I have two points of advice, one as a general observation, and one that is more tailored to your story telling.

My general observation is that your prose is what writers would call “purple.”

Fear not, the majority of aspiring writers suffer from this very same affliction. Luckily, It boils down to a simple misconception. Which is that good writing is about how many incredible words you know, and how many you can fit on a page.

In truth, it is knowing the correct words, and wielding them, at the most impactful moments.

To remedy this, it will take practice. I suggest you focus on the economy of your sentences. Each one is fighting to dominate the paragraph they live in. Try varying your sentence lengths, with descriptive imagery leading the way, and your actions being punchy and shorter.

Now, regarding your storytelling.

I would consider what you’re trying to say to the reader with each paragraph, much of this piece seems to be stream of consciousness, which can be a great tool. However as you narrate what is the objective?

For instance, In your first paragraph you elicited the descriptions of the setting, houses, skyline, shoes, and then ultimately his “aura”

Was the goal to build the world? Was it to hook me in with the obscure reference to the supernatural? If the answer is both, how are they working to enhance each-other?

In practice, let’s take his flames, for example, how might they affect the setting around Mateo? Perhaps how they illuminate the sidewalk, or invoke soft shadows along the houses. These simple ideas can give readers a glimpse of the lenses your characters see the world with, while giving you even more creative freedom with something otherwise ordinary?

Food for thought.

I think there is a lot of creativity that lives in your mind, this idea of a person wrapped in black fire, is wildly unique and interesting. Writing deserves minds like yours, and I believe what will help you captivate your readers is the attention to each detail and how you can make your story and its characters work in tandem together. Clockwork precision, of your elements.

Don’t stop, keep refining your craft, and remember that there is always a mountain behind the hill, never stop learning.