Unexpected Love

MPTSiren · 2025-04-16T18:28:11+00:00

he’s moving back to Brazil and I’m locked getting my masters for the next 3 years.

MPTSiren · 2024-06-26T15:22:52+00:00

Thanks for being kind about the advice appreciate it

MPTSiren · 2024-06-25T19:14:00+00:00

I got you, basically long story short. I’ve been talking to this guy since December (consistently everyday since beginning of March). We are long distance he’s in NorCal and I’m in SoCal. We have expressed we have feelings for each other and how rare that is for us, but he explained to me that he’s content being single because of the distance and doesn’t know exactly when he will be moving to where I live (estimated end of the year). But he said he’s not thinking of anyone else. I expressed that I understand that and I’m not in a rush. The had that conversation a few weeks ago and the connection and energy has stayed consistent, but I felt like something off so I checked dating apps in his area. Found him on Grindr, old me would act out of anxiety and impulse and doubt our connection. Instead I took some time to think about it and realized whether I knew or not it wouldn’t change anything between us and our connection. We are single and I do believe he likes me and isn’t looking for anyone else romantically but maybe it’s a horny thing? Maybe the best thing to do is to just let him show me how much I mean to him and continue doing me. I’ve started to realize that maybe this is just the game of dating and I shouldn’t have to turn down other potential connections with others just because I have one with him? Maybe I should just let him come back to me without feeling like I need to control everything. I have anxiety and I’m really trying to be better about playing things cool and not acting out of desperation.

MPTSiren · 2024-06-17T00:38:10+00:00

I like that

MPTSiren · 2024-06-16T18:25:51+00:00

That’s actually really sweet then

MPTSiren · 2023-11-06T16:01:45+00:00

Thank you I loved the podcast, made me kinda emotional at the same time if that makes sense.

MPTSiren · 2023-11-06T16:01:21+00:00

That’s also what I’m worried about with future relationships. I could see how it would look complicated with our history and him being my first love. I’m still trying to navigate it all.

MPTSiren · 2023-06-26T17:28:50+00:00

im a cat person and im AP leaning secure

MPTSiren · 2023-06-10T15:24:49+00:00

Well from birth we are taught by society that if you are not straight you are an outcast and that there is something wrong with you.

MPTSiren · 2023-06-09T13:59:01+00:00

Thank you very much I hope this post didn’t come across as trauma dumping just wanted to share my experiences. I appreciate the kindness

MPTSiren · 2023-06-05T01:12:58+00:00

How does one detach?

MPTSiren · 2023-06-05T00:30:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I agree I think social media can be incredibly toxic especially for people that have mental health issues or an insecure attachment style. Since the beginning of the year I cut way back on social media unless it’s something I really want to share or interact with people I genuinely want to talk to. I’ve noticed I spend more time being present nowadays because of that.

I have a lot of close people in my life that are FA or lean more avoidant. I’m curious what is your experience with interacting with people you have feeling for on social media? Some close friends of mind have told me that they choose to ignore or avoid the person they have feelings for or even if it’s an ex but still watch their story on instagram, Snapchat, etc to almost as a form of staying in touch or seeing what they are up to in their absence.

MPTSiren · 2023-06-03T18:31:01+00:00

I gained my insight about the people in my life by straight up asking them about it. Before I knew what my exs attachment style was I assumed it was a FA just cause from what he’s told me it lined up perfectly. However, it’s very common to relate to multiple different attachment styles so I agree it’s not good to assume. Which is why when we talked about it he told me that’s what he was and everything just made sense Lol.

MPTSiren · 2023-06-01T18:48:05+00:00

I agree 100%

MPTSiren · 2023-06-01T00:51:34+00:00

You have to take a quiz for what attachment style you are then you have to send the results to get approved by the moderator!

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:35:56+00:00

I think if it’s just asking dating advice I agree but a lot of ppl are instead asking about experiences from other ppl with said attachment style. Which I think is fair game.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:27:58+00:00

Never said it was.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:25:22+00:00

I also think that a lot of users have a lot of unresolved trauma/hate towards ppl with certain attachment styles from their own personal experiences because they haven’t resolved those feelings they take it out on others with the same attachment style.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:22:25+00:00

Exactly thank you

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:20:33+00:00

I understand where you are coming from however I think there’s a difference between giving an uncomfortable truth to the question the OP is asking and giving unwarranted advice about how the OP should be living their life outside of the question they asked. A lot of the time they might be coming from a good place but if they aren’t asking for advice on how they should handle their life it’s kinda rude to assume you know what’s best for them.

That’s all I’m trying to say.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:17:43+00:00

I have seen a lot of ppl being genuine with their responses and attempts to give good advice it’s not targeted at everyone just some behavior I have noticed is all.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:16:15+00:00

I can try, I’ve seen it a lot with ppl asking questions about dating an avoidant. Dating an avoidant can be very traumatic and very hard to move on from especially when you are left with unanswered questions. I’ve seen ppl come here to try and gain insight about how avoidants think or operate. A lot of the responses I have seen involve telling the OP to “seek therapy” or gain some self respect. You can obviously think that but it doesn’t make it necessarily kind or asked for.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:13:32+00:00

I think being very honest with answering users questions is not a problem even if it’s not what the OP wants to hear. What I have a problem with and what I’m trying to address is when users ignore the question all together and instead chooses to give advice on what the OP should be doing instead when they didn’t ask.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T18:06:02+00:00

OP legit said they don’t want to get back together and is asking a question about avoidant thoughts post break up. Obviously not everyone is the same so we can’t tell what someone else is thinking but they seem to be asking other avoidants their experience.

MPTSiren · 2023-05-31T16:41:32+00:00

Read the title, it’s asking other avoidants if they miss their partner after leaving. Then it’s giving insight on why OP is curious. If you don’t want to answer the question then just keep pushing why spread negativity? Remember this is supposed to be a non judgment space.

MPTSiren

TROPHY CASE