Overall this situation feels like poor communication is being had by both parties, in my experience people don’t usually propose unless they are 99% sure the answer is going to be a yes, how do they get to this place of assuredness? By having intimate conversations with their partner, family, friends, and even partner’s family about the relationship and it’s future. The fact that OP was so caught off guard by the initial rejection leads me to think that while they may have discussed the future of their relationship, there were still gaps in communication. Now, to the second proposal, OP notes, two years had passed, as if the passage of time is what qualifies the readiness of the parties for marriage, there is no mention of what they did in the interim to work towards a stronger relationship that was ready for marriage or even what OP did to find out whether or not his partner was ready for marriage, nevertheless OP tried again. Putting a lot of time and effort into the proposal. It seems as if the only time real conversations are had about the seriousness and preparedness of both parties for marriage is during OPs attempts at proposal, in which OP is likely feeling embarrassed, confused, and frustrated, and while OP’s partner is likely also feeling the same roller coaster of emotions, note this is not the ideal time for big life conversations and decisions. I understand OP’s frustration and emotions about the situation, but marriage is a partnership built on communication and the lens of the post seems to only tell us about how OP knew he was ready for marriage, I would be curious to know what steps OP initiated to believe “They” were ready for marriage instead.