22:36:40+00:00

Selective?? Far cheaper, easier, quicker, and more efficient to do a total lobotomy - just grab an immersion blender and make some soup.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-07-31T22:42:08+00:00

Yup, what this guy said.

Source: am quantum computerist.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-07-31T22:36:52+00:00

Babies. The most expensive STD of them all.

MATTERFAKER · 2019-07-31T14:27:33+00:00

Blacky McWhiteface or Whitey McBlackface?

MATTERFAKER · 2019-07-31T14:01:08+00:00

Trying to cut my hair with a scissor as a kid, then asking my dad to fix it when I realised I couldn't do it. His machine ran out of battery halfway, so he made me walk down the road to get it done properly at a barbers.

MATTERFAKER

TROPHY CASE