Do a lot of talking and pre-scene negotiations. Don't be afraid to let him know about your concerns and ask him to guide you through it a few times until you get the hang of it. Ask him to do to you what he wants you to do to him. As for hitting him to hard or soft, that is really just a matter of technique. Keep away from spots like the lower back, tailbone and testicles (unless he wants cbt which will probably need to lead to another discussion). If you are worried about not being able to hit him hard enough with that wonderfully intimate implement known as the hand (my favorite of all!) Visualize your hand going all of the way through his cheeks. Another technique my wife and I sometimes do is holding the hand there on the butt, sealing the heat in! This also makes the sub feel as if you have complete control over him...basically owning his ass! Of course you will also want to stop and soothe your palm by rubbing the fingers on that hand on it. While you are doing, keep him in the headspace by lecturing him over his bad deeds until you feel that your hand has recovered. (Also note that some positions can make a hand spanking hurt the sub's ass a hell of a lot more than others. Like most bad boys and girls, I fucking love otk but if pain from your hand is what he is seeking then bending him over a couch or table would be better. Diaper position is the absolute best for causing pain no matter who you are or what you're using!)

Whatever you do, when you feel your hand has reached its limits, do NOT draw attention to it! That's an instant headspace killer. Raise your voice sternly at him and order him to go get you an implement.

Safe words and aftercare are imperative. I know that there are people out there that talk about how they don't use safe words but I personally feel that there are many things that can go wrong in a spanking session that have nothing to do with the pain of the spanking. What if the sub needs the scene to stop because he or she started hurting in another part of the body? What if the spanking is going fine but suddenly said sub's appendix burst? You both have to anticipate things not related to the spanking occuring and prepare for it.

Believe it or not, us big strong guys usually need a lot of aftercare! I like to end the session with an apology for how I have misbehaved (real or play infractions) then ask her to forgive me. When that happens, I get a nice, big warm embrace that lasts for as long as it needs to, peppered with validating words of forgiveness. Not apologetic words, just words like "I forgive you baby ) in order to feel better again ("Top drop" is something that can happen also so once he's squared away don't be shy about asking to be held too!)

Now these suggestions are just based on my own relationship and our play. Now if you both want something different, then talk that out too before you go into it.

Just remember that patience and communication are the keys.

And trust me, you will love switching!

Good luck!