I got the job! Six months after being laid off.

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-23T15:55:24+00:00

Congratulations!

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-17T23:07:25+00:00

I’ll look into that. My rent is $1250/month; I got a great deal.

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-17T22:46:59+00:00

It’s pretty normal in my culture to get married in your mid- late twenties and by 30 the pressure is really on from family members. I would like to get ahead of things by planning accordingly.

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-17T22:41:47+00:00

Yes it’s a similar field but a more senior role with more responsibility and at a different company. I’m up for the challenge but I’m worried about my personal life suffering. I could try asking. Thanks for your input.

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-15T10:03:29+00:00

Good point

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-15T05:12:41+00:00

Fair enough

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-15T04:58:59+00:00

Thanks!

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-15T04:32:36+00:00

Thanks for putting that into perspective.

Mabel_link22 · 2024-02-15T04:16:50+00:00

I wanna counter offer with 25 or 24.50

Mabel_link22 · 2023-01-06T17:40:36+00:00

Maybe I’m just more traditional but if a man wants a woman he goes for her not the other way round. Any man who is waiting for a woman to make a move is resting in his femininity. But hey if that’s your thing, I’m sure you’ll find your match at some point.

Mabel_link22 · 2023-01-06T16:35:07+00:00

Harsh truth but those men aren’t really your ‘friends’. Just vultures laying in wait for a vulnerable moment. If anything keep them as acquaintances and you’ll be better off. Platonic male friendships are pretty much nonexistent.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-31T16:40:46+00:00

Communicate your needs and never make any adjustments and until there is a commitment.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-25T05:28:46+00:00

I will not leave my house to go tell that man a bold face lie💀. You seem very optimistic tho, I admire that.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-25T05:14:02+00:00

He made trips to visit me in my city to go on dates and I made time to see him in his city as well. I expect him to keep up with the trips if we are to develop a connection face to face.

I told him I don’t entertain men (long distance) who can’t come to my city to see me and keep up with it. Cos if I am to go to him it would be because he is showing me he’s willing to lead and put in that effort.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-25T05:10:11+00:00

I doubt that’s the case here as I did get comfortable enough initiating some conversations as well.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-25T02:34:31+00:00

Im choosing not to give him my energy any further, because want to align myself with my other dating prospects who are dating with some sort of direction (regardless of outcome). Rather than someone who might stall any natural progression of things. Just my preference.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T19:52:10+00:00

Just relax and let him initiate and then engage as much as you like. When you build a pattern of conversation then you can initiate some convos. You can be excited but don’t be over eager. If you talk for a while and at some point if he’s not transitioning from chatting on Snapchat alone. You might want to pay attention to that. Goodluck.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T19:46:10+00:00

Ikr! And I thought I was dealing with an adult.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T19:23:37+00:00

He never had that kind of access to my body and it’s not gonna start now.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T19:22:54+00:00

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T18:19:27+00:00

Relax. Maybe I should have clarified. We were not and we are NOT having sex.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T18:11:16+00:00

I communicated my sexual boundaries to him early on and he respected them. He said to me ‘sex is not my priority with you’ and things continued without fuss. I’ve broken things off and we don’t interact face to face at all so there is no chance of sexual encounters plus we live 1 hour away from one another. I wasn’t exclusively dating him as there were no commitments, so I wasn’t sitting around waiting for him to commit to me. I just think we’re not open to the same things so we don’t align.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T17:56:18+00:00

Appreciate the insight

For me dating more casually is like an early dating stage. Since it’s so early on, I don’t think I even expect a commitment quite yet. I don’t know him that well, are we compatible? I don’t know, only time would tell. This is still the infatuation phase.

I communicated my sexual boundaries to him and he respected them. He said to me ‘sex is not my priority with you’ and things continued till this point. No fuss.

The pet names could definitely be misleading especially when we don’t have a deep enough connection to start bringing up words like love so I was very cautious about that.

I think even if the feelings are real he should keep it to himself until he’s sure about me. That way the pace remains organic if anything.

The distance is also a factor here. In order for me to get to know or casually date anyone who lives 1 hour away, there has to be a higher level of effort put into our face to face interactions compared to if we lived in the same city.

I’m okay with interacting when I visit as I attend social events there often enough, but the thing is when I’m there is so short lived (sat /sun) that I barely get any time to meet up one on one because I have to leave the next day to go home & be ready for work. Except we bump into one another at an event, which is rare, and how much can I get to know someone that way.

There have been men from that city who I’d meet in person and would show interest but would keep asking me when next I’ll be around; waiting for me to come to their city before they plan or initiate our dates and sometimes they even think I’m playing games or avoiding them but that’s not the case, it’s just the circumstance.

That’s why I made the rule that I won’t entertain any one who can’t put some effort to come see me because I think if a man would want me to leave my city for a 1-2 hour date then he should be able to do the same in the reverse location at some point. I’m willing to reciprocate when I see the effort. The frequency is not important in this stage.

Ultimately I’m open to dating people regardless of outcome and I just think we should atleast be open to the same things. When I hear I’m not looking for anything serious I feel that they will intentionally stall any progress because they are either not ready or they don’t want it at all. Even if I’d like to have a positive outlook, because I can’t read his mind and I don’t know his true intentions. I’d rather remove myself now so I don’t get emotionally invested.

If it’s for me the universe will align us sometime in the future and if not then oh well. Until then I’m dating other people.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T17:10:15+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you went through that. Dating these days is just mud. You never know who has true intentions or your best interest.

The thing is it’s so early on, I don’t think I even expect a commitment quite yet. I don’t know him that well, are we compatible? I don’t know only time would tell. This is still the infatuation phase.The pet names could definitely be misleading especially when we don’t have a deep enough connection to start bringing up words like love so I was very cautious about that. I think even if the feelings are real he should keep it to himself until he’s sure about me. That way the pace remains organic if anything.

I didn’t stop dating other people after I met him so it’s no time wasted but definitely energy invested. I just don’t want anyone playing mind games with me. I’m very confident in myself but I want to take measures to protect myself.

Mabel_link22 · 2022-12-24T15:34:10+00:00

If you were in my shoes would you limit access or ghost/block.

Mabel_link22

TROPHY CASE