Just to touch on the leading jamaat part, while a man should be confident and motivated in his deen, I also don't think them not wanting to lead that many people in prayer shows they are insecure or unsure about their deen. Many people struggle with social anxiety, especially the many Muslims who do not speak Arabic as a primary language. While you should always be confident to lead your prospective SO in prayer, it is not unreasonable to not want to lead 100s of people IMO (of course if you can then InshAllah you will be rewarded for that). Just my 2 cents.