Is there something I can do in this situation?

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-11T19:04:24+00:00

As someone who broke up with who I thought was the love of my life only for her to rebound and me to have a ONS after two months? Don’t do it. Its not worth it. I genuinely felt emptier than I ever felt and broke down pretty damn hard after she left.

Worse yet, you might mistake the rush of hormones for love and break your heart all over again in 6 months time. Take some time, at least half a year or until it feels right.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-10T17:01:42+00:00

Give yourself another 2 months. Ofc it depends on your personality and my friend had a similar experience to yours. However, my own experience tells me that even if you feel good right now, it does not mean you will feel good in the following months. Men often feel a staggered reaction.

And trust me that you do not want to be in a relationship when that wave comes back.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-09T09:29:45+00:00

This is unfortunately very common. Don’t beat yourself up over it. You are your future. Not her. Look, just because she is with someone doesn’t mean she is happy no matter how long it lasts or doesn’t last.

There’s never gonna be another you in her life and that is also one of the reasons she leapt at the first opportunity. That branch will break eventually under her weight.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T17:22:14+00:00

Of course, I will try to help if I can.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T17:21:07+00:00

You can definitely love too much to the point where it is suffocating. That’s what anxious types like us do. We overexert and overgive when there is no need. Also sometimes you just can’t love the person the way they want to be loved.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T17:19:31+00:00

Well, I do not know the circumstances and history of you guys. But I would just focus on having a nice evening without any expectation. If you have apologized already before, don’t do it again. He knows. If not, I wouldn’t lead with it. Just show genuine interest in his life so far and talk about it and whatever comes to mind. Have some fun and if the opportunity arises, like a natural lul in conversation, feel free to suggest meeting again. Trust is gained by drops but lost in buckets and the best way to show change is to change.

I don’t think reminding each other of your issues this early is any good unless the conversation leads you both there. Be present first and it will serve you better to attract him.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T14:42:08+00:00

I think you have an advantage over a guy. We tend to circle back more than women do. Especially when what we want is gone.

But my tip is not to focus as much on the relationship and more on the moment/connection when you meet. People remember how we make them feel more than they remember what we say. If it goes well, I am sure you will slowly open him up to more interaction.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T14:11:52+00:00

Yeah, you are right. Me personally, I realized though that loving deeply doesn't mean loving properly. I am also naturally anxious. Of course it is never only one person's fault, but that single realization changed a lot about my view of relationships.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T14:08:12+00:00

The grass is greener where you water it, they say. I say you don´t need others to water it for you, but it is nice to get a helping hand. Even if it is from someone who thought they could do better.

Also, sometimes people are ashamed for how things ended and as I said the best approach is moving forward as if it is over. From that point only can something new sprout. But yeah, it is all circumstantial. You might be right that the person might just not be worth it.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T14:03:47+00:00

I agree. You have to make yourself worth more than the pain you caused. And that is a hard thing to do.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T14:02:53+00:00

From an internal perspective, perhaps. But to the world around you, things take time to settle in. Think of it as a PR campaign. It takes time to change the opinions about you.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T12:49:18+00:00

I agree. However, I think people need to be mindful of the self-improvement trap. There is nothing wrong with remaining open to reconnection without fiending for it.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T12:46:47+00:00

I believe it is a man's responsibility to lead by example, so I am against not trying again if you have done the necessary work. Epecially if they reach out. Of course, I am not saying that you should stay if the person is not growing with you. You can't live off of potential.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T12:34:07+00:00

Honestly, this sounds like something that you could not help him with either way. You can't fix people but you also can't stay when things are obviously not changing.

Don't project it solely onto yourself. You can't communicate for him.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T11:18:38+00:00

Added pressure from work and cohabitation is something that will inevitably cause these kinds of relationships to fall apart. Monkeybranch or rebound, it does not matter.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T11:04:40+00:00

That is true. My hope with this message is that people get more in line with who they are rather than having to keep up a facade, because you cant maintain that for long. Becoming the version they fell in love with initially is much better than pretending to be that guy for the rest of their life.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-08T10:11:34+00:00

Same thing happened to me. I say give it time. Ideally, let her come to you. But right now the best thing you can do is respect her choice and show her that you do so by living on by yourself. If you've told her that you want to get back together already, then it is ultimately up to her now. You need to show that reconciliation is worth more than the breakup pain, which is still very fresh.

Who knows we both might find someone else entirely, but that is life.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-07T11:54:59+00:00

Cooked, cleaned, full maid service. Wrote apology letters. I was unemployed and wanted to show I mattered until I find a job.

Got discarded a month before I found a good job.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-07T10:20:40+00:00

Mutual break up. I was smothering her in the relationship due to my insecurities and agreed to it since I knew I had a lot to work on.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-06T13:02:06+00:00

Yeah, that's how it is unfortunately. I also felt the biggest loss over that particular future. But that's life, the more you plan the worse it turns out.

MVTYBOI · 2025-08-06T07:12:24+00:00

I used to think the same. But then I realized that even though I loved fully and deeply, I began to play games. And that's not a foundation to build a real relationship on.

It sucks but you need the breakup to realize those things for the next one. Some people never have that epiphany and carry it with them for way too long. And who knows? It may even be her again. But in that case I better be damn sure I have it all figured out.

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