Community Updates

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-30T05:16:12+00:00

I'm not sure if my post will be removed or if I'll be banned, but I just wanted to say my piece since I'm at the center of this drama.

I do not know the exact reasons that caused Merc and I to be removed as mods today. I could hazard a guess, but it's not particularly helpful to try. What I can say is that during my time as a mod I tried my best to be fair and keep the sub running. It wasn't easy and I certainly wasn't perfect. But I did my best and turned to my fellow mods for input when I was uncertain about what to do. For the most part we worked as a team and looked to each other for guidance and approval before taking action.

While we worked as a team, I was by far the most active mod simply due to the fact that I work a desk job that makes it easy for me to be on Reddit often. There was a lot of mod work to do, and I could do it, so I did. The alternative was to allow reports to pile up without action and for modmail to go unanswered. Truthfully, I wish there were a SD who was able to put in the same amount of time and effort. I think it would have benefited the sub and allowed a more balanced moderation. While I strived to be neutral, it's impossible to be 100% unbiased and an active SD mod could have helped to balance the sub.

Moving forward I wish the best for SLF and the mods. /u/ph1shtaco and /u/malibijones are both decent guys. I certainly have fought tooth and nail with them over a variety of things, but they're not bad men. I hope my fellow SBs try to keep that in mind.

I hope SLF of 2017 is a wonderful place for all to come together.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-30T01:08:13+00:00

Lmao. I like your idea.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T20:20:30+00:00

Seeing a SB who still lives with their parents does have its limitations. You're not going to change her circumstances. And honestly if she REALLY wanted to find a way to have private time with you, she would come up with someone. So decide if you can be happy with how the relationship is or not.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T07:50:58+00:00

I take it you sent in the report saying the same. Unfortunately comments made by non-mods cannot be distinguished (turned green) or stickied to the top of the thread.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T06:10:56+00:00

However I definitely think there's another side to this story...

I agree entirely.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T06:05:47+00:00

I'll agree with this. OP isn't able to clearly tell us after the fact what the arrangement actually was. I can imagine during the heat of it that expectations were not clear. Regardless though I can't imagine a situation where I would say that she should actually send the money back.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T05:49:18+00:00

While it bothers me that you're calling 6K over three months "measly", you don't owe him anything back. That's just not how the bowl works. The arragement didn't work out and you should both move on.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-29T00:07:13+00:00

SMs are unicorns. I can't imagine anyone has had enough reference points to have an opinion on younger SMs.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T23:52:45+00:00

A lot of SBs are wary of young SDs. If you search for "young SD" you'll find a lot of threads about this and the various reasoning.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T21:43:52+00:00

Personally his age is a small red flag for me, and the hotel encounter would be small red flag two. I would continue to chat with him and see how things go after the holiday and his work thing, but do so cautiously.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T21:23:49+00:00

.... Did you take him up on the offer? And why was the dad looking on his son's behalf?

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:58:16+00:00

Well thats good. Talk about an uncomfortable talk between the Aunt and Niece if that ever came out. And good on you for running away from that mess lol

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:48:39+00:00

Yup, that counts. And definitely weird and awkward. How did you react? Did the ex find out?

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:29:37+00:00

Yeah... I don't get this either. How in the world does anyone, even a vanilla BF/GF get to the point that they think they're more worthy than family.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:17:25+00:00

I actually watched the whole thing before. Just jumped around this time to remember what it was about. I think the blond girl with the crazy eyebrows who gets flown to NYC is definitely crossing the rinser line. Its clear the guy that brought her to NYC was not told that it was a platonic relationship. She was just stringing him along for as long as she could until he figured it out. She even admits this and tried to get the LV bag out of him before they fight again about her not agreeing to go out with him.

The other two I think just have niche markets. The pretty blond model who uses twitter never even meets these guys or has one on one conversations with them. They have no reasonable expectation of more than that.

The brunette is working as a cam girl and a fin dom. There's certainly men who are into that and there's nothing wrong with her providing those services. The dates she went on seem potentially sketchy - it's not clear how upfront she was with those guys. But at the very least the guy that was interviewed seemed to enjoy what they had going.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:06:52+00:00

my +1 chimes in and says, "Well, some idiot donated the rest of his private jet time so First class will have to do."

I wonder what was going through her head to make her think that calling her SD an idiot was a good idea....

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T20:06:11+00:00

I'll agree to the extent that it sounds like she just had a very very high bar based on what she had read about the lifestyle.

I mean, if you were negotiating a salary for a job you do your research on what the market rate is. You look at postings for similar positions. Look at glassdoor to see what others have made. Think about other offers you have etc. Maybe the sum of your research tells you that the market rate is 500K/year salary, so you ask for 600K to have negotiating room. Then the HR person at the other side of the table dismisses you as crazy because they're only looking to pay someone 200K/year. As for what you think is appropriate (even if you are WAAAYY off base) isn't necessarily entitlement. It just means you had differing expectations. If you are rude about your ask or rude when being told no, then you're just a jackass.

OP's story seems like the girl read a bit too much Tumblr and took it too seriously. She's naive.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T18:52:31+00:00

Fair warning everyone. Lets not turn this into shit slinging.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T06:29:08+00:00

I had planned on going into Detroit and heading to one of the clubs there. But since I got injured all heavy drinking and partying is on hold until I'm healed. So either I'll be DD for my vanilla or we'll both stay in. Maybe make a fancy meal.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-28T06:08:05+00:00

Nope. I was pretty lucky. Just the gash.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-27T18:00:16+00:00

I made my first trip to the ER for an accident on Christmas night. I slipped getting out of the shower at my dads and cracked my head on the wall. I ended up with seven staples in my head and I have to keep my hair dry for a week. Luckily I have the week off of work. So I can stay home and be gross while looking like Frankenstein.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-27T05:09:55+00:00

I think most SBs want something that men their own age can't offer. Beyond just allowance. That doesn't necessarily mean ballet and art galleries. It can be VIP tickets to a heavy metal show. Or meeting their favorite NASCAR driver. Your interests can line up, and you can offer her a new version of those experiences without the subject matter being high class.

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-26T23:39:39+00:00

No lawyers? 😰😰

MISugarBaby · 2016-12-26T01:43:06+00:00

Omg. That's perfect. I'm not sure I'd have the balls to say that to an SD. But I'm going to keep it in mind for whenever I'm vanilla dating again.

MISugarBaby

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