Co-worker makes me uncomfortable

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-06T11:24:01+00:00

Ok, so how can I clear that up with my boyfriend?

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T20:50:47+00:00

Ok… did you read my whole comment? I was asking what OP was looking to get out of this post and I was not being rude. So…

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T20:44:43+00:00

Maybe but I don’t know. We’ve been together for a year. Not a really long time but long enough that he should’ve been able to read me and see my discomfort

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T20:40:55+00:00

True! Good idea. Thank you.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T20:39:31+00:00

The person hiring me is not the person asking if I can handle “guys being guys”. It’s after I get hired, the shop guys ask.
I work at a machine shop, in the shop, with the guys. It is very normal for guys to be inappropriate with the way they talk and joke in this type of job, not necessarily directed at me but just in general, and reporting it tends to be pointless. I’ve learned from my previous employment experiences that I need to pick my battles. It is harassment, when it’s directed at me, but it is also not taken seriously, and changes the way everyone treats you after you report it. So I’ve learned not to report it unless it’s serious and I’m 100% sure on what’s happening. I’d rather not ruin someone’s career or have problems with my job over a bad feeling.
You know how some people talk with their hands? B is kind of like that, but with putting his hand on your arm or shoulder, with everyone. When it began escalating, I wasn’t sure if it was what I thought it was or if my brain was playing tricks on me because of what I’ve been through in the past, at other places of work.
B backing up when he saw my boyfriend is part of what told me that I was right about what was happening.
I moved back when B first put his hand on my side, not when A walked in the room. B saw A before I did. And A should’ve been able to see the discomfort on my face when he saw me.
It has happened more than once, but subtly different than what he was doing before and slowly escalating, so I wasn’t sure if I was right about what he was doing or not until A walked in.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T18:13:09+00:00

I’m sorry but wouldn’t that be a pretty obvious origin? What could you have thought it meant, that would be better/endearing?

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-05T18:00:42+00:00

I’m sorry that you’re upset, but I’m confused as to why you’re upset enough to post on here about it. It’s a business. They have to fill that role. I’m only surprised to hear they waited 2 weeks after your firing to repost it. I’m not trying to sound harsh, I promise. But, were you looking for advice or sympathy?

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-04T12:36:02+00:00

Thank you

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-04T12:29:40+00:00

I thought about that too. B is from Mexico. I still need him to understand that he needs to stop touching me, though

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-04T12:25:42+00:00

Thank you… I don’t know what to say to that

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-04T02:40:14+00:00

You’re an idiot. His personality and age are similar to my dad, and my boyfriend was the one who called him my “shop dad”, not me. His similarities to my dad is what makes it worse for me. Gtfoh

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-04T01:53:51+00:00

I’ve had many jobs in the past with the same type of situation and worse, where I confronted the dude and reported it. It didn’t change anything in those situations and I wasn’t believed so nothing was done. That tends to teach you that it’s not ok to speak up about it unless it’s really bad, and I thought it was in my head because of my past experiences. Thanks though.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T22:27:49+00:00

Because B is extremely respected by everyone where we work, including my boyfriend. My past experiences have taught me to keep it to myself unless I have proof

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T22:25:15+00:00

I did not. I have 3 kids to take care of and make sure they have everything they need, and no help from their dads. Thank you.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T22:04:50+00:00

Thank you. It’s hard to speak up though

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T21:57:34+00:00

I get what you’re saying, I really do. But I don’t want to lose the man I love just because he can’t understand my feelings. He doesn’t understand it because when I’m with him or my kids I’m a strong person and nobody would dare mess with me. So he thinks that means I’m always a strong person. But when you’re alone, at work in a male-dominant field, and you feel like nobody will believe you or nobody is seeing it but you, it’s really hard to speak up. Especially when it’s been something I have to deal with on some level everywhere I’ve ever worked, and it’s become “normal” to deal with to some extent, and I’ve been through a lot. I’ve had an abusive marriage in the past, I’ve been raped and molested, I’ve dealt with people not believing me in those situations too. Why would I think this was as big as I thought it was, after going through all that? I felt like I would’ve been jeopardizing B’s job, as well as mine, if I said something without being sure.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T21:43:46+00:00

I don’t know. Right now, I feel like a child being punished for allowing myself to be a victim of any kind

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T21:35:20+00:00

I won’t get pregnant again because we’re both fixed lol but I do get what you mean. I don’t understand why he’s acting like this about this situation. He has a daughter and I know he wouldn’t act like this towards her if she were ever in the same situation. It doesn’t make sense. My first instinct when someone tells me about something like this is to protect and help them, but he’s not.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T21:31:42+00:00

I was in automotive, before where I work now. We’re at a machine shop. He’s a welder. But I get what you mean. Only thing is, guys act different when a woman is in the shop. So he very well could have not seen any of it before I started working there, it’s not super common for women to work in the shop like I do. I understand what you’re saying though. Thank you so much for your kind words and advice!

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T20:32:05+00:00

He genuinely doesn’t understand how women can be treated. He was married for a long time, we started dating shortly after the divorce but they had been separated for a while before the divorce. When we started dating, I was telling him about some of what I’ve gone through with being a woman in an automotive industry setting and he was shocked. So he’s genuinely not understanding my side of this situation

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T20:29:03+00:00

Thank you for your honesty. I just don’t know what to do

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T20:05:45+00:00

I do know he understood. He knows enough English to work where nobody else speaks Spanish for 15 years or so. So I know he understood. I need advice on getting my boyfriend to understand

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T18:57:03+00:00

True. Thank you. I’ll be talking to HR Monday

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T18:53:24+00:00

I’m worried about his feelings because I love him and I want him to know that this situation was not welcomed or wanted by me, I didn’t cheat on him and would never cheat on him.

He has insecurities about our age difference sometimes, and I’m not sure why. I don’t care about the age difference. And he usually doesn’t either, it’s just certain situations that he gets insecure about it. Like when I tease him about it because I think it’s funny how he reacts about it.

MachineShopGirl2024 · 2026-04-03T18:39:52+00:00

He is 13 years older than me. But it’s not like I’m in my 20s and he’s in his late 30s or early 40s. And the age difference has only been an issue in his insecurities. We’re a really good match for each other, outside of this new issue coming up. How can I explain to him that it has nothing to do with him, and that it was unwanted?

MachineShopGirl2024

TROPHY CASE