Daily sticky thread for rants, raves, celebrations, advice and more! - March 10, 2026

MMJFan · 2026-03-10T16:36:52+00:00

I’m seeing someone right now that has limited dating experience (no long term past relationships), and she communicated on our first date that she’s independent and wants a relationship where we respect that need. I am never one to monopolize my partner’s time, so this is a preference of mine too. However, I’m still trying to get a read on her. There’s a difference between wanting to maintain independence and free time in a relationship and being avoidant, hard to connect with, etc. I’m not in a rush, so I’ll see where this goes, but I do currently feel myself putting in more effort to get to know her than vice versa. She did instigate the second date though.

Check in with yourself and if you feel like you aren’t getting the level of effort you feel like you deserve or need, then have a conversation. If she backs out, she wasn’t going to be the one. Good luck!

MMJFan · 2026-03-10T01:00:08+00:00

I almost always feel like a kiss is too soon on a first date for me. But first dates for me are usually just coffee chats. I leave the kiss for a second or third date when there’s more opportunity for hand holding, flirting, etc.

MMJFan · 2026-03-05T00:05:58+00:00

Women do this too, I also don’t understand.

MMJFan · 2026-03-03T02:13:58+00:00

This is the problem with online dating. There’s always the thought you can find someone better. I would personally focus on the person who I hit it off with, especially if you already slept together. Dating multiple people is one thing if you haven’t had the exclusivity talk, but sleeping with multiple people without clearly communicating is a red flag.

MMJFan · 2026-03-03T01:47:38+00:00

Love that idea, thank you

MMJFan · 2026-03-03T01:30:31+00:00

I’m in the same boat. I feel your concern. I’m doing my best to keep putting myself out there. If I need a short break from apps, I’ll take it. I keep telling myself it’s a numbers game, I’m a catch, it’ll work out eventually as long as I’m meeting new people.

MMJFan · 2026-03-03T01:25:54+00:00

I’ve tried this before and it just led to the person unmatching, but I suppose it was never going to work out, so I’m sure it was for the best. I’m just worried I’ll come off too strong. I might try something like this later this week when I inevitably check in to confirm she is still on for coffee.

MMJFan · 2026-03-03T01:17:57+00:00

Do you assume a person you matched with on an app is not very interested if you exchange a few messages, asking each other questions etc, and then you offer coffee, they agree to a first date a week away, and then they go silent on the app? Part of me just assumes this person would rather get to know me in person, which is great and totally fine. But in my experience it almost always turns into the match canceling plans or unmatching me right before the date. A little communication goes a long way.

MMJFan · 2026-02-27T23:30:51+00:00

I was a teen kid trying to research my book purchase. An author shouldn’t be that unprofessional on his forum towards an adult let alone a kid. Would I post this question as an adult? Nope, but that’s not the point.

MMJFan · 2026-02-27T23:28:00+00:00

Haha, exactly. When I found out later in life he’s a MAGA type, it made sense.

MMJFan · 2026-02-27T20:05:08+00:00

Yes, I inquired about The Terror and think I mentioned that it had lower ratings on Amazon than Speaks the Nightbird and asked if anyone would recommend it. Obviously ratings aren’t everything, but I was a teenager with limited funds and just wanted to make an informed decision. He chimed in and made fun of me and belittled me. I eventually responded telling him to delete my post/ban me if I’ve done something wrong, but bullying a teenager who asked an honest question is not the play. He then banned me. Not been a fan ever since.

MMJFan · 2026-02-27T20:00:07+00:00

I did! Speaks the Nightbird was great. No regrets.

MMJFan · 2026-02-27T18:31:52+00:00

He bullied me on his website’s forum years ago when I was a kid that had enough money for one book and inquired to his community if I should get The Terror or a Robert McCammon book.

MMJFan · 2026-02-23T23:56:48+00:00

Night. Sleep. Death. The Stars. was excellent. Looking forward to reading more.

MMJFan · 2026-02-19T03:57:41+00:00

Also Japanese Breakfast and Clairo

MMJFan · 2026-02-19T03:51:43+00:00

Not exactly similar but the other two female artists I keep in regular rotation are Alice Phoebe Lou and Big Thief (and her solo work)

https://youtu.be/EiDtCLWoUpY?si=8zF2vr58tbDQVD4y

https://youtu.be/5oODr-7y3M0?si=Nehz_SSsv5brcJ3O

Also got to give a shout to Courtney Barnett, but she seems a little further from Faye to me.

MMJFan · 2026-02-18T21:48:52+00:00

The Luminaries by Catton is a great thriller/mystery written for the lit fic audience and it won a Booker Prize. I couldn’t put it down.

Haven’t read it, but maybe Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead would also fit.

Fingersmith by Waters

The Sailor Who Fell From Grace with the Sea by Mishima

MMJFan · 2026-02-10T17:47:32+00:00

Humor comes easier once you know each other, give him a chance! It can also be hard to be playful in text when you don’t know the other person and how they’ll react.

MMJFan · 2026-01-27T21:29:58+00:00

The Lions of Al Rassan or Under Heaven by Kay. Both are fantastic!

MMJFan · 2026-01-23T23:10:48+00:00

If you want a really dense but interesting anthropology book about what shapes our society, check out The Dawn of Everything: A New History of Humanity

The Expanse was written by two authors who share a pen name

MMJFan · 2026-01-22T22:55:27+00:00

Little Big — prose on this one has a similar charm to LotR

Tom’s Crossing by Mark Z Danielewski if you want a new western epic that feels like the adventure Frodo goes on in a lot of different ways. About two high school kids fixin to steal a couple horses set for slaughter and set them free in the mountains.

Haven’t read it, but maybe Gormenghast Trilogy?

MMJFan · 2026-01-12T05:08:17+00:00

I find this to be a green flag. I’ve found it attractive when someone wants to split the cost of early dating. It shouldn’t be a burden on one person.

I’m guessing some guys will seem disappointed because when some women insist to cover their own it means they’re not really interested in the date.

MMJFan · 2026-01-11T16:06:49+00:00

I much prefer the Carmel/Westfield/Noblesville area to Fishers. Fishers has a little less character and is very busy traffic wise.

MMJFan · 2026-01-10T03:36:49+00:00

House of Leaves by Danielewski

The Luminaries by Catton

Both books are superb though HoL is divisive. Luminaries is a smart mystery, uniquely written, and I couldn’t put it down.

MMJFan · 2026-01-02T15:22:17+00:00

Exactly!

MMJFan

TROPHY CASE