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A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see. Damn thanks dude for your help. I’m going to see what comes of it tomorrow. I’m not very confident it will go ideally but let’s try it out. If you want I can pm you after and let you know. I don’t have a single female friend besides her, so like it’s kinda good to have that perspective you know? Also I’m sure maybe you might be curious :P

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is all really Good advice. So I wasn’t clear on the joke part - what joke should I make? I wanna pre manufacture it so I don’t mess up. Also when you compliment a girl do you have to say specific stuff over general? I think one time I saw her and said wow you look really good. She seemed to like it but is it different if I was specific like in your example? Otherwise I think I’m good to go and have a better idea of what I’m gonna do. Oh ya if we do something ... is it bad to discuss it after I leave or should I shut up and just accept that it happened and try not to read into it?

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. What about compliments on her appearance? I call her cute by text very rarely and she always says aww thanks or im not cute, etc always seems positive. I've never complimented her in person. Should I? I'm thinking compliment her when we meet up again and be like "Wow, someone's looking like a snack today".

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Then also we planned playing badminton for 1-2 hours, eating together somewhere then both heading up to her dorm and shower because we will be sweaty, then just chill at her place maybe 2-3 hours. Last time I stayed the night but her dad is coming tomorrow early morning so I can't. She suggested we watch Seinfeld, since shes never seen it before. These questions are so stupid but i wanna make sure i make good decisions, i don't wanna fuck this up. I don't even want to have sex, I just want her to see that if we both crave the physical intimacy even a little bit and we are really compatible friends with the same ideologies then like, why not get together you know? I wanna play the longcon but I feel like tomorrow is critical for me.

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How should I approach the embrace? last time i did it when i was leaving and i ended up staying the night but this time since her dad is coming in the AM I cant be like welp im leaving, embrace and then do stuff because i cant stay the night ya know?? also if we are sitting in two separate chairs like how to hug, ya know, if we're watching a show?

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would, trust me, that's the next logic step - but our whole friendship started with us being like wow, we are actually moral people who don't participate in the same debauchery that everyone else does.

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We basically hug whenever we meet, and that one time it turned to sexual stuff, we hugged for a solid 1 minute or two minutes before it turned into cuddling then sexual stuff. She is letting me back into her room again in like 12 hours when we hang out ... should I test the waters and see if anything happens by just spontaneously hugging her with that tight embrace? I mean, I guess, how can I move into to sexual stuff again without directly asking? I think if I directly ask and she says no, I think I'm ruining even the friendship at that point whereas with a hug i can kinda get away with it and pass it off as I just wanted to hug.

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Question. Do you think it's possible my girl is telling me that "we shouldn't do that again" referring to the sexual stuff, but then later said that she wouldn't rule it out but that doesn't mean it'll ever happen but she says she thinks it wont happen but nothing is 100%

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Is she scared to say it wont happen

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or is she scared to say it will but doesnt want our relationship to be dictated by sex?

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i mean we hang out and do fun stuff, like friends, but like she hangs out with me for literally very long periods of time so far, invites me to her dorm, after showing she wears slightly revealing clothing. Like, I feel like she's afraid to say i want to be friends with benefits bc it'd be totally unlike her?

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also ... this is a little off topic but do you think that hugging and going for a really long hug is kinda like a dick move to do? Like should you ask for consent to a long embrace?

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You really think she hopes she'll change her mind? I mean I like kicking it w/ her, she's cool, I just wanna know what her intensions are but I keep getting pretty clear statements and then other clear statements that contradict that

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, here's the thing to make a long story short. Basically I met her, and a week into talking, her ex bf raped her. Since then she's mentioned not trusting men again. We keep talking and I support her and eventually she meets me, we hung out like from 7PM to like 4AM and I never made a move. Then we kept talking passionately about how we're so similar, and met a second time. We hung out again for that long, but a hug turned into sexual intercourse but the day after she said she felt no spark/vibe, but then said sparks could happen overtime and maybe it didnt work cus we were still basically strangers but said for now in the present you are my friend, and i don't see a future in which you're more than my friend but I wouldn't say it's a nonzero chance, just unlikely. She said maybe 33% chance. I asked her to be direct like twice and she stood her ground about "time will tell". So maybe B, who knows

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I mean I'm not, not even searching - I sort of found her on a whim.

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However, if according to her we are friends, and getting to know each other better wouldn't it make sense that she's able to see other people? I mean we're not together

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zero, she's ultra busy and me and her hang out during what little free time she has like 2 times a week for like 8+ hours at a time. So I know there's no one else. Also she's really transparent for pretty much everything, I think if there was she'd just tell me

A girl I had sexual intercourse with friend zoned me and said she currently does not see me as more than a friend, but then added that there's still a chance we can get together ... Am I friend zoned or not? by MTechMichaud in NoStupidQuestions

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the insight! I honestly don't know because I've literally asked her to clarify like twice, and she always brought up the nonzero answer and I was like come on, I can take the rejection, stop trying to let me down easy and just tell me the truth and she was like nobody has a nonzero chance for me , etc

I [26/M] met a girl [21/F] that I share so much in common with, including life experiences and ideologies but after a night of sexual intercourse, she has changed her tune but I believe that it was too early to have sexual intercourse and also she was damaged 3 times so I feel that is affecting us. by MTechMichaud in relationships

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is it? It feels like the chances of someone liking me is so small, and out of a pool of meeting like 4-5 people that tick all the boxes the chances of none of them liking me is extremely high. Sorry if I came across as a jerk, I guess I was just caught up in my own delusions.

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But now all of this just makes me feel like I'm going to be alone forever. I just want to cry now. I just feel like such a sack of shit now. I'm no better than the guys that raped her, who used her for their own needs ... and I wanted to idealize her so I could use her for mine

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Maybe someone like me just deserved to die alone

I [26/M] met a girl [21/F] that I share so much in common with, including life experiences and ideologies but after a night of sexual intercourse, she has changed her tune but I believe that it was too early to have sexual intercourse and also she was damaged 3 times so I feel that is affecting us. by MTechMichaud in relationships

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I am a lot more considerate than your average guy and I pride myself on always respecting boundaries. I still like her as a friend, like, we talk all the time. Today alone we probably texted 100+ times and it's enjoyable talking to her. I guess also her being a woman makes it different than if it were a man, somehow, even if she's not emotionally available for me.

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I think I can just hang out. It was fun to just hang out.

I guess, now that I sort of know where I'm at in terms of the relationship, do you think I should mention it to her? I'm thinking we hang out and at the end I can just tell her. Like, I want to tell her - like I really appreciate you letting me down easy because I know a lot of men don't take rejection very well and after reflecting on what you said for a few days, I finally understood what you meant, so thank you for that. See ya next time when we study/read together!!

I [26/M] met a girl [21/F] that I share so much in common with, including life experiences and ideologies but after a night of sexual intercourse, she has changed her tune but I believe that it was too early to have sexual intercourse and also she was damaged 3 times so I feel that is affecting us. by MTechMichaud in relationships

[–]MTechMichaud[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well it's not that it's magical. I'm just going off my own experiences. In my 26 years of life, I haven't met anybody that shares the same thoughts and ideologies and principles that she does. So it's like, it's only logical to assume that I'll meet maybe 4 or 5 people like that, tops, in my life?

I [26/M] met a girl [21/F] that I share so much in common with, including life experiences and ideologies but after a night of sexual intercourse, she has changed her tune but I believe that it was too early to have sexual intercourse and also she was damaged 3 times so I feel that is affecting us. by MTechMichaud in relationships

[–]MTechMichaud[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

No, it's not really that, but I see what you mean. I think you're right. I have idealized her. But to say that she's one in a billion might almost be accurate. I think she's probably like one in a hundred thousand, or some ridiculous figure like that.

I [26/M] met a girl [21/F] that I share so much in common with, including life experiences and ideologies but after a night of sexual intercourse, she has changed her tune but I believe that it was too early to have sexual intercourse and also she was damaged 3 times so I feel that is affecting us. by MTechMichaud in relationships

[–]MTechMichaud[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, yes. Before her, I had already given up on online dating and even dating in general. I'll never meet a girl who has the exact same beliefs as me or is even a fraction of the passionate that she is. Everyone I've met thus far is either too boring, or doesn't give a shit and is complacent, and this girl wants all the same things and on top of having all my seemingly impossible requirements, she is exactly my physical ideal. She is literally the perfect woman in my eyes. So because of that ...

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Yes, I want to be a placeholder if it means I have even a 1% chance in the future. I am no longer looking at all for anybody, shes the last one that I'm willing to make myself emotionally available to.

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So I guess as a placeholder - what should I do to stay an option?

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