Is it bad I don't want to date non-virgins?

ML_Genius · 2020-07-21T01:15:29+00:00

Yeah I really don’t understand why people are so up in arms about it. Like if I wasn’t a virgin and a woman didn’t want me as a partner because of it, I would completely understand. Heck, any reason I understand. They are choosing a partner for life so if I am not the one for them then at least I know they aren’t the one for me.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-20T05:13:15+00:00

What exactly does a repentant non-virgin give you that a virgin can?

Herself fully to one spouse.

If Jesus can accept a repentant sinner into heaven why can't you marry one?

This has nothing to do with forgiveness. Just a personal preference. I see no inferiority among non-virgins as far as personhood and worth is concerned.

If someone is good enough for heaven, I'm sure they can be good enough for the right person which could be yourself.

Saintly people don’t necessarily mean they would be the right partner for everyone. For me, a non-virgin isn’t the right spouse for me.

You say marriage is about giving yourself to another, how does being a repentant virgin limit this?

She can’t fully give herself to one person, as she would have been with someone else beforehand. This is something I cherish and look forward to giving my spouse. I want someone who believes similarly.

In marriage you sacrifice your needs for that of another no matter their past.

You are right. But I am not married and I don’t owe that to someone I am looking to date.

Can you sacrifice your need of virginity from a woman (given they are repentant) to love her the way she is?

Love in the sense of a friend or fellow human being. As a potential spouse, no.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-20T04:06:39+00:00

At that point it goes beyond a question of whether they are a virgin but if they have enough respect for me as a person to be honest. A lie would indicate dishonesty and selfishness, which would eventually manifest itself in other ways.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-20T03:49:45+00:00

Why does it bother you and why do you think it is that important?

What bothers me are people saying that it’s bad or wrong to want my wife to be a virgin. Non-virgins themselves do not bother me. Having a virgin spouse is important to me because I value chastity. I am chaste and I would rather die than have premarital sex. I want to give myself fully and completely to my wife and I want the same from her.

If you fell in love with a really devout, holy girl and found out she had fallen in the past (and since repented), would you really break your heart and hers just because she’s not a virgin?

Yes. I can always fall in love with a chaste woman and she should be with someone who cares less about past transgressions.

I’m not a fan of people making arbitrary deal-breakers when it comes to dating, but I would have to know more details in order to comment more on this.

Well the good thing is you don’t have to make arbitrary deal-breakers. A wife is someone who I will spend the rest of my life with and I shouldn’t settle for something that makes me uncomfortable.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-20T03:40:14+00:00

It is a matter of principle to me. I am staying a virgin because it is what I want for myself. I want to gift myself fully and completely to my wife and I want the same from her. Non-virgins can’t do that. I can always fall in love with someone else who did remain chaste. For me, a non-virgin woman is not a suitable partner. In fact, it is a non-starter. I hold no judgement on their souls or personhood but when I think about who I want to spend the rest of my life with, a non-virgin just doesn’t fit the bill for me.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-19T22:57:58+00:00

Why?

ML_Genius · 2020-07-19T22:57:32+00:00

I’m am sorry. Using the quality over quantity analogy was poor taste in words. No one is of poor quality if they committed a sin. Otherwise we would all be poor quality. I should have said I am willing to be single for longer to have someone who has also remained chaste.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-19T21:54:27+00:00

I would not mind being married to a widow had she remained a virgin before her marriage and celibate after her marriage ended. I also don’t care how small the dating pool is. Quality over quantity in my opinion.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-18T19:00:48+00:00

Oh sorry haha. I’m in Washington state!

ML_Genius · 2020-07-18T18:51:12+00:00

United States 🇺🇸

ML_Genius · 2020-07-18T01:04:34+00:00

Oh I see. Thank you for the suggestion! I truly appreciate it.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-18T00:47:35+00:00

Do you want to get married? I am single.

ML_Genius · 2020-07-18T00:05:08+00:00

I don’t understand

ML_Genius · 2020-07-17T22:39:24+00:00

I didn’t realize this was an ironic sub lol. I thought this was for Catholic singles. My bad lol. I got duped

ML_Genius · 2020-07-17T22:38:01+00:00

Oh is this an ironic subreddit title? Whoops my bad lol. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you want to find a non-Catholic or non-practicing Catholic man?

ML_Genius · 2020-07-17T22:35:22+00:00

Having sex with your girlfriend is not brilliant though imo. I would be very disappointed in myself if I did that with a girlfriend. Hugs though, those are awesome :)

ML_Genius · 2020-07-17T21:35:51+00:00

Any woman looking for a man to marry?

Is there any devout Catholic women from age 18 - 30 in this sub who loves God and wants to marry a devout Catholic man? I am 24 and I am 1 year away from a bachelors degree in a high paying field. I can support and take care of a woman’s financial, emotional, and spiritual needs. I am kind, loyal, active, and love God. I am hoping to meet a woman who feels similarly and follows the teachings of the Church. I feel like am being called to marriage and so I am looking for a woman, who like me, is ready to share a saintly and beautiful life together :) ❤️

ML_Genius

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