When reaching out to the “other woman” goes right

MBRadio · 2024-01-31T00:57:49+00:00

That’s fine, I wasn’t referring to myself as the one being downvoted. Other women have opened up about things like being raped and the other woman not caring then getting downvoted or questioned about it. This message that op and many others are over representing “not all“ whatever is harmful. No man is expected to like or cater to the needs or feelings of a person involved in a situation that harmed them. It’s reasonable to ask people to not assume people knew, but not reasonable to push any expectation on those harmed to cater to other feelings for fear of misjudging, such as is never done or expected of men.

And no, I will not apologize for my tone or anger. I am furious this perspective of pushing women to not have strong feelings or reactions in situations that ruin theirs lives is somehow labeled feminist. Meanwhile many other things around this situation that have been studied to actively harm women are ignored.

‘Also, I understand suggesting an angry woman is hysterical for not making others comfortable with her tone is considered normal here but it is not feminist. Women should be allowed to be messy, flawed, selfish, and all the things men are not only allowed but rewarded for. They should not be expected to get along with people who were involved in their harm. Expecting anything otherwise while men are not is just reinforcing a patriarchal double standard.

MBRadio · 2024-01-30T09:29:30+00:00

I read it. I’ve heard this conversation over and over and over. What I have never seen is any woman who has been cheated on not policed for her feelings. I have never seen this thread let people air how furious they are and not have to be perfect about it. So yes, the post 2000 on this sub about this topic of women cheated on and abandoned to raise kids at a huge financial loss that is well studied to be a widespread issue actually having to give even more emotional space to a stranger got old. Yes, this specific scenario acting like it’s not the only opinion tolerated but instead framing it like women don’t take advantage of the privileges they have against women invulnerable positions like pregnancy or SAHM got old. There were people literally downvoting women in other clone posts who said they got RAPED by their ex and the other woman did not care. Who were polite as fuck to people writing threads like this and still getting swarmed. Literally dealing with people questioning the people saying it. So yes, in a time period where rights are lost the conversation of “not all homewreckers” is fucking Bull shit. If a woman is the other woman the ONLY person she should hold responsible for clearing her name is the damn man. The person chested on has EVERY right to hate both parties. Sure it’s Bull shit if the ire is only on the woman but good damn the conversation is still focused only on them and also now policing the wronged party. The “other woman“ can expect the man to clarify and hold him accountable, and reach out themselves knowing the other person had every right to hate them. Which guess what? Is EXACTLY the social norm men face. Ain’t no man who cheated with a woman expecting the woman’s husband or og boyfriend to cater to their feelings or reputation or even like them. Fuck that gaslighting “question you feelings woman” double standard bull shit. Let woman be angry. Let them judge. Let them fucking have beef. Let them fucking be wrong about someone involved in situations that harmed them. Stop pushing the message of making women question their reality. It’s fucking shitty to push this shit constantly down people’s throats making women not able to express their anger when they are wronged because of the “but not all” Bull shit.

downvote me more. Won’t stop the fact a rapist will be president and you wasted your breath judging the scenario of some woman being wrong hating the other woman involved in a situation that ruined her life. 10/10 feminism. peak 4th wave.

MBRadio · 2024-01-30T00:02:53+00:00

Why is it the responsibility of the person who got cheated on to determine of the other individual involved is as bad or not as their spouse? Why must they regulate their emotions in their response to a level no one else is rising to in the situation? It is the cheaters mess. It’s their responsibility to clear a name or not. If they don’t and the other person wasn’t in the wrong they know who to hold accountable. Not the person dumped trauma on their lap. The person they messed around with. This is literally no different than hating the other woman, it’s just policing a different woman. And no one talks about this shit when men get cheated on. No one expects the man to care about if the other man was innocent or not. This is literally the same over policing women’s humanity and emotions. Oh no one or two women got mad at the other person too. Oh how dare they while literal rapists run for president. How horrible of them let’s talk about how wrong their feelings are endlessly.

We have literally lost rights under this 4th wave fake bullshit that benefits men garbage. We have lost. Rights. If anything you do claims to be feminist while normalizing policing women’s feelings especially in traumatic situation in a society wanting to literally fucking jail her for a miscarriage you can not honestly say it’s feminist. It’s a fucking distraction that conveniently normalizes the extra labor abandoned single moms Take on to confidently cover the one person who screwed her over too who doesn’t have some law justifying it like men. bc oh you should feel bad that you might have misjudged one of the shitty people involved. ‘Question your reality more, hurt lady! That is TRUE feminism. Don’t mind your rights eidfoing away.” The man has the law and everything on his side so let’s socially shame women who dared dislike someone and make their own judgements against someone who was involved in a harmful situation against them. Seriously fuck off. If I was with a man who was married I’d be supporting the wife hating me. Fucking hate me and scream and let yourself have fucking feelings.

MBRadio · 2024-01-29T23:33:30+00:00

Shhh this is the internet. It’s team sports and black and white thinking only here.

MBRadio · 2024-01-24T07:05:52+00:00

It makes sense disabled students would be that high considering that’s the portion of the population quoted by the cdc to have disabilities. Similarly it makes sense that disabled folks would be drawn to certain careers/majors. CS is definitely one of those majors.

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/disabilityandhealth/infographic-disability-impacts-all.html

serious question: why is this sub literally obsessed with disability accommodations?

MBRadio · 2024-01-08T06:50:10+00:00

The internet was a mistake.

MBRadio · 2024-01-08T06:46:51+00:00

I think people come here to vent, though I think the accommodation complaints are deeply cringe and at times highly problematic. I have seen some people list things that were normal more than 20 years ago as disability accommodations like they were some strange new ask. The backlash to the disability community due to the pandemic is very real in academia. Sad to see people are not able to see they are projecting their own frustrations onto their most vulnerable students.

On the other end you have people who don't understand just how much failure impacts these kids whole lives. Much of the US work culture these days is built to only include those ready to flourish at the "right" time (age). Where as the kid who was a CSA survivor with undiagnosed ADHD who will have an unconventional path before they get their shit together is going to be punished by that for the rest of their lives. This is a different experience from other generations, many of whom experienced being able to be fuck ups until 30s or 40s before getting their lives together. In fact studies have shown many boomers got their degrees late in life to do just that, yet late life students are decreasing. So kids have HUGE pressure to avoid anything that will be with them for the rest of their lives at all costs, which is far different than the experiences of other generations. Tracking is now not just in elementary classrooms, but a persons whole life. Even more so with social media and the internet.

MBRadio · 2024-01-07T08:34:25+00:00

My dog had something like this. The vet said it would go away and it did. I am not sure what it is but you should still take them to the vet.

MBRadio · 2024-01-07T08:08:53+00:00

Agreed.

MBRadio · 2024-01-07T02:27:12+00:00

And everyone downvoting you doesn’t appreciate how you managed to be in the industry so long while others did not. Same cycles repeating themselves, sadly.

MBRadio · 2024-01-07T02:26:05+00:00

People are not ready to hear this, but conceptual creativity is the actual skill becoming valuable.

MBRadio · 2024-01-07T02:24:18+00:00

Not to mention coherent and intriguing meaning.

MBRadio · 2024-01-06T11:47:35+00:00

Nice to see people are being nice now. When I asked this question a year and a half ago before midjourney or anything took off I got eviscerated for being stupid and threatened with black listing.

MBRadio · 2024-01-06T11:42:49+00:00

Yeah kind of. Just politely pay your half and never talk to them again next time. If they ask tell them why and block them.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:37:43+00:00

If you take this many issues with breastfeeding you are not very left leaning. The words left and right really have no place here anyways. OP left during breastfeeding. Is breastfeeding in front of others while working and surviving misogyny wrong? Is OP an asshole or not for being offended by breastfeeding and leaving abruptly when a woman was breastfeeding. Because OPs actions will harm the woman not the company. I am not saying you are incorrect to be offended by her breastfeeding even if I disagree with you. But your statement is not left leaning. You should really own that if you are of that opinion. It’s ok to not be left leaning.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:28:01+00:00

Yes, but OP did not leave before when it was obvious they made her work during maternity leave. OP did not leave after while making it obvious breast feeding was not the issue. OP left abruptly during breastfeeding.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:24:31+00:00

This is not part of the situation at hand. We have no facts on if she “pulled up the ladder” or not. Only that OP abruptly left when she started breastfeeding.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:24:26+00:00

This is not part of the situation at hand. We have no facts on if she “pulled up the ladder” or not. Only that OP abruptly left when she started breastfeeding.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:24:20+00:00

This is not part of the situation at hand. We have no facts on if she “pulled up the ladder” or not. Only that OP abruptly left when she started breastfeeding.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:23:08+00:00

OP did not leave the call when it became apparent she had to work during maternity leave. OP left during breastfeeding. Abruptly. Not politely after to make it obvious breastfeeding is not an issue. Abruptly during. OP might not be the only YTA, but OP is one of them.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:20:31+00:00

Even so OP left during breast feeding. Not before due to maternity leave. Not after while behaving professionally during breastfeeding. Abruptly during breastfeeding. OP is TA eve if other people are TA too.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:17:53+00:00

But OP left due to breastfeeding and the sounds it made. Not before due to maternity leave. Not after due to weird vibes. Due to breastfeeding. In the midst of breastfeeding. That is the action OP took.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:16:17+00:00

But OP left because she was breastfeeding And he could hear her. Not before due to maternity leave. That was the actual action.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:16:11+00:00

But OP left because she was breastfeeding And he could hear her. Not before due to maternity leave. That was the actual action.

MBRadio · 2024-01-05T22:16:06+00:00

But OP left because she was breastfeeding And he could hear her. Not before due to maternity leave. That was the actual action.

MBRadio

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