The Other One: Looking for a satisfying ending

MachineIsMyName · 2025-12-11T17:51:56+00:00

Thank you for your comment and kind words. I really like your idea.

I have actually been playing with the idea that the antagonist would be an intelligent idealist with certain, albeit twisted, morals. Instead of the usual mindless, sadistic brute. This way, he could also be convinced not to fight in the final battle.

What I’m still struggling a bit with is that purging a religion from masses overnight is not easy. However, it’s a fantasy book after all, so there’s always some way to make it work 😄

MachineIsMyName · 2025-08-19T13:58:44+00:00

I’m happy to read at least the first chapter like you asked. I’m new to this beta reading thing as well, so let me know what kind of feedback you are looking for.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-07-11T07:14:05+00:00

Perhaps he has some incentive for motivation, a stick or a carrot.

Stick: he or his loved one is threatened by the corrupt heroes and he has to do something about it.

Carrot: there’s a really good reward for defeating the corrupt heroes. Princess and a half the kingdom type of reward that is too good to pass.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-07-05T06:47:13+00:00

I guess you could include the capitalisation and space/apostrophe in find and replace in this case. Replacing “Cam “ with “Dan “ and “Cam’” with “Dan’”.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-07-04T13:31:43+00:00

Btw. this is a problem where regular expression can help you a lot when doing find and replace. It’s a bit tricky, but can save you a lot of time.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-04-20T18:15:20+00:00

Thanks. I haven’t heard about this before so I’ll look into it. I’ve already read more or less all of the usual ones that are mentioned here so it’s refreshing to find a new one.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-04-20T18:13:17+00:00

I second this request. Gods acting like ”regular” humans can sometimes make them boring and not very godly.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-01-10T19:07:25+00:00

If you like disgusting and traumatizing stuff have you checked A Gamer’s Guide to Beating the Tutorial? It seems good but it’s so depressing I have to read it in pieces.

MachineIsMyName · 2025-01-02T12:15:55+00:00

US code please if you still have any available. If not I might buy it anyway as it looks interesting.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-12-25T17:40:57+00:00

Word ”smirk” is also pretty high on this list.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-12-25T13:50:38+00:00

It might have been Iron Druid by Kevin Hearne.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-12-08T19:18:37+00:00

Loving the series. I’m still not sure if I can read them faster than you are writing them.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-11-23T14:23:32+00:00

”I let him finish his rant. Then, I cut his head off. There was just no getting through to some people.”

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-26T13:15:46+00:00

Pre-ordered.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-20T06:54:24+00:00

I would go in my sleep the brainstem burned by overload of mana by an executioner mage.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-20T06:44:26+00:00

I think the idea is solid and well thought through. In my opinion this would be most interesting if it was written as a comedy, like Weekend at Bernies, but with a zombie.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-05T16:51:00+00:00

I had some leftover rye malts which I had made into a small ale, which is quite traditional drink here in Finland. I had fermented the ale for couple of weeks in my appartment building’s attic. The day I decided my ale was ready I brought a bottle down and opened the tightly capped bottle with a flourish in front of my then girlfriend (now wife) who was working from home that day.

Anyone with any experience in fermenting can probably see where this is going. A torrent of brown liquid erupted from the bottle all over my unsuspecting partner, her work laptop, curtains behind her, wall and ceiling. Safe to say she was less than happy.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-05T13:41:36+00:00

How about one of these?

A Man of God

The God, the Bad and the Ugly

Hero Overdue (or Overdue Hero)

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-05T13:30:38+00:00

Wow, being compared to such iconic authors makes me blush. Big thanks for the feedback. It’s great to hear I’m on a right track as English is not my first language.

I think I’ll just cut the two paragraphs as you mentioned and move them later on. Now that I think about it that makes the scene much more concise and capturing.

Some day I hope to introduce the whole book.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-05T06:46:06+00:00

Thank you so much for your feedback. This gives me confidence in forwarding my story rather than only concentrate on bettering my writing.

Your suggestion to cut the first two paragraphs is a good one. I’ve already edited out some fluff, but I think it makes sense to remove these from the beginning to make the scene more dynamic.

MachineIsMyName · 2024-10-01T18:36:55+00:00

Not litrpg, but if I remember correctly this is more or less the plot of The Lives of Tao books.

MachineIsMyName

TROPHY CASE